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| I feel the same, I wouldnt change her for the world, but when you see all your friends still going out and having a blast it gets me, and it doesnt help im a stay at home mom, and my boy works all the time and has freedom. |
| posted by bobbie on 01/26/2007 09:48 PM
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| Ladies, I could NOT agree with you more. There is no guilt whatsoever in feeling that way, I have discovered. It is totally normal. My daughter is almost 5 months old and I am still not used to my "new life" as a stay at home mom. I knew my life was going to change, but I had no idea it would change this much. I even get jealous of friends and family member who get to casually watch television, go to bed as early as they like, and know they're going to sleep all night and get out of bed whenever they're ready. BOY do I miss that!!! I miss the old me, but I love my daughter so much. Also remember that as your child grows, you will get that independence back in bits and pieces. It's just hard when they're babies and they need you all the time! However, once they're grown you will miss this time so enjoy it, even though it's so hard sometimes! |
| posted by Briana on 01/26/2007 10:10 PM
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| I'm just glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way. It is so tough, and I often resent family members and friends for their freedom too. Even my husband who only goes to work, but at least he can go to work and has the freedom to get away. I made the choice to be a Stay at Home mom, and I'm proud of that choice, but it is so hard - I knew that it was going to be hard, but Nothing prepares you for this. Briana and Bobbie thank you so much for your replies! I have to keep reminding myself how fast time flies. |
| posted by Amanda on 01/27/2007 07:38 PM
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| It's interesting that we are all Stay At Home Moms. |
| posted by Amanda on 01/27/2007 07:39 PM
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| At first it seemed like such a smooth transition when i had my son (who i love more than life itself). Before i had him i was working as a counselor at a homeless shelter and just always on the go...now, after being home for 3 months i am getting a little stir crazy. It has been hard being the 1st of my friends to have kids. You are always hearing about them going out and doing all these exciting things...the big even of my dad is the Richie took a good nap. Another thing that makes it hard is seeing my husband be busy with work and school...it can get lonely. It is a frustrating point for me. |
| posted by Cait on 01/27/2007 09:12 PM
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| What a little cutie you have! I can totally relate about the Big event of the day being a nap (or a poop in our case - by son is a little sluggish in that department). Do any of you breastfeed? |
| posted by Amanda on 01/27/2007 09:23 PM
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| Yes, I am breastfeeding and have been since my daughter was born. I am totally with you guys on the husband thing..I get so jealous when he gets dressed and goes to work for 9 hours a day. At least he gets a break!! I know in my heart of hearts that choosing to be a stay at home mom is what is best for my daughter, but there are days (especially lately) where I feel like it is almost impossible and SO incredibly lonely. The fact that the weather outside stinks doesn't help much either. I feel so trapped in my home and I can't get away from my baby when she's driving me crazy! Don't forget, and I have to do this myself, that this is just a chapter in life. Soon these challenges will be replaced with challenges like potty training, stranger anxiety, preschool, etc. Hang in there!! |
| posted by Briana on 01/28/2007 11:47 AM
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| I breastfed for the first 2 months then stopped. There where problems with him not getting enough nutrients, so the doctor felt it would be better if he went on formula. I was thinking how it is interesting that my husband thinks i am nuts for being jealous of him going to work. He is a YN for the navy (basically he does a lot of the decoding information for the pentagon and things along those lines) and it can be really stressful for him. I keep trying to explain to him that it is a break because he can actually talk with people that won't spit up on him or cry because you won't hold them. When i was working, i couls sometimes be stuck working 50 hours...this is the first time in my lie i actually kind miss that. I miss the challenge of working with my clients and being around people who were liked minded. |
| posted by Cait on 01/28/2007 01:17 PM
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I feel that way all the time. I am also the first among all my friends to be married or have a baby. I get jealous when i think about all the things they get to do at the drop of a hat (eat out or whatever), when it take planning to do anything with kaden. My husband has no idea. He has never been around breastfeeding, and didnt even know women still did it until i brought it up. I kinda feel bad because he dosent feel connected to his son as much as he should. Then he works and goes to school, and he is in EMS so when he goes to work he is gone for 24 hours. I am home by myself for 36 hours at a time. Work then school the next day. IT is driving me crazy, all it do is shop online and clean the house, and of course take care of the baby. Its just nice to know that there are other women out there that feel the same way.
