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| Need to Vent Group |
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I had a shitty weekend and moms day!!!Thursday he had to stay up and take his dd to the dentist to get an apparatus on her teeth for 9 months to stretch her mouth out for braces.He was a dick that night cause he only had 3 hrs of sleep.We got into an argument over her because she started crying that she didnt want this if she couldnt play sports.She didnt ask the dentist about sports.She pitched this fit like yalls 2 r 3 yr old child would pitch.She stomped up and down, thru herself on the ground and up against the wall ,saying she would play she didnt care who told her no she was gonna do it anyway!She started screaming she wanted her mommy and that we were mean!all the while screaming she hated us and her mom was gonna pay to get these off and she didnt care if she got hit in soccer her mom would pay to get a new one for her mouth.I was like freaking.Friday we got into an argument over her again.She started it.We fought for like 4 hrs.He told her that she was grounded all week and she wasnt going to play soccer this weekend cause she needed to take it easy cause she came home friday from school hurting real bad.Friday,later that night she told Andy that she was going to play soccer whether her dad and me liked it or not.Noone was gonna tell her what to do!He let her friend come over and spend the night and her mom Saturday morning come and get them and took them to soccer.He told her not to play and she said she wanted to go to route on her teammates.Well my son Andy got up and asked where Sara was and I told him that she went to soccer and he about freaked saying OMG Jim doesnt let us do that Mom;that isnt fair and I told him the story and so he called her and asked if she played and she lied and told him no.He told her that 1 of his friends (Fruiport)saw her playing and she told him yes she played ;she told him she was going too.Jim got up about an hr later and we told him and he blew up on us and told us that it wasnt our fkg business what HIS daughter did and that he was tired of us and that he hated us and all kinds of bs!He took up for her and we fought for about 6 hrs.He said he was going to divorce me and go to a lawyer Monday.He told me he cant do nothing about her being at his x's house!I told him how is it right that he let her off grounds to go to soccer and then she lied which he comes down hard w my kids!The world ends if its my kids!He called his x and the cops to go and get her from the x's house and told her after he divorces me hes going to take her mom to court and get her ft.She said she doesnt care she didnt do anything wrong and her mom told her that she could play and she didnt lie she decided to play.(thats her knew way of lying;She decided to do differently)When she got here, she was in sooo much pain ;she was begging for meds to deaden her mouth.She had sores in her mouth from it rubbing her raw ;cause of her running in soccer the whole time.Jim and I made up ;I think.I told her that she was grounded and she told me she s not gonna be grounded, but today ,and she was going to her moms and she didnt lie to her mom, only to her dad, and her dad cant do anything against her, while shes at her moms.She dogged me and said shitty thing s to me all day til her mom came and got her.She told me that I was trash cause I got married at 16 and had 7 kids.I of course got up and popped her!She told me she hated me and I told her ;so did I.I told her dad what happened ,when he got up ,and she called later and he asked her why she was a bitch to me and she informed him ;because she hates me.She told him that she wants to come and live w him ft ;but she wont come ;cause I am here!Her new tactic!She thinks that if she tells him that; shell split us up and he can have her ft.We found out ,that last weekend, she was telling me that he didnt like me anymore, and that he wasnt happy w me anymore ,and that He told her that I was always being mean to him.We think now,that she is trying to cause problems w us and spilt us up ;cause I have been on her azz for stuff shes been doing and he didnt know about!I dont know what we are going to do about her ;but Ill be damned if I am going to put up w this thats going on!Does anyone have stepkids that they dont get along with?that tries to start problems?I am at my wits end w her!
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| Posted by Lexi on 05/12/2008 12:41 AM
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| I have a step-son that 6 years old. I was 15 years old when he was born. I meet him when he was 1 1/2. His mother doesn't care about him. She sees him maybe once a month. She calls here and starts stuff with me. She never wants anything to do with him. I went on a field trip with him and my husband said not to say anything about it to her. She tells my step son that she will be there and never shows up. So she called me yelling and saying she's his mother and she wants to be more apart of his life. My husband tells me to blow it off and ignore her. It's very hard for me because I've done everything possiable for my step-son and it feels like nobody is thankful for what I have done. My husband and I had a baby together. I always feel like it's my daughter and I and then my husband and step-son. My step son and I do not get along at all. He is horriable when it's just him and I. When I tell my husband and was bad, my husband sticks up for him. My husband says I never do anything for him. I've been a mother to him since I was 16 years old. I didn't go to college so I could watch him. I worked at a daycare and brought him with me. My husbands mother always makes me feel like crap. I can't stand her. She tells my husband that I need to back off. I told her to butt out because she's the problem. Before I came around my husbands mother was in full control of my stepson. My stepson only wants her. He NEVER wants to be around me. It makes me feel like shit. He told me the day before mother's day he wants his mom and dad to be together and for my daughter and I to go away. It is very hard. |
| posted by Kris on 05/12/2008 10:09 AM
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Well, I am not saying I am on one side or the other gut I have been that kid. Mind you never throwing the tantrums and being so extreme but the husbands daughter. My mom left my sister and I when I was 1 yr 1/2 my sister a preemie of only a few months. my dad raised my sister and I. When he started sating we didn't like the women bacause they were taking our daddy, in reality maybe the only stability we had ever known. As parents we know kids of all ages see things in black and white. So when she see you coming in she feels like you are taking something very dear to her, not just her daddy but the fact that her dream of her mommy and daddy getting back together one day is gone too back together. So, whatever she can do she will in order to have her "family" back. Even though it is better that tehy are apart, kids can not understand that after seperating there parents can not be alone forever. It sounds as though your husband is torn of course. He wants to make her happy because he feels he has "damaged" her in some way because they are not toghether anymore. He wants to make it up to her but in reality he is doing more damage. He needs to realize that he is still her father and not her friend. He needs to stick to his guns when he says something, it will hurt her sooooo much more if he doesn't!!! She needs to hear no and even though the parents are seperated they need to communicate now more than ever and make sure they are on the same page when it comes to her.
I think the same goes for you, maybe back off for a little while, things have gotten a little too heated. She has got your buttons and she knows what hurts but don't let a petty little fight that she caused purposely ruin your marrige, your kids lives and his kids lives. Stay strong and COMMUNICATE with your husband let him know everything that goes on with his daughter and you. There are obviuose reasons you two got married now use those reasons and help each other out. Let your "daughter" know that you love her too, she is not an outsider in your home. She may feel vulnerable in your house because it is not "hers" Make it a family and not families. I hope something I wrote helped, stay strong let us know how it turns out:) |
| posted by Cindy on 05/12/2008 05:30 PM
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| first off if it were me dealing with the whole pain after thing i wouldnt give her anything she was told not to play and decided to play so she needs to suck it up and deal with it. second if she started in with yelling at me id correct her anytime she made a grammer error. i have a little sister who sound about like your step daughter. and if it were me not saying you would or should do this if she going to act like a baby treat her like one. i get so sick when my little sister starts in on the whole im doing it anyway. either treat her like a baby or treat her like an adult. and being treated like an adult comes with all the problems. my little sister kept telling me to trea her like an adult so i started charging her rent if she couldnt get a job she had to do chores if she didnt do chores i didnt cook her dinner or do her laundry or let her use the phone or computer. she eventually caved. i might just be mean but thats the way i see it but i do think you need your husband to start enforcing things to especially with this girl. she sounds kinda spoiled. |
| posted by anneliese on 05/29/2008 12:34 PM
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