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| Stay at Home Moms |
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Hi Moms,
I have a 19 month old son that is banging his head on the floor, wall, crib, etc. if he is upset about anything. (the word no, wanting up and my not picking him up etc.). If he doesn't get his way, he hits the floor and starts banging his head on the floor. I tried ignoring it, but he just hits it harder until I come running. I've tried time outs and he gets it, when I say if you hit your head you will go in a time out, do you want a time out. He'll stop for a minute. But we battle this several times a day. Today, it has been ongoing. I put him in his play pen (the only safe place, I can find) and he just screamed and hit his head on the side of it harder and harder. He has a bruise on his forehead from today and a little welt. I tried putting a cloth with ice on it, but that started another fit. I don't know what else to do to stop this. I'm really concerned about him. Anyone else ever dealt with this? Any ideas on how to stop it? I know he is doing it to get my attention, and it works, I'll give him that, but he's hurting himself. He went through a phase of biting himself to get my attention as well. :-( Is the terrible twos early? Please help! |
| Posted by Charlene on 03/30/2008 11:52 AM
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| my son went through this. they can not express themselves so i know it is horrible but this is what they do. At one point i thought i would have had to buy him a football helmet because that is how often he was doing it . He is going to be 3 in june and on a very rare occasion he will bang his head. It is a phase that will eventually pass.. I tried everything possible and nothing worked. If it gets extremly out of hand than i would contact your doctor. |
| posted by on 03/30/2008 12:10 PM
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Hi Charlene,
My son is 14 months old and has started banging his head on the highchair when he doesn't get his way. He has a little bit of a bad temper I have noticed. Also, when he doesn't want to be changed he bangs his legs. I worry too that he is going to hurt himself. I haven't found a solution yet. No, seems to make it worse. My son has a one track mind with a lot of things. We have a gate and he is always trying to get to the other side. It is constant. All day long. And of course when I don't let him he throws a fit. Hang in there. I know it is hard. |
| posted by Terri on 03/30/2008 12:42 PM
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Hi Charlene,
I may have a suggestion for you its something that I have just started with my son because timeouts are no longer working for us and he was throwing terrible tantrums. It seemed like they got worse the more timeouts we did. He just turned two in Feb and was fine up until a few weeks ago. I was begining to say no, stop that or don't, every other word out of my mouth that's when I was like okay something has to change. I started looking online and didn't really find anything so I asked my Pedi when I took my son. She gave me a website called loveandlogic.com. It's this man that travels the the country speaking to parents and educators. They have a lot of books from different people with the similar method. I have ordered this man's book and should get it this week. There is a book a CD and some other stuff it's kind of pricey but I am willing to try it. I also have been reading a book by Bridget Barnes and Steven York called Common Sense Parenting of Toddlers and Preschoolers. It is basically using praise, rewards and redirection. It's kind of hard to get into the habit of not saying what you normally would say but I have been doing it for a week now and there is a HUGE change. Instead of saying get off the chair that's mamas desk (becuase he likes to get up at my desk) I will say would you like to come over to your desk and sit, you may color or instead of saying just play with one toy at a time your making a mess, I will say let's pick up these toys first then you may get out another toy, then when he does the task I have asked him or if he does something without even having to be told we make a big deal (Praise Praise Praise) and you would not belive the difference. It's hard to explain but I hope this is a little clear. Or when he comes to the dinner table without making a big fuss I will say Thank you so much for coming to the table so nicely and he really likes to hear such positive things. Sometimes he has to br retold things but there are also many that he remembers hey if I do this I will get this consequence that I like etc.... anyway hope this helps and Good Luck |
| posted by amy on 03/30/2008 06:49 PM
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| my middle child was a severe head banger. She had a permenant bruise on her forehead for a while. You have to grit your teeth and ignore it, as long as they are safe and not eally hurt, and it will eventually go away. She is still a bruiser, and will on occation head butt when mad at hr siblings, but I remember being afraid that she was autisic for a while because of it. But she grew out of it, mostly! |
| posted by jackie on 03/31/2008 09:11 PM
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| My son is 21 months old and is doing the same thing. Any time my son doesn't get his way he hits us and head butts us and bangs his head on the floors, the walls, anything. I usually put him in a time- out for 1.5 minutes. One minute per the childs age. This does not always work so I'm trying to understand him and communicate more with him. Good luck. |
| posted by Misty on 04/01/2008 01:28 AM
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Thank you so much for the feedback and advice. I've stopped the timeouts for now. They were just making his temper worse. I'm trying the phrasing alot and the redirecting. I think part of it may be that he thinks I don't understand what he wants, which is normally not the case. He sometimes starts to get upset and I stop him and tell him to tell me what he wants and he'll point or try to say it and I calm him and tell him you just need to tell mommy and I'll help you. It is when I know what he wants and the answer is no. I think part of the fit is he isn't getting his way and part may be frustration thinking I'm not listening to him.
It helps to hear from others on what you did and that your child went through this as well. Thank you for writing! We may not know each other, but your being there to call on is sooooo helpful some days. Thank you. |
| posted by Charlene on 04/01/2008 02:41 PM
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