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| Raising Boys |
| Public online group |
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Hello-
My name is Tracy and I am new to the sight and I would love some advice on my three year old or to hear that there are others that kids that behave the same.
He can be very sweet and loving and helpful but if something doesn't fit together like he thinks it should or work the way he thinks it should he screams and throws it down. If he doesn't get his way he usually hits or kicks, we have been working on that with time outs and he is getting better with the hitting and kicking.
He has an older brother that has quite a few friends in the neighborhood that come over to play and for the most part they play well together, they are between 6-7 years old. But sometimes he will think they have his toy and just throw a screaming fit. I try to only intervene when it doesn't calm down after a few minutes and I try to not always let the little one get what he is screaming for.
He is well known for his tantrums and I don't know what to do to make it better. Has anyone had this problem and did their little one grow out of it????
Thanks for you help |
| Posted by Tracy on 04/01/2008 10:38 PM
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Hi Tracy,
This sounds exactly like my situation! My daughter just turned 7 and my son is 4. He's always had a temper when things don't go his way. When he was two, everyone jumped to the rescue. When he was three, his temper got worse because he wanted to do it himself, expected to do it as well as everyone else, and wanted instant results! He was always frustrated! He would get so mad , throw whatever he was trying to work on and scream at the top of his lungs(I think I hear my mother saying "that sounds like someone I know!"). If I tried to help him, he would scream louder. It got so bad that I found that I didn't want to teach him new things because I got tired of being yelled at. I felt like he was always in the time out chair. Now that he's 4 and a half, I feel like I am better able to reason with him. He starts kindergarten in September (He's been going to preschool 2 days a week) and I am concerned about his ability to listen to teachers and myself so that he can learn and grow. I am going to discuss all this with his pediatrician next week. Thanks for reading this! |
| posted by elaine on 04/02/2008 09:39 AM
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Hi! My name is Sheryl. I have a 9 year old that has acted like that in the past. I can tell you that I tried EVERYTHING with my son! I didn't think things would ever get better. But they did eventually! My son has a temper that doesn't stop. This is what I tried. I sat with both of my kids and we made the "House Rules" together. Then I taped it to the wall. That helped! My son needed a visual. Even if he couldn't read he knew what it said. The next thing I tried was not to hit back. (Which it doesn't sound like you do that anyway). I spanked my son when he hit me or kicked me. He then looked at me and said, "Mom, you just broke rule # 1." He was right. So from then on I use a time out system. I also found that EVERY time my son acted out he got punished. Consistancy!! That helped! I then decided to have a punishment system. I started with the timeouts and ended with going to bed early. Of course their were other things in between. I also had a reward system. I use "Mommy Bucks" When my boys are good or help out or do something extra special they get a mommy buck. Then they can use their bucks to spend in Mommy's store. Which I have several things that I use. They start small and get bigger with the amount of mommy bucks that they have. Also with that. If they are misbehaving they can loose a mommy buck. I found this works GREAT! It is something that they have in hand. Plus it teaches them how to save money. (This was recommended by a therapist.) Now that my son is older we still do the mommy bucks. And when he acts out I have him go to his room and "cool down" and then we talk about it.
I don't know if any of this is helpful.
I also know how frusterating this can be as a parent! I spent many nights crying because I was so frusterated! I don't do that any more. So there is hope!
Sheryl |
| posted by Sheryl on 04/02/2008 09:42 AM
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