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We are cosleeping with our only child (11 months) so I am no expert on the subject, but I have heard of folks using reward systems to get older kids to gradually sleep more nights through in their own bed.
Feeling For You,
Celeste |
| posted by Celeste on 03/28/2008 01:51 PM
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| All of us who have decided do co-sleep are doomed (so I hear). My son (8 1/2 months and breastfeeding) co-sleeps in the family bed and has no intention of leaving anytime soon. My best friend has her husband, herself, her 5 year old daughter, 1 year old son and 2 dogs in the family bed. She never even breastfed. Thank goodness we never let the dog in the bed : ) |
| posted by Allison on 03/28/2008 08:08 PM
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HI Lisa.
I don't agree with putting the child in your bed and then once they fall asleep put them in their own bed, especially if it is in a different room, because when they wake up, first, they are alone, and second, they are in a different bedroom which they then become disorientated and that becomes scarey to them. Have you ever gone on a trip and slept in several different places? When you wake up, do you lay there a minute and try to figure out where you are? Sometimes its a weird feeling? That is why they go running back into your bedroom during the night.
Try laying down with them in their bed in their room. Then once they go to sleep, hold your breath and squirm out of their bed! (What a contortionist I had become!!!) When they started to stir or cry while I was doing my things around the house, I would race up to their bed and slide in right next to them before they could thoroughly wake up and within minutes they would go right back to sleep and the catortioning started over again.
Besides the other method I suggested before the above paragraph, (taking down one side of the crib/toddler bed and securely tying it to the side of your bed). Another thing that I had done, once we moved into the house was get a bunk bed, (the kind with the double on the bottom), and, well, basically, I moved in their room so my husband who was a bear if he didn't get his 8 hours of sleep got to sleep through the night.
I had gotten two good sturdy bed rails, stuck one on each sides of the bottom bunk. My son who restarted night nursing at 3 because his sister was born, and because I didn't want him to think he was being replaced and no longer wanted, I let him. At times, it felt like I was nursing twins... at the same time!. (I look back on it now, and it makes me smile thinking of those times. Believe it or not, I felt like all of you at the time like, " is this ever gonna stop?" but now that they are getting older, and YES, all four are sleeping in their own beds, I sure do miss it)!
Anyway, my son would sleep on one side. I would sleep in the middle, and my daughter would sleep on the other side. (NOTE: Experts do not recommend that you sleep with newborns because it is very very easy to roll on them when you fall asleep and suffocate them. With my situation, I had figured out a way that worked out very well, at least for us).
When they kept growing, my son had moved to the top bunk, I would go up there and lay with him till he fell asleep and my daughter and I would sleep in the bottom. When he woke during the night, I would hear him and either go back up and snuggle a few minutes or sometimes all it took was a feel of my hand raised up to him for him to go back to sleep. Good luck... (One of my fondest memories is when all it took for them to fall back to sleep would be when they would cup their tiny little hands around my face and smile and just feeling me there, they would instantly go back to sleep. Sorry, I tend to ramble. But I REALLY do miss it!!!! |
| posted by Laura on 03/29/2008 08:36 PM
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| I feel your pain. My son is nearly three and in our bed. He was sleeping in his own bed but then got sick and I moved him back into our bed. We are also cosleeping with our 3 month old son who is nursing as well. Sometimes he will go to sleep in his own bed, but I have to stay with him until he falls asleep. Even then, sometimes he wakes in the middle of the night and comes to our bed. I don't want him to feel left out since the baby and his father are in bed with me, but at the same time I we all need to be able to sleep. I'm a much better parent if I am better rested. Would you be able to transfer your son once he is asleep? I wish you luck! The good news is (I tell myself this often) this too shall pass! I don't know how or when, but someday our kids will sleep in their own beds. Hopefully sooner than later! :) |
| posted by Tabitha on 05/06/2008 10:57 PM
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I coslept with my first until she was almost 5. SHe has a brother 16 months younger who I put in a crib in our room as a baby and slept in his toddler bed well with occasional bouts in our bed. ( the only reason he didnt cosleep as a baby was that they were so close in age and there was no room!!)
I then had my third child when my other children were 3 and 4 and she coslept with us. I then would lay in my oldest's bed with her until she fell asleep, but she would always end up in our bed at about midnight.
When she was almost 5 we got her brother and her a bunk bed and redecorated their room and she went straight to her bed and has been sleeping by herself ever since.
My youngest is going to be harder I think , shes the baby of the family, 3 years old now.I have been laying with her in her toddler bed until she falls asleep and she always ends up in our bed. I have tried the reward system, but she admits that she doesnt care. Just wants to cuddle with mommy and I let her.
I know its hard...i dont get nearly enough sleep and im trying to go to school full time!!! But I think our children need to feel safe and stay close to us for as long as possible.
Have you tried putting his toddler bed right next to yours? |
| posted by stephanie on 05/14/2008 09:32 PM
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