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| My daugther is almost three and sometimes has a mouth of a salior, I have tried to displine her about it many ways, but she dosent seem to get what she is saying is wrong and hurtful to me and others. I need some advice on how to make this stop. |
| Posted by amber on 03/24/2008 11:54 AM
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| Please don't take this as a lecture :-) Your daughter, at three, is incapable of just "thinking up these words".. You need to find out where she has heard them and start from there.. Children are truly copykats when they are around others.. Wherever the source is, correct it there.. Part two, the hardest part, DON'T REACT!! Walk away, don't get upset, don't say a thing.. At this age, I found that my children did not understand what they were saying, they only understood that they could get a reaction out of me.. Tell her, when she isn't using those words and causing you to get upset, how proud you are of her "nice words" she uses when she talks... Make a bigger deal about that then the "other words".. Believe it or not, they will listen at this age and love the positive reaction when it comes!! Make a special "award" for her to see when she goes a whole day only using "nice words".... Just a few ideas and suggestions from a Grandma.... Good luck!! |
| posted by NannyGr... on 03/24/2008 12:56 PM
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| Hi Amber, I understand what you are going through. My daughter is 5 and I am going through similar issues with her saying bad or hurtful words. I totally agree with Pauline, however its a bit harder to control or find the source when you child is in preschool or headstart and is hearing these words from her peers. But I still have to reinforce the "no bad words rule" and most importantly be the role model of that. |
| posted by MICHELLE on 03/24/2008 03:17 PM
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| How true!! It is harder when they are in a "school type" setting... I really believe that not reacting too much is kinda the best idea.. I know that when my kids were younger, they seemed to love getting my attention, sometimes in ways that were not too great :-) Mine would wait till we were in a public setting, then start up with the "NO-NO words"... Again, praise her for using nice words, we used to make up silly words and phrases to use when they got upset... Like sugar-time, salt-time..ect |
| posted by NannyGr... on 03/24/2008 03:30 PM
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| Hi Amber, I have a three year daughter as well. She started to pick up on the curse words from others around including myself. When we realized that this was happenning we all started to watch what we were saying. When my daughter would say a bad word we would just sit down without getting upset and told her it was a bad word and that it is wrong for anyone to say it. Also, everytime someone else would say a bad word we pointed it out in front her to them and told them not to say it. This helped her understand that it was not just her getting talked to about these types of words. She nows tells me whenever someone says a bad word if I dont talk to them right away. |
| posted by Becky on 04/16/2008 11:58 PM
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| Becky.. GREAT IDEA to correct the others when they say it!! That way, your daughter does not think that it's okay for others to say those words, just not her.... |
| posted by NannyGr... on 04/17/2008 08:58 AM
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| You know Becky, I really admire the fact that you've acknowledged you were at fault as well. Because sometimes as parents we fail to take responsibility fore the unconscious influences we have on our childrens behavior. That's great! And, it's great that you are showing her that it not right and even as adults we do things and say things that are not right too. |
| posted by MICHELLE on 04/17/2008 06:22 PM
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| I had a potty mouth daughter a few months ago. I heard her cursing a little seven year old girl out using the f word. I smacked her upside the head, yanked her by the arm, took her in the house and washed her mouth out with Ajax dishwashing liquid. I explained to her that saying those words are wrong. I also told her that she made God cry because she was saying really bad words. I also made her give an apology to the little girl and to her mother. I also tore her behind up, made her write sentences and go to her room. We talked afterwards about what she did and what she could have done different and what she will do different in the future. After that I had no more problems. |
| posted by Gail on 04/27/2008 12:37 AM
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| Gail, that is one way to handle it.. Not what I would have done, but to each his own.. I would be concerned that you used violence to teach a child that they did something you didn't approve of?? Lets hope that teachers in our school system don't resort to this way, otherwise they will lose their jobs and possible have legal issues to deal with.. No child should be dragged by their arm, if you as a parent are doing it, I would be concerned that she would find this acceptable by other adults also.. |
| posted by NannyGr... on 04/27/2008 12:40 PM
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| I totally agree with you Pauline. Because what message are you sending to you child? And, children talk! A few months ago, I disciplined my son, which was a mere spanking on the behind (nothing major). He went to school, got disciplined for name calling, and was going to get detention. So, he told the teacher, "I can't get a detention because if I do I will get marks on my body". You could just imagine what happened next, within a day I had social services at my home and the sheriff at the door... And, come to find out he had gotten a mark on his arm from playing on the playground. So, parents have to really be careful about what method of discipline they choose to use. I know this was a HUGE learning lesson for me... |
| posted by MICHELLE on 04/27/2008 01:16 PM
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| Don't sit there and put me down just because I was being open and honest about what I did. Not once did I say to the person who posted this topic that she should go out and do what I did. However, now a days I try my best to be careful about the words that I use, how I discipline my children, how I talk to them, how I treat other people and I also make sure that I am being the good example, not only that, I am seeking parenting classes because I can freely admit I am not the best parent but I do love my children and I am always seeking what is best for them in the long run. Social services is not going to raise my child. I have to raise my child. They will take them from the home and possibly never return them. From me to my child: There is no place like home. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Go ahead call 911. When you do and they take you out of my home because I am disciplining you, you can just stay where you are. You are not going to do what you want in my house period. |
| posted by Gail on 04/27/2008 03:23 PM
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| Glad to see you are taking parenting classes, raising a child is hard work.. It amazes me that they give you training for a job, send you to school and teach you things, but just hand over an infant to you with no help.... No one thinks you are a bad parent, understand that we don't learn unless we are taught, we don't teach unless we are brave enough to teach.. Please don't be so hard on yourself, we all have been down the same road you are on.. Get used to the fact that people will offer their opinions, we all have to be brave enough to listen.. Kiss your kids today, and hug yourself.. As moms, we forget to pat ourselves on the back every night.. |
| posted by NannyGr... on 04/27/2008 04:22 PM
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