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| Parents of Toddlers |
| Public online group |
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I really need some advice on this one, my son is two years old and there is a neighbor girl who we met two weeks ago. The girl is 8 years old and since the first time she spoke to us any time my husband and I are outside eeither in the front (getting yard work done) or in the back playing with our son, she comes over and insists on playing with our son. She has asked to mow the lawn, stay the night, even has come over and rang the door bell at 7:30pm to see if Allen can come out to play. Yesterday we walked in the back yard and she was just sitting in the backyard playing, then when I told her it was time for her to go home because we are getting ready for dinner and she said she was hungry too and that she would just play in our backyard until we were done. Okay so the little girl has told us about her mom and her moms boyfriend and other details of her life. Yesterday when she was in the backyard her mom yelled down the alley for her and all she had to say was she was playing with Allen (a two year old) and mom said fine be home at dark.
The little girl is nice and obviously wants attention and is willing to help out and I do not mind it every once in a while but it can not continue so how do I deal with this. Do I tryto talk her mom, I am just not sure how to handle this. |
| Posted by Kyleen on 05/05/2008 08:17 AM
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| We have a similar situation her, I can't wait to see the reponses. Our girl doesn't go to school on days her mom doesn't feel like taking her... So then I get to enjoy her during the day too. |
| posted by Shanna on 05/05/2008 08:28 AM
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Hi Kyleen,
Yeah it sounds like the little girl is just yelling for attention, I notice the signs because my nephew did the same thing at tha young age and even through teenage years. He's my stepsisters son and my mom and stepdad have had him off and on through out his life, he is now 20. His mom was not a good mother to say the least and though my parents gave him all their attention and then some he still craved more. He would go to peoples house in my parents neighborhood and ask to stay for dinner and barely know them, they usually had a child close to his age that he buddied up with but it would be minutes after he met them that he was inviting himself in, eventually they would call my parents (this happened many times) and my parents were soooo embarrassed but all they could do is say "it's not polite to invite yourself to dinner or their house" or whatever the case was.There were many more situations but we don't have time for all those details. They couldn't really blame him because they knew he wittnessed so much in his young life and was just never taught manners and compassion, they had a lot of trouble with him, he was even sent to a boys ranch for a year, they visited all the time and even told him he could come back to live with them, he needed to change his ways, he is 20 years old and still trying to find his way. I failed to mention his dad left when he was 6 mos old and never tried to contact him, his stepfather adopted him and was never very nice, which I don't really know why he adopted him in the first place, his mom has called him everything in the book and I don't know if she has ever said " I love you" that's all he ever wanted, so I recognize the signs with that little girl she is screaming for attention, we can only imagine what life is like at her house. |
| posted by amy on 05/05/2008 08:32 AM
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| Shanna, that is pretty much the boat that this little girl is in as well. It is not my place to judge the way she is being raised and I feel horrible about her situation but as my husband trys to remind me it is not my responsibility to take care of everyone else's children. I have enough on my plate with a full time job, a toddler,home and husband. I just feel my heart breaking when I hear her say that she is hungry but I know that if I have her over even once to eat it will continue on and money is tight enough as it is and I really just can not get into that situation. |
| posted by Kyleen on 05/05/2008 08:33 AM
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| Gawd,Id be sad.Ibet her mom doesnt care what she does.Sounds like shes too in to her bf to care about the lil girl. |
| posted by Lexi on 05/05/2008 02:02 PM
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| I just can't imagine being that way with the girls. I can't get enough of them as it is.I would be horrified if my kids felt they had to get attention from strangers!! |
| posted by Shanna on 05/05/2008 03:04 PM
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| So I had just walked in the door a little after 4 and was gettin gdinner ready (barely in the house for 10 min) and the little girl came to the door, I sent my husband out to talk to her and to explain that our son was only 2 and that there were other little kids in the neighborhood that were closer to her age and that maybe she should go play with them. She was upset and it breaks our heart but what else are we suppose to do. |
| posted by Kyleen on 05/05/2008 06:05 PM
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| i understand the urge to help her, my mom always helped those kind of kids and why its sad make boundries with her tell her that maybe once a week for an hour she can come over but that your son needs alone time with mommy and daddy!!! thats what i would do and don't feel bad some kids unfortunatlly are starved for attention but that doesn't mean its your responsibility |
| posted by Angelique on 05/05/2008 07:40 PM
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| That really is what I am hoping to do, I have no problem with it every once in a while, and I do want to help but not during the week. things are just too hectic. |
| posted by Kyleen on 05/05/2008 07:48 PM
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Kyleen
this might sound crazy, but I sell children's books and I would like to send the little girl a book, I don't know if that would be inappropriate but sometimes kids just need to know someone cares and it sounds like she doesn't get much attention so probably no help with school work. If you are interested you can give me the info and I will send her a book, we have sticker books with fairies and princesses and many more, I'm not making a sales pitch I just thought maybe if she knew someone cared she would feel better even if it's only for a day, I am the one that posted the story about my nephew who grew up feeling that his mother didn't love him and still thinks that at 20 years old. I can send it to you or her, I am just a mom of a two year old that cannot imagine treating my child the way she must be treated to feel she has to get attention from strangers. Let me know. |
| posted by amy on 05/05/2008 09:19 PM
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| Kyleen, That is so nice of you to think of her. It does sound like she needs some help and love, but not at your family's expense. You can set play dates with her if she will allow it and not cross the boundaries. How tough. I am sorry about your situation and I know it is heartbreaking. God Be with you and your family and this little girl. |
| posted by Lisa on 05/05/2008 09:31 PM
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| Amy, I think that sounds great if you want to add yourself to my friends list I will e-mail you the info through the site. thanks, thanks for all of the advice for the others. |
| posted by Kyleen on 05/06/2008 07:20 AM
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