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| New Zealanders Raising Kids in America |
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Hi Im Anna, im 27, married to US military serviceman, we are living in Oklahoma, and have two boys, Angus 3 and Phoenix 7.
Im happy to have found this group via Chris' post in the yahoo group kiwis in America.
i will just read past messages and hopefully join in the discussions.
Cheers. |
| Posted by Anna on 04/05/2008 01:35 PM
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Hi Anna,
I'm living in Michigan, my husband was in the US Army, we were in Texas until he was medically discharged.
We have two small girls, Natalie is 4 and Emily is 2.
I'm from Auckland where are you from??
Trudy |
| posted by Trudy on 04/05/2008 01:45 PM
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Hi trudy,
Chris is Army now (he hates it) but is also a former Marine of 10years (they are frigging hard core and the army just doesnt comparein his opinion, but wanted to reenlist but due to his age was having difficulty getting back in the marine corps).
Im adjusting to military life, he works 12 hour days 12 on 2 off.
Its hard. Also he has alot of aches and pains and takes bipolar meds and i have found that the Drs here just dont want to deal with the soldiers, they tell them to go away, one his colleagues was turned away by the red lag clinic so he went off post and found out he had pnuemonia!! Crazy. I havent really made any friends out of any of the wives, have met 2 one totally ignored me to my face, and another i got friendly with but started to use me all the time to watch her children, and then started hitting on chris my husband infront of me. Arrgh.
Anyway, Im originally from Pukekohe, but my heart belongs to Christchurch where i lived for many years.
I have lived in Missouri, yuck, and have stayed in vegas, oh yeh!, and Waialua honolulu hawaii, hell yeh.
I found Hawaii similar to home, i loved the people and the culture. My mother father and sister in law all live there.
I miss Steak and Cheese pies, real cheese, the cheese here sucks. I miss milo, and Robert Harris coffee and Indian food.
Never thought id miss Indian food but yep i do.
Would love to live somewhere like chicago or boston where ive heard theres plenaty of Indian food. |
| posted by Anna on 04/05/2008 02:07 PM
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hey anna,
funny you mention Chicago, we live a few hours from there, actually we're about the same distance to both Chicago and Detroit...
we go to both quite a bit, Canada is sooo close... :)
My husband now works for the police and fire here, he's also a county sheriff....he typically works 16 hour shifts five days a week, so I know how the long days are....
the life in the military is tough, the people are odd I can agree with you there, but I've actually found poeple generally are harder to get to know here espcially in teh mid west! It's all about roots, and high school!!! the drama i hear about, but I just threw myself into church activies when I could and have found a great MOMS group, but then that took me five years to where I was comfortable to call someone up for coffee..
I miss cafes, Auckland was full of them!
So Pukekohe huh? my sister has in laws there, and Christchurch, my husbands dad was stationed there with the navy (how we met)...
nice talking to you!
trudy
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| posted by Trudy on 04/05/2008 04:01 PM
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Welcome Anna! It's great that people are starting to join the group, I was starting to get lonely here! Raewyn's hubby is ex-military too, so she has something in common with you and Trudy.
I miss real cheese too! Cheddar cheese is NOT meant to be orange in colour as far as I'm concerned!
Chris |
| posted by Chris on 04/05/2008 04:26 PM
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Aloha Anna,
I'm Raewyn and have lived in America nearly 16 years. May 5th is my anniversary for moving to the US. I lived in Hawaii for almost 6 years and worked at Kuakini Hospital. I met my hubby in Hi. He was an officer in the military until he got out when we were living in Colorado Springs. I did not like the military life for the short time I was connected to it but now live in a lovely community that is predominantly military and I have wonderful military friends. It is hard to navigate the military system and heirachy. As with Trudy's comment, I agree it is hard to relate to the Americans sometimes because our youth experiences are so different. the whole, cheerleader, football, prom, graduation, reunion stuff that gels people together. My hubby and I isolated this as a major conflict in our relationship along with the fact that he lives so much in the past with reminiscing about all the high school and college stuff.
