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| First Time Moms |
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| My 6-month old daughter has separation anxiety. Her doctor said it would start soon, but I never thought it would be this bad. She doesn't want me to leave her sight and she won't even let Daddy hold her. It's killing me that he isn't able to get the time he needs with his daughter. We've tried just letting her cry, but she doesn't calm down...even after 2 hours! I'm a stay-at-home mom, so I'm the only one she sees full-time, but we go to a play class once a week and to see grandparents. She just won't let anyone else hold her besides me. Any advise??? |
| Posted by Michelle on 05/02/2008 10:22 AM
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| My daughter, now 13 months, began her separation anxiety at about that same time. I set up a play pen in whatever room I had to be in at the time where she could see and hear me. She would cry because I didn't hold her. I just kept talking to her and doing what I had to do for a max of 15 minutes and gradually began to lengthen the time. Within 3 months she would play in the play pen by herself in my bedroom while I showered. We are now to 45 minutes with out seeing mommy. After I was finished what I had to do I played with her and did something really special as a reward. AS for Daddy, we made a practice of my husband taking our daughter for 15 minutes each evening and I would take a nice relaxing bath. I would refuse to pick her up or hold her when daddy was home. I also made a big deal when daddy came home. After about a month she would let daddy hold her. Our big issue was/is nap and bed time. With that, we let her cry it out for hours upon hours checking in at 15 minutes intervals and then 30. I wouldn't get or check on her. My husband did. She flat out screams at nap and bed time but by 9 months old it would only last about 15 minutes max. Now at 13 months the max scream time is 5. However about a month ago she reverted back to 2 hours of screaming. We just ignored her because we knew she was fine and just throwing a fit and within two weeks are back to 5 minutes max cry time. It is not easy and you don’t want to feed into the behavior. Good luck and know it will eventually end. |
| posted by DB on 05/02/2008 11:05 AM
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| My daughter is now 13 months old. She has separation anxiety too. I feel like I'm a bad mother. The worst is when I go around people. They tend to pick her up and walk away so I can't see her and she can't see me. It makes me Sooooooo upset. I've tried the playpen and everything else! I'm curious to see WHEN it will end! She started around 6 months too. |
| posted by Kris on 05/03/2008 01:03 PM
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| We're trying the playpen idea and it seems to work sometimes, so that's a start. She does great at bedtime/naps, so we're lucky there. Thanks for the tips! |
| posted by Michelle on 05/05/2008 09:10 AM
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Pray for patience and love...tell people to not take it personally and to be patient as well. My son had it BAD and still does at times. He's 19 months and had it from about 6 months all the way to about 15 months with certain people and places. Now he says hi and bye to just about everyone and even goes to church nursery every week without a single tear! Now, he's doing some nighttime anxiety and "daddy separation anxiety" on the weekends. But, it'll get better. I promise!
My advice and what helped us deal with it was to stay calm when the torrents of tears started. Also, don't fight it or force her to be away from whoever she wants at the moment...unless it's absolutely impossible for them(you) to hold her. Never sneak away when leaving her with sitters and don't let the relatives force hold her...it'll just make it worse. Try to ignore the comments of "she's not socialized enough"...it's crazy-talk! Love her and help her to not be afraid and then just give her time. She'll come around. Her mind has to grow just a bit more to realize the people in her life are okay to go to. |
| posted by Kelly on 05/06/2008 01:36 PM
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