cheers |
| posted by Jes on 01/29/2007 09:00 PM
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| Jes...have you thought about joining a mom and me class. It would be a great way to get out of the house and get to be around other adults. You can also try joining a play group or something. I can understand not seeing your husband for 36 hours and the stress it must put on you. There are some days i am asleep when my husband gets home from school, and he is gone by the time i wake up. It really can be lonely!! About you son not being as close as he is to you...for a bit my son would cry if my husband would try to take him. If there is anyway for you to get out for a few hours and leave them home to "hang out" that might help them bond. |
| posted by Cait on 01/29/2007 09:41 PM
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| My husband works long days and gets home just as I'm putting Brady to sleep every night so Brady, of course, always wants me and my husband isn't able to "settle him" as I can. I know how frustrating it can be. I feel like if he's home I should be able to get some kind of break, but I never do. I just keep telling myself that in a few short years, it will be him and dad always - fishing, fixing things, playing ball, etc. It seems like it will be forever, but I just keep reminding myself of that. GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE HELPS SO MUCH!! that is great advice! |
| posted by Amanda on 01/29/2007 10:06 PM
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| Hello Everyone! I am a working mom so I don't know "exactly" how you feel but I too miss my independence. I am up by 5:15 every morning...sometimes before if Destiny wakes up before I do. I shower, get dressed, make bottles etc before waking Destiny to get her washed up, fed, and spend some time with her (everything is reversed if she wakes before I get a shower etc. ). I have her to daycare by 7:30a, at work by 8 until 3:30 then off to daycare by 4. when I get home I am trying to spend time with Destiny, making dinner, washing dishes and clothes etc. My husband works 2p-11p and 3rd shift 1-2 nights per week, so I have no help in the evenings. After the bedtime routine, I try to get our clothes together for the next day and refill her diaper bag. By this time I am completely exhausted! We are most often sleep by the time my husband gets home...we only see him in "passing" in the am before leaving for the day. He does try to help with Destiny when she wakes during the night, but like several of you, since she does not see him as much, she sometimes cries and can't be consoled by him, so I have to take over. I don't have any family nor a lot of friends in the area, so I don't get to go out or have much time to myself. Even grocery shopping with a baby can be overwhelming! I am often running of fumes but I love Destiny and wouldn't change a thing but I still miss my "old" free & flexible life. I also miss my husband! Good luck to everyone!! |
| posted by Tiffany on 01/30/2007 09:14 AM
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| I think that being a stay at home mom is the best thing for my son. I am not the first of my friends to have a baby, so I guess we all get to fuss about the same things. And actually they are all SAHM's too. However, when I try to explain to my husband that him going to work is a privlage he just looks at me like I'm stupid. He thinks that his hours at work equal my hours at home. Which I have to tell you my husband works very hard. He typically works 12-15 hours days 5 days a week. I've tried to tell him he gets to talk to adults, even though they may act like children they still have a response other than squels I get out of my son. |
| posted by APRIL on 01/30/2007 05:36 PM
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| Well, it's good to hear there are others with the same feelings, stay at home or not. Thank you all for your replies and stories. |
| posted by Amanda on 02/01/2007 11:41 AM
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| I think being a stay at home mom is one of the hardest jobs.No one will understand it unless they have gone through it. I times I wish i could trade spots with my husband and be able to sleep in and work, interact with other people. but then i would miss her every smile, and the o so great crys (ahahh). But i dont think we always get the credit for doing a 24 hour a day job, we dont get days off and there is no leaving early. I just wish the men would see this too.. |
| posted by bobbie on 02/01/2007 01:54 PM
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| I soo feel what you are saying. I LOVE Nicholas and when it comes down to it I won't go back to work for his sake. However, there are days I just wish I could walk away and take a break. We just moved here from out of state so I have no one that can watch him for a few hours or the day. I am hoping I can meet some other Mom's from this website and feel like I use to "pre baby" |
| posted by Lynette on 02/01/2007 06:05 PM
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| Wow! I felt guilty for having these same thoughts. Sadly it makes feel like I wasn't a good mom to miss my independence. Especially since my friends are still swinging single or new couples. I feel isolated especially when my husband is at work and I feel like he doesn't understand or help enough when he is home. I love my daughter and I am the happiest I have ever been, but I feel like I need something to go with it. I feel like I am going stir crazy! Glad to see that I am not the only one. |
| posted by claudia on 02/02/2007 05:33 PM
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Hello,
I just had my first baby 1 week ago. She is sooo cute! I have been lucky so far because my husband took last week off & will be taking this week off as well, so the shock of being home alone with little Audrey has not quite hit me yet. I am glad to know that there will be a place for me to express my thoughts on the matter. |
| posted by Rebecca on 02/04/2007 03:44 PM
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| Whew, I thought it was just me! I lived by myself for 13 years before I married and had a baby. It's been a big change and sometimes I do miss my cute little house that was always clean and quiet. My marriage is going through some growing pains, too. Anyone else? Granted, this has been an adjustment but I'm so in love with my boys and wouldn't change a thing (except that my husband remember how to do laundry again...) |
| posted by Becky on 02/04/2007 04:03 PM
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| It is so good to finally hear someone who feels the same way I do. I am a stay at home mom and that is pretty much all I do. I know I should feel grateful for being able to stay at home but I have no other life. My husband doesn't understand me. He thinks he doesn't get out either but at least he goes to work and sees other people. |
| posted by Kim on 02/05/2007 01:29 PM
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| I love my son more then life itself. I'm not sure if I miss my single life, but I do miss just being able to get dressed and go. Now I have to get my son ready, get myself ready, get my husband ready(cz' he can't manage without me haha), get my son ready again (cz' he either needs fed by now, or he pooped) Being a mom is a blast but i'll always be fond of my pre-baby memories. |
| posted by Kate on 03/10/2007 09:24 PM
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| i know and understand exactly how you feel. I have a 9 month old and me and my husband frequently think back to how easier life was before our son. Don't get me wrong i love him to bits but to go and do what ever i wanted before without a moment hesitation and only me to worry about was pure bliss. |
| posted by kate on 03/10/2007 10:08 PM
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| absolutelly! I always miss it but then I think how I could never live with out my daughter and I still wonder if I can somehow have the life I had before my daughter but with her....not likely though. :( Most times it makes me feel sad but then I get over it. |
| posted by rosangela on 03/11/2007 01:32 AM
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| Wow! I feel the same way but, I work full-time. I am feeling really overwelhmed with all of the demands on life right now. I absolutely adore my Son and Husband but, I feel like I have lost me. |
| posted by Kimberly on 03/14/2007 08:57 AM
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| Thank you all for your stories and input. Please keep sharing your experiences, I am always reminding myself to just breathe and relax - that the time will go by faster than we could ever imagine - that we should enjoy this time. (I know it sounds easier said than done) But sometimes it works :) |
| posted by Amanda on 03/15/2007 09:57 PM
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