Although I have never lived int the Midwest, my hubby and his family are from Indianapolis and I see the small mindedness and lack of cultural diversity very evident.
Sorry you have had some bad medical experiences for your hubby. Does he go to military facilities or private hospitals and clinics?
so I saw your query in your profile about keeping your NZ heritage. Personally for me, it did not take long before I really preferred the American way of life. I go back to NZ and cringe. When I first arrived here in the US I was always saying..we do it like this in NZ but now it's the other way around. Sadly, I feel a foreigner when I return to NZ and am much more comfortable here but also know that as long as I have an accent, will always be a foreigner here too. I'm displaced:) At 7 years old, I can't imagine your son keeping his NZ accent too long, especially with the Okie influence. I've lived all over the US and have managed to maintain mine despite the influences. I must say that when I worked with patients everyday, I really had to slow down and make myself be understood when I spoke.
My mum sends over all NZ books for us to read so that has been fabulous to introduce my girls to my NZ culture. Might I recommend Lynley Dodds books. Hairy Maclarey etc. Heard of them?
Also they regularly get to taste banana lollies, pineapple lumps, and Freddo Frogs.
So what took you to HI? I did not understand if that was your in laws in Hawaii or both yours and your hubbys family. How long were you there? Did you meet your hubby there?
Me and my hubby met in the Aloha Hash house Harriers Club. Heard of it? My fav places were Mooses and Dukes Bar (Sunday afternoon). I lived on Ward Avenue, Punchbowl and Ala Moana Blvd opposite the Yacht club. Life was good. 6 yearsfull of the most wonderful memories imaginable. But actually, my fav place to live so far was Sand Diego.
So where do you think you'll get stationed next? |
| posted by Raewyn on 04/05/2008 09:20 PM
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Hey Raewyn,
I have to agree with you about adapting to the American way of life - I feel the same way. NZ life feels like such a distant memory to me now, I feel out of place when I go there, however I still feel slightly out of place here too, so I completely understand what you're saying. I've lost most of my Kiwi accent now, and Barak's sad about that! I used to have to fake an American accent when dealing with voice-activated automated phone systems - otherwise that darned computerized voice would keep telling me "I'm sorry, I didn't understand what you said ..."!
I got Mum to send over Lynley Dodd stories for Emma too! When she's older, I'd love her to read Margaret Mahy, and Maurice Gee books too.
I loved Duke's Bar too - did you ever have their Hula Pie? Wow, that was good!
As you know, Barak and I first met face to face in Hawaii, and then returned there to get married. We used to sit on the terrace at the Royal Hawaiian sipping Blue Hawaiis and Mai Tais! We had dinner at Orchids on our wedding day, did you ever go there? Fond memories - we'd love to go back. |
| posted by Chris on 04/06/2008 11:51 AM
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Hey everyone thanks for the big welcome.
i want to reply to everyone im going to try my hardest to remeber everythging but may have to post a few messages so i can go back and re read to check i answered everyone.
