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| When my now 3 month old was born I had so many guests at all times not to mention we loved her so much we never wanted to put her down. She also slept 24-7 her first two weeks if life only waking up to eat. She got so used to being held when she slept she won't sleep without being held or rocking in her swing... it's so bad now she won't even take naps without this. She started sleeping through the night with me when she was 6 weeks old but to this day won't sleep through in her crib or bassinet. Even when she does sleep a few hours in her crib at night when she wakes up she won't fall back asleep unless she's in our bed and the whole time she's in her crib I can't sleep because I'm worried something is going to happen and keep listening for her to make a sound. My whole family is on my case, my husband says it's no ones business what we do, but I know he'd rather her sleep in her own bed too. I don't like the idea of letting someone this little cry it out. Help! What do I do? |
| Posted by Ashley on 03/15/2008 07:24 PM
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Oh I feel for you! My son developed RSV at 11 days old and the only way he would sleep was on my chest while I slept on the couch. It was so hard during those weeks we did that. It finally got to the point where I wanted to sleep in my own bed with my husband. We had to get Ian sleeping back in his crib and I wasn't a fan of CIO either. I still refuse to use that method.
What we ended up doing was a little hard, but it worked. It took a couple of nights and tries, but it worked for us. Basically, we started with a bassinet (playard) next to our bed. I would give Ian a bottle (which put him to sleep, still does) and when he fell asleep in my arms, I would put him in the bassinet. If he woke up, I would pick him up and comfort him until he calmed down. Once he was calm and back to sleeping, then I would put him back in. There were times he would instantly wake back up, but then there would be other times he would stay asleep. The first time we did this, I think it took me an hour to get him to sleep, but he slept in his bassinet. Then when he woke up later that night, I did it again, but it didn't take as long because he was already partly asleep. The next night it still took a bit, but not as long and within a couple of nights, he would sleep in his crib.
One thing I would mention, there were times it helped for me to go to bed with him or at least pretend to. If I was able to get him to stay asleep in his bassinet, the moment I would try and walk out he would cry. So I would lay down for a bit and after 5-10 minutes I could leave. We ended up moving him to his big crib at some point, which was still in our room but not next to our bed, and he was still find with sleeping in his crib.
On the worrying about her sleeping in her crib, yeah there really isn't anything that will help with that. That's what we do after all, worry. I still worry about my son and he's 12 months old now. I think he was going on 9 months when I stopped checking to make sure he was breathing when I went into bed (a couple of hours after he went to sleep). After awhile, you just have to have trust that she'll be alright. We currently live in a two bedroom apartment and we're hunting for a house so Ian can have his own room. I know the day when he starts sleeping in another room, I won't be getting any sleep that night. I'll be constantly listening for him. If you find a cure for the worry, let me know. :) |
| posted by Jaxon on 03/15/2008 07:40 PM
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| I really know how you feel, we did the same thing and we are know trying to correct it. It has been a long hard rode and my son is two. I rocked him to sleep and gave him his bottle the first year so when he was a year old he didn't know how to get himself to sleep. His crib was in our room until about 13 or 14 mos and then he slept in his room in his crib off and on, his thing during that time was the pacifier falling out of his mouth. Now he is in a toddler bed going on about 1 1/2 mos. he was sleeping with us prior to that since our 3 week christmas vacation messed things up, that was many many nights of restless sleep, as they get bigger they kick and the arms move a bit faster. I have been smacked in the face many times, I laugh now but at 2 in the morning it was no fun. My brother and his wife let thier son sleep with them because they felt awful when he cried he is 15 now and I think would still sleep with them if they would let him haha, no but really he slept with them until he was 9, can you imagine???? I would do what the other mom said put her in your room in either a bassinet, playard or just move her crib in there to get her used to sleeping by herself. During the time my son was in our room in his crib my Peditrician sort of frowned on that, she said your baby knows your scent and when they end up going to there own room and can't smell you anymore that's just another obstacle to conquer, I guess you could put a t-shirt in her crib at that point or maybe use one of her blankets for a night then give it to her, sounds kinda weird but whatever works I guess. Good Luck I know it's hard |
| posted by amy on 03/15/2008 08:55 PM
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| Thank you both for your help! Jaxon, I have tried your suggestion but my problem was I was always so tired it was easier to just give up and let her sleep through the night with me. I believe I am just going to have to suck it up and keep putting her back in her bassinet or crib no matter what! One thing that I believe will help me when i get her back in her own room, and may help you too, is getting one of those video monitors. We have a couple that my parents bought us and I i know I will still wake up to make sure she's okay but at least we won't have to leave our own bed! Hopefully i can eventually use this method but I've got to work on the her own bed part first! Amy, I like the idea of the scent, I think I definitely might try something like that, but the idea of putting something in her crib still brings me to that fear of SIDs. Any suggestions for that? |
| posted by Ashley on 03/16/2008 08:50 AM
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I definitely know what you mean about giving up. There were a couple of times that by 3am I was tired of getting up so we would move out to the couch. Eventually though, that point would get later and later in the morning and then would go away completely. It's just as hard on us as it is the kids when we try to change something. You'll get through this. I have no doubt.
I did actually try the scent thing with my son. However, I didn't use a blanket or anything like that. I tried wearing one under my shirt for a bit, but after 5 minutes it was too annoying. What I did instead was, after putting Ian to bed, I would take off my shirt and use it as a blanket. Then I would get into my pajamas. Just a thought. |
| posted by Jaxon on 03/16/2008 09:51 AM
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| Maybe sleep on one of her crip sheets one night or just drape it over your pillowcase and then put it on her mattress the next day. I think I just used a light shirt and used it as a blanket but with her still being so young I would just try the sheet over your pillow. Good Luck! |
| posted by amy on 03/17/2008 10:35 AM
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| The book "The No Cry Sleep Solution" helped us tremendously. I was very nervous about my baby sleeping in her crib. She slept with us until 4 months (at which point my husband was no longer in the bed with us because he was nervous about sleeping with her) and then in her swing until 9 months or longer. Make sure you listen to your instincts on this and not your family. Only you know how to best raise your child and if you want to let your baby sleep with you (as long as you're practicing good co-sleeping habits), then it's none of anyone else's business. Also, I don't think there's anything wrong with a 3 month old taking naps in the swing. I always thought that it was just important for her to sleep and it didn't matter to me how it was accomplished. |
| posted by Stephanie on 03/17/2008 12:55 PM
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We still co-sleep with our 10 month old and it is easier on everybody. If you are interested, Dr. Sears has some great information on co-sleeping www.askdrsears.com.
Celeste |
| posted by Celeste on 03/17/2008 05:17 PM
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| I know actually what you mean our 6 month old sleeps with us ever since she was a month old. When she takes naps in her crib during the i stand over her to make sure she is still breathing. We are starting to get to sleep in her crib at night but it is the toughest thing ive had to do. I rock her till she is asleep then i place her in the crib i also place one of my night shirts that has my sent on it near her so she can smell me, an that seems to work, just the other night she slept though the whole night. I know how tough it. Maybe this will help. Good luck:) |
| posted by on 03/17/2008 05:28 PM
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