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| Homeschooling Parents |
| Public online group |
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For those of you who have felt like you are on center stage as soon as you tell some one you home school. Do you ever feel like kicking your self for saying you home school? I use to feel proud of my self for home schooling, but I am finding my self wanting to hide it from others more and more because a lot of the time I get a down poor of questions and opinions that suggest I am messing up as a parent by home schooling. I try to keep in mind when I answer their questions and listen to their opinions that they are just unaware of how home schooling works and that I shouldn't feel offended by them in any way. I have found that those who applaud me for home schooling and catch on to how smart my son is are the intelligent and more open minded people.
In prairie days most children were taught at home. Over time it became more conmen for children to be taught in schools. People would go to college to get their degrees in teaching. So why did this cause most people to loose trust that parents are capable of teaching their children at home and think that only those who are certified to teach can teach our children.
what if we were the ones questioning the parent of the public schooled child as if to suggest their Childs teacher is not capable of teaching them as well as a parent is?
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| Posted by lisa s on 04/20/2008 10:01 PM
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Oh this use to drive me crazy when I first started homeschooling 6 years ago.. I have found that public school families feel Homeschoolers as a threat. We make those families feel guilty by the choices we make. They are playing off from their own guilt. Everybody knows that the public school system-even if you are in a good district is the pits. But many choose to put up with it because it is all they have ever known. Fear sets in and to make themselves feel better they try to treat the homeschooler feel bad in the process. Sometimes I wonder if they even aware of how they make others feel? You have to be able to seperate their thoughts from why you chose to homeschool in the beginining. Homeschooling is a lifestyle and it isn't for everybody. In the last 4 years I have really turned myself around on how I handle others. I have a very carefree attitude about it. I am always positive by saying, "We homeschool" When the comments arrise, I again with a positive light say, "It works great for our family, but I realize it isn't for everyone." It stops all the cruel comments that normally could transpire from this type of conversation. It puts us on a page that makes everybody feel ok about their choices and we can still stand to be around each other. The neat thing is - the more time they spend around me and my kiddos is when they see the real difference. Everybody has a judgement day- I try not to judge others for their choices simply because I don't like to be judged either. But also it is hard to be an example to others if we spend most of our time trying to defend our choices. Your children are the best example of why you homeschool. It is the opportunity to give something back to this world and make a difference - instead of the norm - like being a follower.
Ok I have rambled enough- hope that has helped some..
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| posted by carole on 04/21/2008 08:56 AM
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Carole,
You have made a very good observation and I am sure what you are saying is true. Please for give me if I boar you with the details, but I am still feeling very bothered by what I had to put up with yesterday.
A woman who I had met a while back at a play ground in some apartments where I live had came out with her son. I really dreaded seeing the woman again because the last time I saw her she was trying to tell me how I should correct my own child as if she were super nanny on TV. to me it is no ones place to correct your child, but you and unless you see some one being abusive to their child you have no right to step in and tell some one how to handle their own child. I don't like confrontation and don't want to cause my son to loose a friend just because I don't like his mother. So I didn't say any thing and just blew it off.
So any way while our children were playing yesterday she started correcting my child for something her child was doing first and jumping in when I would correct my son for something. She asked me if I was still doing that teaching thing referring to home schooling I said yes. Then she started asking what grade my son is in I said 2cond.and she started trying to argue with me by saying no he's in the first grade by age. I did not feed into her agruementive nature instead I stayed quite and just listened. Next she asked how do you know what grade he is in I explained to her that most parents who home school take their child for government testing. She asked if I have I said not yet. then she went on to ask well then how do you know what grade he is in I responded with oh yes I see your point, but did not feel I needed to justify how I know my child is on a second grade level to some one who was obviously trying to win an argument she felt was necessary to have with me. Latter I passively mentiond my son was doing different levels of work, but mostly does second grade level work.
I am glade my husband wasn't there. He loves putting people like her in their place. I am not the kind of person who can with out feeling bad for possibly hurting some one else’s feelings. I haven't told my husband any of the details for fear he might say something to her if we ever cross paths again.
As our children went on playing she started bragging about how well her son was doing in school. I felt sorry for her after realizing this whole time she was only trying to make her self feel better than me. I don't understand the consept behind peoples' motives for doing that sort of thing. If I ever have to see this person again I don't think I will be able to tolerate her immaturity and will have to walk away.
I have to deal with this kind of personality trait enough when I am around my mother in law who is just as negative about us home schooling and brags about her grand daughters and their dad in such away it is often times an insult towards my husband and son because she always adds little stories of how terrible my husband was as a child and how our son reminds her of him.
Before leaving the play ground the woman started naming a list of reasons why home schooling is a bad thing to her. I gave no response other then putting my hand on my chin saying mm right mm ok well we’ll see you latter. This person was truly nuts with her insecurity.
Any way dealing with some one like this was really irritating!!!!!
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| posted by lisa s on 04/21/2008 12:28 PM
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| whoops I ment to say I don't understand the reasoning behind peoples' motives for doing that sort of thing. Nor can i relate to it. My head is really in the clouds today I think I will go back to bed until the fog clears. |
| posted by lisa s on 04/21/2008 12:41 PM
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| Honestly it really doesn't bother me any more either. Usually if someone tries to tell me something like that I will just say something like. Yeah I know it isn't for everyone. It works for us though. That usually just makes them stop because they have nothing else they can say to that. More times then not I have also found that they are more likely curious then anything else. After I have made the comment of it not being for everyone that usually seems to put them at ease and then they ask genuine questions and things are better. Most (not all of course) I find they aren't really meaning to be mean with their questions. It's usually because they really have no idea what homeschooling is or how it works so they just assume and then ask questions. I remember I used to have misconception of homeschooling too before we decided on it. I just try and remember that when I get questions. Fortunately I haven't had too many really rude people. |
| posted by Jody on 04/21/2008 02:31 PM
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| Fortunately, where I live I get "gee, I wish I could do that" or "I could never do that, I don't have the patience" more than the other. Occasionally I get a comment about socialization and when I chuckle and reveal that why I took my children OUT of public school, that usually gives them the message that I'm on top of things and a proactive problem solver. |
| posted by Kelly on 04/26/2008 01:51 PM
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| OR that I'm a crazy loon and not to be messed with - which might be closer to the truth! |
| posted by Kelly on 04/26/2008 01:52 PM
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| I have had really good responses regarding homeschooling my kids. Most say its great I can do that, or ask a lot of questions. Or I get, my neighbour or my daug and so on, homeschools. Those who don't agree (in laws) don't say anything about. They feel I shelter my kids. If I don't who will. I want them prepared for the world not just throw them to the wolves and see how they turn out. |
| posted by Bev on 05/07/2008 02:31 PM
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| I totally agree with you, Bev. I think we have so much more to offer our children when they are homeschooled. More education, more one on one, more positive socialization and definitely a better quality of self-esteem. My kindergatener has been pushed down so much this year that I really have to build her self esteem. She is so excited to be homeschooled next year. I understand the first year is the most challenging and having a one year old as well I am sure we will meet our challenges. That's why I rely on this support group so much. I was told to read a book about homeschooling and younger sibling's, does any one have any recommendations? |
| posted by Mickey on 05/07/2008 03:23 PM
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