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| Stay at Home Moms |
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| I feel like I am going crazy, I can't seem to keep my house clean, I am going to go nuts! I stay at home with my two children three and 13 months, and I do daycare out of my home for three to six children ( not all at once ) and I am so beat and I think because I am home all day my husband things should be done. He is not mean about by all means but I am trying to be a good wife and have all the laudry done and shopping done, and I just feel overwhelmed. Is anyone else feeling the same way?? |
| Posted by Jeanette on 05/13/2008 02:25 PM
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WOW....
I say with all that you are doing now, you are pretty amazing. I have one child, and I don't work. And I am overwhelmed everyday anyway. I love being with my daughter, but sometimes I need a little help. I almost feel a little bad saying that I feel overwhelmed after reading your post. Mostly though, I just get exuasted from worrying over everything... Since I am not working money is always tight now. But we both decided that we would rather have someone stay home with our daughter, then have us both working.
But I hafta say that is pretty amazing, I don't think I could ever do all that! And you have every reason to feel overwhelmed... I would ask your husband to help out a little more, have him throw in a load of laundry every now and then, or cook dinner and clean up one night a week or something. That way you can have time to do something else... or just relax!
Though if you haven't, you should talk to him about this, maybe he isn't fully realizing all the work you are doing while he is away... have him take a day off and stay home with you, just so he can get a glimpse of what goes on whule he isn't there. I bet he would try to help you out alot more after that. lol.
And don't worry, women with much less on there plates are feeling the exact same way! |
| posted by Becky on 05/14/2008 01:53 AM
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I agree..
I have much less on my plate but can't seem to get motivated enough to get things done around my house.
I understand how you both feel, I was in that boat too and now I have no excuse because my boys are in school all day.
You are working hard and your husband has to be supportive. If he isn't know that we understand and will keep you in our prayers..Rebee |
| posted by Rebecca on 05/14/2008 02:33 PM
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I have a 7 1/2 month old and it takes me all day to do simple chores. I get the laundry done but not folded, or dinner done but dishes pile up. sweeping is a long process also. A friend came over the other day and took the baby to the park that is about 100 yards from my door. In an hour I got all my clothes folded all my rooms swept my dishes going in the dishwasher wiped all my counters and took a shower.
I loved her for that time.
If I could get that once a day I would be set.
I can't do it while she naps because I BF and she falls asleep while I hold her. If I even think of putting her down she is screaming.
Good luck, I have resorted to doing everything one handed most of the time. he he he |
| posted by Kristhal on 05/14/2008 02:47 PM
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| He is a great dad, but I feel like he lazy at times and does not want to talk about anything, he hates his job and he wnats a new one, well do something about it. I have two children and take of three others on a regular basis, and some days I have more. I feel like I am taken for granted, he just puts his clothes where ever and leaves things, and he does not stop spending money, I am going to go crazy if things don't change |
| posted by Jeanette on 05/14/2008 02:48 PM
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| You know when you read something, and the first thought you have is "omg, is this person writing about me?!?!" After reading the post above this I had that exact thought. My Fiancee is EXACTLY the same, leaving dirty socks on the couch, cups and plates and soda bottles all over the living room. And worst of all, spending money left and right on things he wants. He wants to buy a playstation 3... 400 dollars on a video game system! I keep telling him that he barley spends enough time with me and Anna as it is! And now he wants to buy video games so that when he is home he can find another excuse to get out of helping me, or spending time with his daughter? He did agree with me too, once I had explained all that to him, but then a week later he was back to wanting it again. I tried reminding him, but he kept saying he wanted to do something for himself. I want him to spend an entire day in my shoes. I know I can do what he does... we used to work together. But He would never survive for a whole day. |
| posted by Becky on 05/14/2008 03:47 PM
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| This is my story too, a constant lesson! Just curious, have you ever stopped throughout your day to reflect on your emotions and where they are coming from? What I have found is that when I am feeling overwhelmed with my housework and children, or bills what it usually comes down to is that it is always guilt of not fulfilling what I think his expectations are of me! We really have NO control whatsoever over our husbands actions and opinions...we are powerless no matter how much we argue about it, right? They may change these nasty habits for awhile...but they are always back to the same old stuff in no time! Try this, it works for me: change your mind. The only thing you have control over is your thoughts and your feelings toward the very important work that you do (even if it is his mess, his children, his expectations of you). Decide, for yourself, what YOU want for your home life (is it peaceful, clean, loving, warm, or crazy?). Is your anxiety or guilt helping you to accomplish this? Accept for yourself what your job is, this entails all that you can do, AND what you cannot do. Rule out all guilt, make it go bye-bye every time you feel it. I know that I may have to continually remind my husband of what is possible for me, and occassionally I do have to remind myself...but it is from a place of knowing, and it is calm and reassured. |
| posted by Jennifer on 05/14/2008 05:39 PM
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| I do know what you mean. It seems that there are some days that nothing can get done. When my husband comes home from work I feel like he is tired of seeing clothes everywhere and dishes piled up and toys all over the place. Even though I know I did something its not like you can see it cause right as soon as it is clean the toys come right out again and there is the mess. Dont get me started on laundry, cause as soon as you are to the end clothes end up coming out of somewhere. Seems like I will never finish it. |
| posted by Jessica on 05/15/2008 11:07 AM
