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| Stay at Home Moms |
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How do you disapline when your child bites?
We have had this problem with Elijah at home and at school. He did it today and drew blood from 2 of the 3 kids!!!!!!! We have told him that it is not nice to do that and that you have to keep your hands and feet to yourself and that you can not be mean to your friends. I am at my witts end I don't know what to do. I don't want to say that I am giving up but I just don't know what else to do and it is very frustrating when we have done every thing we do for disaplining him for this does not work and every one says spanking will solve it. And I just don't see that as the problem solver.jmo
TIA |
| Posted by nicole on 05/15/2008 09:38 PM
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There is an article about biting at ChildCareExchange.com. Incase you don't have time to read the article, here is some of the reasons why children bite and how to prevent it:
1. Analyze the room environment, schedule, routines, and expectations of children and staff to minimize:
• Congestion
• Confusion and disorder
• Child waiting
• Child frustration
• Child boredom
• Commotion
• Competition for toys and materials
• Competition for adult attention
2. Avoid large groups and break into small groups:
• Use other spaces in the center, the playground, and walks.
• Within the room, spread out the activities and the staff to avoid bunching up (also use the nap area).
3. Look for ways to increase the promotion of the children's sense of security and stability:
• "No surprises" — maintain a predictable schedule and ensure that children understand and anticipate the progression of the day.
• Ensure prime times with the child's primary caregiver.
• Ensure warm, cozy, semi-secluded "places to be."
• Avoid staffing changes. Develop and maintain individual and group rituals.
4. Look for ways to engage children more effectively in the environment:
• Analyze choices perceived by children.
• Analyze the developmental appropriateness of choices.
• Provide duplications and multiple options.
• Consider whether to increase the motor and s ensory choices available.
5. Look for ways to calm children after periods of excitement:
• Relaxed transactions
• Calming music
• Calming physical contact with caregivers
6. Analyze grouping of children to avoid combinations that might lead to conflict or biting:
• Avoid grouping biters and likely "victims" together.
• Avoid grouping children who will compete for toys.

Hope some of this helps! Good Luck |
| posted by Amanda on 05/15/2008 11:28 PM
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Your child sounds frustrated because he cannot communicate his feelings clearly. I would ask the child care staff what was happening when he bit his friends. This way you can learn the patterns and try to avoid putting him in a situation where he feels like he has to bite.
A few things we did with our biters were these:
1. Set up at safe "time out" area away from the other kids/situation for you child. This is a place for your child to calm down or vent.
2. When putting the child in the time out area. Talk firmly but calmly to him: "Biting our friends is not nice." Biting is very yucky and very mean." "No biting" "You hurt your friends."
3. After the time out, acknowledge the child's feelings. "I know you wanted that toy but Suzy was playing with it first, lets find something else fun to play with". Then redirect the child to a different area away from his most favorite victims.
Once you discover the reasons why your child bites, you can take action before he feels the need to bite. Best thing with biting is to try to be proactive instead of reactive.
This work for us; good Luck. And know all stages will eventually end.
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| posted by DB on 05/16/2008 09:04 AM
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Hang in there Mom. You may need a 'shock and wow' event to try and stop this behavior.
I come from a background of child development, and autism therapy. Biting is a difficult behavior to deal with, without having autism thrown into the mixture. Your son most likely needs few words and as minimal activity revolving around the event as possible. Before you resort to spanking (which may work for some children) you could try a "pop" on the mouth right after he bites. If you use and open palm and just tap him on the mouth with flat, firm fingers, it doesn't hurt (try it on yourself) but it does shock them, and since it is on the mouth it is directly related to the incident. A simple, firm directive of "No bite!" should preceed the pop. If you feel it is necessary, you could later explain that it hurs (which he already knows), and that it is not ok (which he also knows). Try to be consistant and do this every time. Hopefully the shock of the pop in his face will get some results for you.
Pray for insight into his purpose in biting as well, so at least you can understand what he is hoping to accomplish by biting. Whatever it is, the behavior still needs to stop. If you know why you may be able to help him by giving him the tools to resolve the issue in an appropriate manner. If you can eventually find the trigger for him, you may be able to say "NO bite" as you see it coming and prevent it that way. He may need to be taught an alternative outlet for this frustration for you to plug in for him.
Good luck! |
| posted by JDT on 05/16/2008 10:46 AM
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| Ok this might sound rediculous and i'm sure some moms would strongly disagree with me but bite him back. I've talked to alot of moms whose kids are now in their teens and they had the same problem. Their solution was to bite them back and tell them "see you don't like it, so don't do it to other people" Kindof like monkey see monkey do, well this is monkey learn kindof thing. It might work and it might not be for you, i just wanted to throw my two cents in. |
| posted by Amanda on 05/16/2008 11:43 PM
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