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| Parents of Toddlers |
| Public online group |
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My son turned two in Feb and has always been a pretty good child, he has his moments of crying or whining but nothing like they have been the past week! He will cry for an hour or more at a time. Time outs are not working as well they seem to make it worse. I bought the book by ALan Kazdin, parenting a defiant child but after I read some of it, it really appears to be for an older toddler like four. He use's the reward method with a sticker chart and praises and rewards for good behavior and says to mostly ignore bad behavior. Does anyone have any ideas????? I do not like to spank, I did smack his butt the other day and that seemed to make it worse and I felt horrible afterwards, it hurt me more than him so I don't want to go that route. He also has been holding his BM which we are treating and I just wonder if that is bothering him. I;m calling the Dr today to get an appointment because I do not belive the treatment she is having me do is working well enough. Last night my son started around 4:30 with crying because we bought him a new toy that we had to put together and he took the screws from his dad and his dad said I need those to put your toy together well he cried until he was exhausted and fell asleep at 6:00 needless to say he was up at 4:00 this morning and threw a fit cause he wanted to play and we wanted him to sit down a quietly play so we could wake up, and he began his fits until he exhausted himself once again at about 5am and slept till just now 8:30am .
So if you have any suggestions I would love to hear them thank you so much, sorry this is so long.
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| Posted by amy on 03/26/2008 09:30 AM
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| Lol must have been something in the air last night! My son also woke around 3:30 am wanting to play and eat. Stayed up quite a while then gave a lot of trouble to get up when it was time to get ready for day care. This is the first time he has really done this. |
| posted by Afihtan on 03/26/2008 10:37 AM
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| Amy, my son also turned two in Feb and it is like he is a different child, he is constantly telling me no and throwing the worst fits. I place him in the corner (we started the corner when he was about a year and a half because the naughty chair did not work). On Monday I swear he spent more time in the corner than out of it but it is all about consistantcy. I tell him to stop what he is doing and give him a warning, I tell him if he does it again he will go to the corner, then when he does it he stands in the corner with his nose in the corner and hands down at the side, he stays in there for two minutes straight and if he starts to play or comes out then the time starts over. When he finally gets out of the corner I lean down to eye level and tell him again why he went to the corner and not to do it any more. Believe me I am completely new at this and this terrible two stage is ssssssooooooo different than what I thought it would be but the corner is really the only thing that I have found he pays attention to. Good luck and if you find something else that works for you please share, I can use any suggestions I can get. |
| posted by Kyleen on 03/26/2008 11:13 AM
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Hi Amy, I totaly understand where you are coming from. But my little girl is not even two yet. She has entered her terribol twos early, she has such bad tantrums to where she will hit herself in the head and bang her head on the floor, her pedi said that it won't hurt her and she will stop when it dose hurt but I don't like to see her do that to herself. She is only twenty months old, and no form of punishment works for her. We have tried it all including spanking her, but when we did it she just laughed at us and hit us back. So we stopped that right then and there, not to mention it mad us feel horriable. It seems to me that the best form of punishment is to use the reward system, I know that not many two year olds really understand the system, but I know that my little girl likes to get stickers and when I tell her her warning I will say to her that if I have to tell her again she will lose a sticker. At the end of the week if she has seven stickers we will give her a special surprize, like a new toy. a trip to the mall, a trip to the park, a walk around the neighborhood, and on nice days a trip to the zoo, and I have only been using this system for one month but she has only lost two stickers for the whole month, and it also helps to let them pick out there own calander and stickers, or decorate their sticker chart, and let them tell you where they want to put it. Sorry that this is so long but I hope that this idea will work and Know that you are not alone with this problem.
Jaimie |
| posted by JAIMIE on 03/26/2008 01:18 PM
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| Thank you for all your replies. I took my son to a Dr. appt yesterday and she gave me some tips and a website to go to Loveandlogic I ordered the toddler package and am crossing my fingers, I think I need a new approach to what I have been doing. I get tired of hearing my self say no or don't... and this book or package is about redirecting them and focusing on the positive and ignoring the bad behavior such as screaming yelling etc as long as he isn't hurting himself or others. I hope it works I will let you know. I tried some different things today such as the letting him go to his room and calm down and being calm myself when I went to check on him to see if he was ready to rejoin me and the tantrums were much shorter today so maybe Im headed in the right direction. I also let him pick out some stickers today at the grocery store and gave him one when we got in the car for being good which he usually is good in the stores knock on wood but I just wanted to focus on the positive and let him know when he is doing something nicely or good so that he can get the hang of it. My pedi said he was to young for a sticker chart but I just put them on his shirt or give them to him to do what he wants. I hope this works I don't want to be stressed out and him be stressed out, now the fun part is explaining the system or process to my husband becuase we both need to be doing the same thing. Thanks again everybody, It feels better to know I'm not the only onegoing through the terrible two's. |
| posted by amy on 03/27/2008 09:01 PM
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Just wanted to say thanks to everyone for their advice too.
My daughter is 20 months old and "discipline" doesn't work for her. Redirecting is a very temporary solution and frustration seems like a permanent mood some days.
She will cry endlessly if not getting her way, and some days I feel like the worst parent ever because I can't redirect her w/out actually giving in to what she's demanding. I don't give in to her, but talk about the "test of time". |
| posted by Cheryn on 04/03/2008 12:02 AM
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| Cheryn, parenting can be the most frustrating job that you can have and at 20 months old it seemd to be nothing but trial and error, just keep trying to redirect and get some advice from other moms. Every child is diferent and it takes time to figure out what is right. the funny thing for me is what works (for my son) with my husband,mother, or anyone else does not always work for him and I and that is frustrating! |
| posted by Kyleen on 04/03/2008 07:39 AM
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| Kyleen, Isn't that the truth! My dad even told me once that I wasn't disciplining her enough - I told him to have it at. Sure enough if he didn't pull my same approach and she listened - once, just for a few minutes. LOL Now I just let my family try for themselves, eventually they give up and look at me for direction. Heh. My Mom, sis, and sis-in-law keep saying "I just don't remember the other girls being this/that way." If nothing else she's a trip, and keeps everyone on their toes. |
| posted by Cheryn on 04/03/2008 05:00 PM
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| Amen to that |
| posted by Kyleen on 04/03/2008 06:40 PM
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