I met my husband online we chatted for awhile, i was living in Pukekohe with my mum, son and two sisters. Chris (my hubby) was recently honorably discharged from the marine corps and living with his parents in hawaii i think it was Waimea back then. He flew to NZ to come visit me, at that time i wasnt completely taken with him but open to new experiences always. He was smitten with me right away, but having been single for over 2 years wasnt ready to be with a guy 24/7 so things were rocky when he was here for those 2 weeks, but towards the end of his trip i really grew to like him alot, he was very much a gentleman, and i had never been treated like that by kiwi guys, so we agreed to keep talking online and on the phone when he went home, he came back a few months later and we got engaged not long before he had to return as his visa waiver was due to expire, then another few weeks later he came back and we got married, had a son and lived in Nz for a year and half before we moved to the states. We entered the country in LA visited his family friend there then travelled to Vegas where his parents were now living his dad having been stationed there.We then did a roadtrip out to missouri to live on my husbands grandmothers land, She was very nice to start off with, but when she realised that my being wiccan was not a joke, she became very anti towards us, and being that the town we lived in was all white all christian and very prejudiced and only 1500 people, life became very difficult for us there, we got rude service at local stores etc, so we decided to move back to NZ for awhile and finish up my immigration paperwork. We lived in Chch for a year and chris flew back to Hawaii to where his dad had been stationed again to re enlist in the military. Myself and the boys went out to Hawaii for christmas, Chris' parents shouted us a stay at the Hale Koa (military hotel) on the beachfront of Waikiki- It was so beautiful. Sadly it was only for one night. But we stayed with his parents in Waialua and it was just as good, better i think than Waikiki as the beaches are so much more natural with no tourists and not at all crowded, more kiwi like, the beach we would go to was a local hideaway so nice. I loved the people there as they didnt stare at me wierd due to my accent and they know alot about NZ and of course come across alot of kiwis, esp maoris.On our flight back to Nz i saw one of the Maori party MPs cant remember his name, he talked to me and was very nice. So upon returning to NZ myself and my boys stayed with friends in Pukekohe for 7 months until our immigration was finalised and we arrived here in OK August last year, we of course spent another few days in Hawaii en-route.
So that is how i came to be married to my American hunk and living in OK.-hope that wasnt too much info or too drawn out.
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| posted by Anna on 04/06/2008 04:50 PM
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I miss cafes too, Chch has alot also, I miss real Lattes, not the iced crapolas they serve here. the closet i have come to one is at olive garden a caffe latte. Close but not as good as a kiwi cafe or bakery one.
Im a marmite fanatic so i was sure to bring a big jar with me, i have been very frugal with it, and there is still alot left, although one morning i came downstairs to find my 3 year old covered in it and scooping it out of the jar, i cried, sad i know, and i scrapped as much as i could back into the jar.
I am abig huge Hairy Maclairy fan! i have one of the books on cd and some others in paper form too. My friends gave my 3 yearold a little all blacks outfit before we left soooo cute, and my aunt bought the boys each kiwi soft toys that make the chirping noise too. Someone gave my oldest a book about wetas, which just fascinates both of them, and someone else gave my oldest a chapter book full of storys about kiwi boys, i cant remeber what the title of the book is though, and of course i have a margaret mahy compliation book from when i was a girl too.
When i was a girl there was a book i loved called the "half men of O" by Maurice Gee, I would love to buy that one day, i have looked for it on amazon and its about $40USD, so im going to have save for that as i cant justify spending that much on a book on a whim. |
| posted by Anna on 04/06/2008 05:00 PM
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I must admit there are so many positvies about living here in the States, central heat and air being one. So much variety in the stores, my 3 year old Angus loves walmart. I love hobby lobby. I love the prices of shoes etc, alot of things seem so much more affordable here.
People love my accent but always seem to think im british, which gets annoying, i mean i would clap for joy if just one person thought i was an aussie, thats so much closer to kiwi than british. Many comment they would love to go to NZ. my husband always says well its like the 1950s there in regards to housing and food. Hes a dork.
I miss how easy Chch was to get around if you dont drive (ie me) its a bit difficult to walk around here and the buses are soooo slow.
I hate talking on the phoen to any businesses, ive had customer servie people for sprint hang up on me more than once cos they reckoned they just couldnt understand me.
anyway i must go, but will be back to add more later.
Anna. |
| posted by Anna on 04/06/2008 05:09 PM
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Hi Anna,
Emma has a kiwi toy that chirps to, and she loves it!
I have to say, customer service sucks in some parts of this country. In Atlanta I found good customer service was non-existent - people were so rude! In California, it's a different story. I love living in California because I don't feel like a freak any more, no-one cares that I have an accent, and if they do comment on it, it's because they have visited NZ or would love to go there and they want to know more.