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| Well we did talk last night and I htink maybe or I hope atleast he gets its, he saw me very upset and I am hoping that he gets it! I am so tired most days and just need a break! |
| posted by Jeanette on 05/15/2008 11:10 AM
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| ahhh a break isn't that what all SAHM's want? It's not enough that we do all the cooking and cleaning and laundry and shopping and on and on....but even when the kids are asleep we always have one ear open just in case. It's a 24 hour job with no sick or vacation days, that's why I get upset when my husband yells at me and tells me he doesn't work at a country club. Well...no, but he gets the 30 min drive to and from work all by himself and a lunch hour where he gets to eat alllll of his food and not give away bites. And when he's sick he gets to lay in bed and have me cater to every whim. Ahhhhh, a break. |
| posted by Emily on 05/15/2008 03:03 PM
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| I am a SAHM but I also work full time watching other peoples children. I am having a better day today, but man somedays I just can't deal. I work from home because that is how I can bring money into the house without having to leave my kids in daycare! |
| posted by Jeanette on 05/15/2008 03:08 PM
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| I used to do in-home daycare too and I remember my husband getting all upset when he came home to a house full of other peoples children and a BIG mess...because, I mean they had to play ya know! I would try my hardest to keep things clean, but like someone else said...that would only last a short while. In reality you cannot expect the kids to just sit still and not explore their world, right? My husband probably thought this would be the ideal home! When I think back, that sounds so ridiculous that its funny! I think that our men should respect our workplace better, have patience with the mess...because in the long run what will matter most is not how clean the house was for our children, but how much love and learning they experienced in it, and how much respect and understanding their parents had for each other during this time. |
| posted by Jennifer on 05/15/2008 03:24 PM
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| Thank God I'm not the only one who can't keep the house clean! I have three kids and there is just clutter everywhere! I would like to do day care as well, but I feel like I can't keep the house clean enough, so no one would want their kids there! Stop feeling bad and enjoy the day as much as you can =) The world won't stop if there are dirty dishes in the sink. And if your husband doesn't like them tell him where the soap is. A daycare is a full time job ontop of your #1 job of being a MOM! |
| posted by jackie on 05/16/2008 12:38 AM
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We have a 14 month old and I am 18 weeks pregnant with number two. Some days I feel so overwhelmed. My husband just goes to work. He hardly does things to help me out. I don’t really blame him, as he works over 12 hours a day and then has to study for a certification for his job. He is usually gone on Saturday mornings. He expects everything to be clean and organized because I stay at home. I feel like a single parent at times and even taken for granted because he thinks I have it easy because I am home. I got so tired of it. What I started to do was clean 1 room a day and straighten up the rest. (Pick up papers, wipe up counters with Lysol wipes, etc) just so it looks tidy. I also just do 1 load of laundry no matter how small each day to keep it from piling up and becoming a huge chore. It has taken the pressure off me to clean the entire house and my husband thinks the house looks nice and organized.
I am very lucky because my husband and I went to a World Wide Marriage Encounter weekend. We now can talk about how I feel about things in a way where he can understand where I AM COMING from without it becoming nasty or belittling my feelings. And I am getting a better idea of what he is going through. It has greatly helped. I don’t know where we would be without it. I would suggest you all to check it out.
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| posted by DB on 05/16/2008 11:53 AM
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Oh My Gosh!!! I feel the same way!!! MY 2 year old keeps me on my toes so much nothing gets done and I feel so guilty that nothing gets done.... I am so wiped out by the time the hubby gets home that I crash on the couch and wonder if I will have the strengh to get up...... I feel better knowing I am not the only one.
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| posted by Karen on 05/31/2008 08:48 PM
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| I can definately sympathize with you. I am a stay at home mom of three. Keeping everything going is a challenge. |
| posted by susan on 06/19/2008 10:04 AM
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Real quick... my 2 cents... I'm a SAHM of a 21 mo & 2 mo old & what I found helpful was getting out the house! It's a headache getting them ready and out the door, but once were out, for the most part its smooth sailing... something about fresh air... the best part, they don't ruin the house while your away... pack some lunchables (there are coupons for them all the time) some juice boxes, fruits &/or veggies... and take the afternoon off outside a few times a week, hopefully you can enjoy this time of your life more! Good luck :D
And to answer ur ?, yes! we all feel overwhelmed, thats the beauty of becoming a mother, you automatically relate to every other mother on the face of the Earth, lol |
| posted by Candice on 06/20/2008 12:52 AM
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I have read through your thoughts and understand your concerns because I have a husband who works 3 24/hr shifts a week and doesn't help at home. He does like to complain about the "trashed-out house" that he comes home to.
My heart goes out to the moms with little ones(do you have someone who would be willing to take your kids for a while to go on a date with your husband..that way he doesn't feel like he's being cornered). I remember feeling isolated and alone (during my boys younger years) what has helped me get a boost of self-confidence is to make a list of the things I did today and go over it when my husband asks me what have I been doing all day..
Also, it is extremely important to find a good friend that will help you stay on track and encourage you when you feel like throwing in the towel..
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| posted by Rebecca on 06/20/2008 01:17 AM
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I always feel that way! I have a 4 and 2 year old and it seems I can never get anything done or even finish a project once I start.
Your not alone at all and I think your doing a great job. I think all SAHM's hang onto their sanity by a thread =) But it's well worth it! |
| posted by Crystal on 06/20/2008 01:51 AM
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