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| I so know what you mean. I am praying about starting a group at my church, but we have a fairly small church, so There arent a whole lot for this. and most work, I use to work, but I dont want to put my daughter in daycare,so I am trying toostick it out,. Last friday I called my sis, almost in tears, my husband worksnights, and asked her are we going out to eat tonight, she was getting home late, I said well lets go when you get home I will buy, because if I dont get out of the house I am going to pull my hair out. My daughter is a good kid, but when you are stuck at homeit makes thoings worse. |
| posted by Natasha on 04/09/2008 10:35 AM
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| I was starting to go crazy but I just started scrapbooking and that helps cut the monotany.(sp)I am so gonna get a job when Lexi starts preschool!My hubby said that in 1 more yr he may go to 1rst shift.I will def get a pt job then! |
| posted by Lexi on 04/09/2008 11:52 AM
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| Stay strong Crystal!! Most of us SAHM's have gone through something similar, especially those of us who live in the north and days go by when we have no sunshine:-) I found out that the "darkness" was actually making it worse. I started taking Vitamin D and it definantely made a difference. Do you have any friends near you that maybe you can go have a girls night at the movies or something at night after your kids are sleeping? I tuck my kids in, kiss my husband and head to the movies ................we all need breaks!! |
| posted by marcie on 04/09/2008 05:23 PM
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| Amen to that Marcie! Even the best mothers need to be just a girl once in a while. I try to go do the shopping or drive to the gas station to pick up and replace the empty milk by myself every now and then. I jam the radio to my music sing loud and dance as hard as I can just to relieve my pressure. I know people probably stare but hey, my world is my kids and my kids are my world and I need a crazy moment every now and then. So, yes I think we all feel your pain, just make the most of what you have while you have it cause they don't stay this little forever. Honey, believe me I do feel your pain. My kids are 5 and 1&1/2, they've only been away from me 3 times in a year and that was my anniversary, a wedding, and christmas shopping for them. May I add I have become a jogging pants, ponytail wearin mama from a town with a population of like 500 and the farmland far out weights the people. So, crazy is only the beginning. I guess ya just hang in there and take even the smallest minute and make it YOURS, whatever it may be. |
| posted by Jessica on 04/09/2008 05:57 PM
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| I know what your going through, I went through that not to long ago. The hardest part for me was not having any friends all of mine quite talking to me when i got preg. Just stay strong the feeling will pass, What helped me was just getting out for a few hours even if i just drove around. I too live in a small town, so i would drive to clear my head an have some me time, it really did help alot. I'll be praying for you an if you need to talk just send my email. Good luck. |
| posted by on 04/09/2008 06:40 PM
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| It's nice to read that all moms feel that way sometimes. I completely relate and agree. Another problem I have is feeling like a failure as a wife while being a SAHM. My husband supports me staying home, but I feel because I am home during the days, I need to have the house always clean and dinner always ready, which rarely happens. It is amazing how busy you can stay even when not working. How is it you can feel 2 completely different emotions (regarding the boredom from being stuck at home, and the busy-ness of never getting everything done) at the same time? Ugh. |
| posted by Lauren on 04/09/2008 09:22 PM
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| I feel the same way. |
| posted by on 04/09/2008 10:01 PM
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| Hi, not to long ago I went through the same thing, I'm still kinda depressed now but not like I was. My fiance is in the military when he got home from Iraq I moved to NC from MI and I knew nobody there, it was so depressing because he worked all the time we had one car so me and my son were home all day everyday, we just recently moved to KY and it seems to be a little better, I still dont have any friends here and stuff but Im trying, I too want to get a job but I dont want to put my son in daycare. If I get a chance to go to the store down the street to get milk I go just to get time for myself. I used to be this fun, outgoing, party girl, but after I got pregnant most of my friends quit talking to me, and now my son is my life I wouldnt change it for the world, but you hear about other girls who are out havin fun and havin a life, and you just sit home with your kids. It will get better I promise, when the weather gets better too you will be much happier!! |
| posted by Courtney on 04/10/2008 10:12 AM
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| Crystal, what your feeling happens to almost all SAHMS. Finding youself again is the key. Atleast is was for me. Find something that makes you happy. Keeping the house clean is not the most important thing. But when you find something that makes you feel whole again then stuff like cleaning and doing everyday stuff won't feel like a big deal. A part time job might help. even just to get away for a day. Hang in there girl. |
| posted by BELINDA on 04/10/2008 11:58 AM
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And I thought I had the market cornered on this feeling....LOL
I have only recently (thanks to this site) started to come out of my funk. My anxiety level is still pretty high-- I have never not worked, so staying home has been an extreme challenge. We made sacrifices- like selling the second car- which further made me feel isolated. My advice to you is to just hang out at local playgrounds etc and be brave by striking up a conversation with another mom. She is probably feeling the same way you are!! |
| posted by on 04/29/2008 12:04 PM
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| Yes like someone else said, we all as SAHM feel this way at times. What helped me out is taking my daughter to the library once a week for storytime, there are alot of SAHM to chat with, and even set up a playdate at the park. I do feel like I need to work so I am applying for a part time job at a preschool so i get out of the houe and my daughter has more social time with other kids her age. But try and take some time alone in the evening, you will be amazed how nice it is to get in the car and jam to the music and then walk around a store and just window shop. We as mothers do need a break once in awhile, cleaning all the time is very tiresome and boring. good luck. Check out meetup.com for other moms in our area!!! |
| posted by charise on 04/29/2008 02:19 PM
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WOW! Does reading all these posts make me feel better!