I met my hubby over the internet, and we were pen-pals for 3 years before we even considered getting romantic. We met in Hawaii to see in the millenium, and that was the first time we had met face-to-face, although we had chatted on the phone for 5 months before that trip and knew we were in love.
I flew to Atlanta (where Barak was living at the time) and spent about 6 weeks with him around Easter in 2000 to make sure we weren't making any rash decisions and we got engaged at the end of that trip. We went through the K-1 fiancee visa process, and I moved to America in October of 2000, and we returned to Hawaii to get married.. I got my American citizenship about 3 years ago.
It's always nice to hear when long-distance relationships work out!
Chris |
| posted by Chris on 04/06/2008 07:13 PM
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Hi, Ok, are you girls ready for my secret? I met my hubbie online too. I'm not ashamed of it, but somehow over the years its just been easier to say "we met in a pub" and that story has stuck. I was living in Boston as a student and I could no longer stand the American dating rules (they'd call in 4 days if they were interested and then we'd have to go through a period of pre-dating ... whats with that rubbish anyway?) so when an Irishman came along and was refreshingly open about his affections and wanting to hang out.. I fell head over heels.
Karl's been in the US for 14 years and so now has a passport... we married on the beach in San Francisco (half way between NZ and Ireland) and now have a little 15month old Liam (the first true American in the families). Ok, another secret reveled while I'm at it ... (I'm loving this underground Kiwichick society) .. we were married for a year and a half before the wedding that everyone else attended. It just seemed easier to keep the cityhall visit under wraps and no one questioned my visa status anyway. We now have two wedding anniversaries and he jokes that as his second wife I'm much cooler than his first!
Phew, two weights off my shoulders and its not even 9am on a Monday morning!
Cheers |
| posted by Lucy on 04/07/2008 11:50 AM
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Lucy your message made me chuckle, so cute and sweet that your big secrets are so beautiful and romantic.
You know we never get an adverse reaction when we tell people we met online, and its actually becoming more and more common, and it opens up a line of discussion too as most people have a story about someone they talked to or met online or know of someone else who is dating someone off the net.
I think people are more brutally honest about themselves and what they want from others via a medium like the internet or text messaging, maybe its because its easier to say certain things without being face to face and not having to see or experience their reaction in close proximity.
Its more "im going to be me and if you dont like well then easy come easy go", dont you think?
Anyhow i must be off to spend some time with Chris while he is actually at home with what little time off he does get.
Hope your day/evening is full of sunshine and happiness. |
| posted by Anna on 04/07/2008 07:52 PM
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I tell people (mostly my patients because they always ask how I got to such and such a place) that I was a mail order bride! Funny thing is that I've found that because I have an accent, people believe anything I say. I used to have fun with that when I was single and living in Hawaii. I had every occupation known to man, every sexual orientation and had been to every country in the world. Oh the good old days!!
I met my husband at the Six Pack, 10K. Run a a mile, drink a beer, run a mile, drink a beer for 6 miles. I don't drink beer (another reason why I said I got kicked out of NZ) so beat him to the finish by miles!!
Not such a romantic story but in all reality, we met while running up Diamond Head. |
| posted by Raewyn on 04/07/2008 08:03 PM
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Raewyn - I'm shocked! I never knew these things about you! (Giggle!) :)
I used to be a little embarrassed about meeting Barak online, but we really were just penfriends in the beginning and we never thought we would ever meet face to face ... that's why we shared secrets with each other that we now regret telling!
My Mum sent a wedding photo of us in to the NZ Woman's Weekly for the wedding pages, and she mentioned we had met online. Someone from the magazine passed our story on to a reporter from The Listener who was writing a story on internet romance, so we ended up being featured in that. I guess there was no hiding how we met at that point!
I'm loving being a part of the underground Kiwi chick society too, this group is turning out exactly as I hoped it would! Hey, maybe The Underground Kiwi Chick Society would have been a better name for the group! |
| posted by Chris on 04/07/2008 11:24 PM
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