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I've been with my husband for 8yrs, he was just learning bass when we met. The band is growing in popularity and they're working very hard at it. It consumes a lot of his time. He has just left for a 6 wk tour across america three days ago. He has left many times before for five days up to three weeks, but never this long. It's only been a few days but I already miss him terribly. I love him.
I don't feel that I am a priority anymore. I don't know what to do. Music makes us happy and he'll always play music. Its hard for me to be left behind and I feel resentment because I always have a steady job to support us and pick up the slack while he's away.
He loves me and I have always been very supportive and proud of him and his accomplishments. How can we come up with a compromise so my needs are met as well as his. We both want happiness but with the band's success he tells me he is happiest on the road.
I love and admire him but I don't know if our relationship will continue much longer under these circumstances. What can I do... should I let him go? |
| Posted by Chelsea on 05/16/2008 03:16 AM
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Hi Chelsea,
I could and would never tell someone else whether or not to get a divorce, but I would love to vent with you and give you any advice I can. If it makes you feel any better I totally understand how you are feeling. It is very hard to feel like the second most important thing in the man you loves life. Ecspecially when he is gone so much. I feel that it is our job to be supportive and strong for them and it is just as important for them to be sensitive to our feelings. He should be trying to make you feel secure in your relationship even more so than a "regular" man working a 9-5 would. I don't like using that term, but it just seems to fit. Regular life and the life of a musican is so different. That's a shock to any women ecspecially when you didn't expect this when marrying him You sound like you are there for him and that you want him to be happy, just make sure that he feels the same towrds you. Their job is their life and it seems to take over everything which is overwhelming at times I know. Try to keep your life going with your own activities and work when he is gone. As far as him saying he is happiest on the road, is pretty wrong to me. You have every right to be upset about that. Maybe you should just tell him exactly what you want and if he isn't willing to compromise then think about your next step. I find that little things like him calling me several times a day, even emailing helps me to feel close to him when he is gone.. That shows me that he is thinking about me. You can suggest things he can do to make you feel happy and secure with him. The biggest mistake I find is trying to make him feel guilty, it alwyas back fires!! I don't know what your situation is like as far as communication goes but that is always the best way to fix a problem. Just be strong, you have to be to survive this lifestyle. If you ever want to talk I would love to , take care and good luck |
| posted by Ashley on 11/14/2008 02:56 AM
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