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| First Time Moms |
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| I know with kids and work and everyday life of being a mom is taxing and hard on a marriage but lately i just feel like i have no love to give my hubby and i don't want his. I don't hate him or want a divorce i just don't want anything to do with him. We've had a really rough time since katie was born (she'll be a year in 2 weeks) and there is some resentment i just can't forgive him for. For the first 2 weeks he was really good, i had a c-section so i couldn't do hardly anything. But after i was off my pain meds he just quit doing anything. He's never been a very tidy person, ok so he's a downright slob, and i get tired of picking up after him and taking care of everything else. I hadle all the bills, clean the house, take out the trash, feed the baby, change the baby, do all the shopping etc. The only thing he really does is go to work and make the big bucks. Mind you i still have to work 4 days a week to help pay some of the bills. He comes home and sits in front of the computer and plays his stupid games. He'll play with katie for about 20 minutes then gets bored and goes back to his game. I"m just so fed up with his crap that i don't want anything to do with him. Sex is so far down my priority list it might as well be burried but he doesn't like to take no for an answer. If i insinst that i'm too tired he rolls over and pouts and it drives me nuts. He thinks i'm supermom and i'm not! Is this just a phase? Does it get better or is it the beginning to the end? I just don't know what to do anymore. I"m not happy, and in some ways i feel like i'm getting screwed out of my fairytale. (yeah i know it's cheesy and slightly selfish but everygirl wants her fairytale right?) I love my daughter very much but is my love for her taking over what i used to feel for my husband? Any advice would help! |
| Posted by Amanda on 03/31/2008 11:03 PM
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You know what Amanda? Just YESTERDAY my husband told me that he feels neglected. I know that I can give him more attention, but all my love and attention goes to Jacob. Because of this, our sex life has not been the same. He's always on the computer, but its because I'm not even dealing with him like I used to. So I told him that I'm going to make a big effort to change that.
I don't know about you but becoming a mom has changed me. Everything and anything is about my baby and what he needs and wants. Because of that, I even neglect how I myself feel and look and want. And it carried over to my husband. We get so caught up that we forget and neglect everyone else that might need us as well. And the thing is our men need us. They just don't cry out for us the way our babies do.
I hope this helps and that things between you and your man change. There has been many days when I've felt like what have I gotten myself into. But everyone has to look at what their actions are. Everything that we do affects someone even when we don't realize it. |
| posted by Eva on 04/01/2008 12:46 PM
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| I really think you should tell him how you are feeling. Its understandable that you're upset that he doesn't do enough around the house or pay more attention to the baby. Maybe you could try to calmly ask him why he doesn't to those things, or tell him that it is putting a strain on your relationship. Good luck. I hope things get better. |
| posted by Keshia on 04/01/2008 03:29 PM
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| I feel the same way Eva does. I know I've got to put forth an effort and then he'll try. It's a vicious cycle that keeps going if there's no intervention. I myself am in the same boat as you Amanda and I am pregnant with our second (our first is 10 months old) so I feel your pain and exhaustion. |
| posted by on 04/03/2008 11:33 AM
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