"The Kasdin Method for Pasrenting the Defiant Child" by Alan Kasdin is a really useful book!!! It takes disciplene away from power struggles and arguements and helps you have a more peaceful home. I bought this book without feeling like it was really gonna help and it really really did! It comes with a dvd which helps you see what they're talking about. We've been using this method for about 6 weeks and it really has transformed our house. Boys are motivatred to listen because that get actual rewards when they behave instead of shouting and carrying on when they don't.