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| Stay at Home Moms |
| Public online group |
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| Does anyone else worry about sounding like they are bragging, but they are just proud of their kids? I used to worry about it alot when my oldest was little becaue where I worked there were two other women whose daughters were one and three months older than her, but she was doing things way earlier than them. I didn't want to sound like I was bragging, so I wouldn't always mention things that I was very proud of. She is also the same age as my best friend's son and she is reading, can actually read upside down, do math among lots of other things that he can't do yet. Also, my second daughter is 28 months and my son will be a year in 2 days. My nephew is going to be two in June, and I don't want to make my sister feel bad, especially since my nephew was a premie, but I am proud of what my kids can do. For example, my two year old speaks some spanish, counts up to eleven, knows her colours and shapes but my nephew barely seems to talk or communicate past pointing, which is what the year old is doing. The baby learned to high five about two weeks after his cousin. My problem is that I feel guilty about sharing these acomplishments with my sister and friend because I don't want to appear like I am bragging, but my kids are smart and I am proud of them. Am I being silly, or should I be more sensitive? |
| Posted by jackie on 04/01/2008 09:26 AM
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| I knw what you mean. My daughter sarah turned 2 inJan. and she can recognize and tell you what every nubber of the alphabet is, and most numbers1-10.By that I mean look at a letter and tell you what it is. she can count to ten by herself, and to 15 with help. Knoews all shapes and colors.My sil has a baby that is 9 almost 10 months older, and isnt doing as much, but I am proud of my daughter and I dont want to say things bragging, How do we make sound as if we arent bragging,. I always try to make remarks, about her daughter she is so smart and such. Because she is but I do want to tell everyoine what my littl egirl can do |
| posted by Natasha on 04/01/2008 10:14 AM
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| A friend of mine that use to belong to this group says that she use to go to playgroups and library morn and the moms would alsways brag about their kids and she said she always walked away feeling like a shitty mom.I think that sometimes ppl at those places have to be careful how they word things so as to not make anyone feel inferior to them.I mean unless they want ppl to feel that way.Its not bad to brag about your children by no means but just be careful how ceratin things get worded. |
| posted by Lexi on 04/01/2008 01:08 PM
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| And now if I could type straight Id be doing good lol ! |
| posted by Lexi on 04/01/2008 01:16 PM
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| at play groups i am really shy, so i don't talk much. It is usually the kids just being themselves that i see some other moms looking, especially when they ask how old my kids are. They are all big for their ages, but when I say that they are younger than people thought, I see the look on their faces or they say oh, really? once in a while I hear other moms, more jokingly than not, ask their kids whom may not even be able to talk, why they don't try it or something like that. it is more my sister and friend whose children are close in age that i worry about. I am obviously proud of my childen, but I don't want my friend feeling bad because her son is older than my daughter or my sister who obviously I love my nephew and don't want to compare the kids. but i know how hard it is when youre a first time mom like my sis. i never just brag to strangers. I don't even talk to people most of the time. |
| posted by jackie on 04/01/2008 01:28 PM
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I think this subject is one that most mothers encounter at one point or another. I don't like comparing my children to any one else's children, but sometimes I think we do it without even thinking about it. But I can speak as a mother whose child has some delays, how heartbreaking it can be when another mother is going on and on about what their little genius can do and here I sit trying to catch my son up. My son is almost two and he has a diagnosed speech delay. Which may not seem bad, but when your child can't even say mommy and other children his age are speaking sentences it is hard.
Evey child grows and crosses the milestones at different times. I think you can be proud of your child without having to flaunt what he or she can do, especially in front of a friend or family member whose child maybe isn't up to speed. As mothers we ALL want our children to be special and ahead of their pack, however when those dreams don't come true and your child doesn't live up to that expectation it can crush you. When you have a child that is behind no matter what it may be, you learn to celebrate their little accomplishments however small they may be. If you want to talk openly with your sister about what acomplishments your children have made I think it would make her feel better if you celebrated the small accomplishments her son has made. Make a big deal out of him learning how to high five, it would probably make your sister feel great! In your sister's eyes her son is perfect and she is probably sooo grateful that she even has him , I'm sure having a premie wasn't easy.