I have been going through quite a rough patch in April. My 2yr old, 7 mo old and hubby got sick the first week in April. Then, my hubby had to work on my bday (no big deal, i didn't want him to waste the day off) so my parents took the kids and me out to eat. My son hadn't napped and acted up the whole time and my daughter is teething and wouldn't stop crying. It was a disaster. Then, because of my daughter's teething, she regressed and is no longer sleeping through the night, sometimes I am awake with her for 3hrs at a pop. Then, my son decides he doesn't want to take his naps anymore. Then, my hubby and I got food poisoning from bad hamburger meat. Then, what we thought were allergies in the house turns out to be a cold for the whole family but me again! So, now my daughter has a cold, she's teething and she has taken to biting my nipples when she tries to nurse. And, since I am nursing exclusively and my daughter has separation issues, my hubby can't really help much with her. I haven't had a break since oh, I don't know, when she was maybe two months.
That has been my APRIL. I love my family beyond belief but, sometimes just a half hour break would be so welcome. There are days I feel like I am just at my breaking point.
I have been addicted to this site lately, that really helps I also talk to the moms at my son's gymnastics and even a 45 minute chat helps.
Now that the weather is breaking, my hubby and I also have "porch parties." We get the kids to sleep and our adult, childless, friends, come over and we sit on the porch (which is at least outside, so I am kinda out). We have the baby monitors outside with us but, other than that, it's a nice time. We talk about not kid things. We stay up a little later but, it's so worth it!
Okay, thanks so much for providing me a nice opportunity to really vent about this wretched month!
You gals are really great! |
| posted by Melissa on 04/29/2008 05:05 PM
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Hi Crystal,
Yes, I do know exactly where you are coming from. I too am a stay at home mom and I take care of my 2 year old son who has microcephaly which is a rare neurological disorder. Basically his brain stopped developing therefore giving him a smaller head.
I had always thought that I would have the perfect life. . .a "normal" child who would grow up and go to school and some day get married and have kids of their own etc. But when I was told at 8 months into my pregnancy that I should terminate my son, I just about died. Doctors diagnosed him with microcephaly and told me that because his brain was underdeveloped, he would most likely not survive birth and if he did he would be severely disabled. It is a really long story, but I was horrified and that is when my life turned upside down.
My husband and I decided to go ahead with the birth and my son was not supposed to make it than God would make that decision. But as you can tell he is still here. He was born healthy for the most part. He does have some issues, but it is nothing like what they told me, thank god!!!! But still, your child is not "normal" and that sat hard with me. I was basically feeling sorry for myself, in a round about way. But most of all, I was afraid and I felt alone. No one understood what i was dealing with. . .they would all try and give me advice on my child, yet they knew nothing about what he was going through or what he was diagnosed with. My husband is a police officer who was working under cover at the time so he was never home. I was dealing with recovering from a csection and taking care of a child that I really knew nothing about. It was horrifying and very isolating.
I went and found therapy for myself and she diagnosed me with clinical depression and put me on meds as well. I do believe they helped, although, honestly I am not taking them on a totally regular basis. I am trying to deal with life as I am going to have to deal with life and my situations for the rest of my life. I just needed alittle help adjusting.
But people get jealous of me because I am a stay at home mom and probably think that I have got it made. What a joke! Sometimes, I think I would be much better off back at work. I would at least have adult interaction!! But my son would suffer and I dont want to do that. I feel blessed to be at home with him. I wouldnt change that for the world no matter how alone I felt.
I would love to talk more to you about everything. Please feel free to email me personally at rnrhudson@cox.net if you feel like it. I would also exchange numbers if you would like to talk in person. I know when we get in situations like these, it really helps to know that someone else is out there who understands you. By the way, where do you live? I am in South Orange County, California and I am 35 years old.
Hope to hear from you soon. Keep your head up!!!
Take care,
Robin Hudson |
| posted by Robin on 04/29/2008 06:34 PM
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