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| Stay at Home Moms |
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| Before i got married an had our daughter i had a career an a identiy of my own. Now that im a mom people refer to me as caleighs moms. I love being a mom my daughter is my whole world but i feel like i have lost a piece of myself any advice on how to cope with this feeling. |
| Posted by on 03/13/2008 05:31 PM
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| Try to join some active moms groups. It will help you meet people who are in the same boat as you. Before we have our kids we meet people at work and we identify ourselves by what we do at work. Now it is up to us to find people to relate too. There might be a local group on RaisingThem you could join or you could look in your local paper for playgroups in the area. I hope you find what you're looking for! |
| posted by Heather on 03/14/2008 11:32 AM
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I think most women go through something of this feeling at one time or another...or maybe most of the time. For my part, the page turned for me when I decided that my attitude was going to be different. Other people may see me as "Micah's mom" only, but I know that there's so much more to me than motherhood...BUT that all those other parts of who I am make me the best mom for Micah that he could ever have.
All that you know yourself to be as a woman makes you into the woman God meant for Caleigh to have as a mother. So, think of how you've actually gained a new and brighter facet to yourself than you've ever had before in being a mother.
It really came down to my attitude more than activities I did or didn't do...(although, getting a regular break away by myself or with a girlfriend and with my husband sans kids is a must too)...believe me, before I adjusted my point of view, I cried often over what I felt was missing from my life. It was when I realized that i could end up resenting my precious family and I was ready to choose a different mindset: one that didn't demean my position as a mother, but glorified it.
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| posted by Kelly on 03/14/2008 03:39 PM
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| I know exactly what your saying, I feel the same way sometimes. Whenever it feels like I don't know who "I" am anymore, i am only Terrys mom, I do somethings to reconnect, things I enjoyed pre-baby. I don't know what you did, but I listen to some R&B and dance, I draw, I read when i get a chance (at night usually), or when I have an extra buck or two, I go buy a new shirt or something to make me feel beautiful and feminine, or have just a lunch with the girls, without the baby. Hope this helps |
| posted by Tessa on 03/15/2008 10:27 PM
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| Tessa thank you for the advice, i actually had the chance to go out shopping today while my husband watched our daughter an that helped me so much ( even though i hate shopping).Im learning to find things to do that make me feel better an its working. |
| posted by on 03/15/2008 10:45 PM
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| I am glad that something i said helped. I don't think motherhood should be a punishment, a trading everything to have a child. A child should enrich our lives, and make so much more joyful than it could have ever been before. But no matter how many titles we posses, (mother, wife, daughter, sister, boss, student) we must always have a true self at the center. Just my thoughts. :) |
| posted by Tessa on 03/15/2008 11:22 PM
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| you should know that your raising your daughter is the most important job you could ever have. I felt the same way after I had my son. But my husband tells me everyday that my job of taking care of my son and the house and him is way harder then his job. Besides you wouldn't want someone else taking care of her all day any way. Just remember to take time for yourself everyday if you can other people get to come home from their jobs and relax so should you. |
| posted by Misty on 03/20/2008 07:39 PM
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| Thanks for the advice. I am starting to find ways to have time for myself an finding stuff to do that gives me time for myself even if it is just an hour. I am starting to feel better. Its ok that i dont have a career anymore cause i actually have the best an most important job raising our daughter an im loving it. Just to see her smile in the mornig makes my whole day. Thanks ladies for all the advice it really did help me out. |
| posted by on 03/21/2008 10:14 AM
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