My point is that some mothers don't have children that do everything on time and sometimes ahead of time. But we are all mothers that only want the best for our children. You can be proud of your children, you should be they sound incredibly smart. Just remember that the person you may be bragging your child up to may be having a hard time with their own. Remember raising children is not a sprint to the finish line its a marathon with some detours along the way. |
| posted by Rhiannon on 04/01/2008 03:00 PM
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Wow.............Rhiannon, you should be a writer. Your words hit home and I feel that you are absolutely right. My youngest has a speech delay and it is very difficult when I hear what others are doing. He was adopted at the age of one from Guatemala , therefore, someone was speaking Spanish to him for the first year of his life. He had many ear problems but have since been corrected. I am hear to tell you that your day will come when you will hear your little guy call you "mommy".
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| posted by Teri on 04/01/2008 05:39 PM
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| I totally agree.I think ;I am a lil shy around ppl out in the open also.I am not as shy here on the pc.The way my post are youd think OMG shes the life of the party.Im not.I think it would bother me w Lexi to be out w alot of ppl I didnt know well.Shes tiny boned like my 9 yr old.Shes very petite.I think Id feel bad if some 1 commented on it.Gawd, she eats all day and still doesnt put the weight on.Shes my lil pig who will eat anything.I know this summer Ill go on a few playgroup get togethers but I worry about feeling strange.Lexi has never ben around other children.Only older siblings,it ought to be interesting. |
| posted by Lexi on 04/01/2008 05:51 PM
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| I totally agree with Rhiannon. I find some mothers to be very competitve with the way their child is doing. There is nothing wrong with being proud but when in one sentence they brag about their child and then ask if yours is doing the same can be insulting. I have a friend that constantly makes me feel bad. I've told her to stop comparing our children and that every child is different but she still does it. She is always calling my son petite but she makes it sound like something is wrong with that because her daughter is 3 months older and a lot bigger. I think Lexi said it too. You have to be careful the way you word things. My son hasn't started walking yet and my friend's child walked at a year. She makes me feel bad that he hasn't hit his milestones at the same time. With other parents I only compliment their child. I would never put a label on them like they are too big or too small. Now when talking with the grandparents you can brag all you want. They love to hear it. |
| posted by Terri on 04/02/2008 07:01 AM
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| I feel the same way, my cousin has a daughter that is only 6 weeks older than my daughter, Anna. when anna was 4 and a half months, she got both her bottom teeth in at the same time, and didnt cry at all! Hannah is about 7 months and one week, and she has no teeth. Anna has been crawling for a week, and she is about 5 months and 3 weeks. And yesterday she started saying mama, well she actually says mamamamama. but hannah hasnt said anything yet. and i am so proud of her, but i hate telling my cousin because i dont want her to think i am bragging. I feel bad that hannah isnt doing the same stuff, but i cant help it that anna does. Hannah wasnt premature, but she was born a little early, and she was only 5lbs 6 oz when she was born, and anna was 9lbs 3 oz, hannah did good getting her weight up, and she was a lot more smiley, and has aloooot more hair. but i still feel bad about telling her the stuff anna can do. |
| posted by Becky on 04/02/2008 03:36 PM
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I do worry about sounding like I am bragging, especially since we found out that our daughter has a speech problem. she is only 21 months old and can do many things and she can do them well. She is a very smart lil girl. But people don't think that she is as smart as she is because she cant really talk yet and when she does learn how to say a new word i am really porud of her and I call a lot of my family members and tell them. But In jan I found out that my cuz lost her baby and I feel bad telling her about my daughtes accoplishments bcauze i fell like i am rubbing that fact that I have a kid in her face and she dose not expically after years of trying. But if anyone wants or needs some advice on speech probs let me know because I also had one when I was young and I rember the things that I had to do until I was ten. So i am full of ideas.
Jaimie
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| posted by JAIMIE on 04/02/2008 10:53 PM
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