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| Moms who have Husbands/ Boyfriends with Non Traditional Work Schedules |
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I am a sahm with 3 school-age boys. My Husband is a volunteer fire-fighter, paramedic(24hr-48hr shifts)and paramedic/supervisor(on call all the time).
It gets really hard for us to plan anything because we never know when he is needed other places...How about you? |
| Posted by Rebecca on 04/30/2008 11:03 PM
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Welcome Rebecca. Wow, that's quite schedule.
My husband has 3 8 hr days followed by 3 days off followed by 3 16 hour nights and then 3 days off. It's a small fire department (13 guys + chief and part timers) so, whenever there is a call with confirmed smoke, all the guys get called out for OT. They don't HAVE to go but, it's a brotherhood and lack of man power can certainly lead to precarious situations.
We can generally plan things as long, in theory but, obviously, the call volume is unpredictable. We can plan something for a day after my hubbys midnights and he can come home after having a lot of calls and just want to sleep. That;s really hard to explain to a 2 yr old who IDOLIZES his daddy,
That's where I have a hard time. The kids are so little, they can't quite understand.
How did you explain it to your kids at that age? |
| posted by Melissa on 05/01/2008 01:18 PM
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Melissa;
It was not easy to explain it to my last two because they are the closest to him. I just told them that daddy has to go and save someone's life and sometimes even a mommy or daddy's life too.
They grew up being proud of their daddy instead of them resenting him..
Now I have a question for you..
Does your husband take his pager with him even when he is off?
I have a big issue with this, I feel that I should be supportive of his adrenilin rush but I don't...Rebee
We are supposed to go on our Anniversary this weekend and he is taking his phone with him. Last time we went away for a weekend for our anniversary, he took his phone and his work called him...on our anniversary..I just don't think I could handle that again..Rebee |
| posted by Rebecca on 05/01/2008 08:51 PM
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Rebecca,
I COMPLETELY understand about the pager.
First, my husband stopped volunteering with the Volunteer Rescue Association when he got hired full time at the FD because it's a small union department and there's this whole hiring thing going etc . . . The Rescue, which responds in town and to neighboring towns was the reason he was getting called out ALL THE TIME, dinner, bedtime etc . . . and I hated it. I hated it because the Rescue Assoc. really took my husband for granted for the latter half of the TEN years he was an active member. He used to put himself on call for them every friday night. What 20 something single guy (before me) wants to sit home waiting for a pager every friday night! Then he would get yelled at for not responding during the times when he wasn't scheduled. ( I could go on...)
Now that he is only full time at the FD, knock on wood, he doesn't get called out that often and it's his CHOICE to go. He generally does because they need the manpower if it's a working structure fire.
He generally carries his pager when we are in town. Other than that, not so much. If it's a special occasion, all I have to do is get a drink in him (no one should ever respond to a life threatening situation with alcohol in their system!) We don't drink a lot but, a glass of wine to celebrate an anniversary works like charm. Honestly though, my husband knows better than to carry his pager to an anniversary dinner. His dad was a cop who missed a lot of family dinners and my hubby knows first hand what it feels like to have daddy run out the door.
I don't think I understand though. With your hubby as a medic supv, how exactly is he on call 24/7? Does anyone else share the responsibility? What happens if he goes on vacation? Does he get paid more per call out? Can someone else cover for him during your anniversary dinner?
That must be pretty frustrating. It;s always so great to be able to proudly tell people what your husband does for a living but, sometimes, there's a little bit of a tradeoff. This is why I am so happy about the popularity of this group. It's nice to be able to vent ;)!
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| posted by Melissa on 05/01/2008 11:07 PM
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Melissa;
My husband gets paid salary so it's whenever he is needed at any hour of the day on his days off.
They did call him on our anniversary weekend but even he went off on the person. He also asked them if he was in any position to come back and help with the problem..They didn't call again because he left his phone in the room.
There are ways to get around the calls..
It is harder for my boys to spend time with him because he is so out of energy when he is home... |
| posted by Rebecca on 05/31/2008 08:49 PM
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| Wow, that must be tough. I am glad he stood up to them though. My husband gets a yearly salary broken down into hourly so, he gets OT when he works outside of his shift. I am really surprised that there isn;'t a way for your hubby to designate a 2nd in command. |
| posted by Melissa on 06/01/2008 01:46 PM
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