I do agree and the rason I say that is cause even though Lilly's mom and aunt did the best that they could, they showed her the cooking and the cleaning and sewing and soem writing. Lilly was to marry into higher class snd Snow Flower showed her more writing and how to tell what was the better product in material , how to serve and talk to men. Yes I know that to you and to me it sounds like she was not good for important decisons but to hger they were important.