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| Raising Boys |
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so my 9mo. old son has this thing where he likes to pull on my hair. i mean i have it slicked back in a tight bun and he still manages to grap big chunks of it on the sides and rip it right outta my head. and he is so fast i cant stop him. i have tried sternly saying no. or let go. but he just looks at me and laughs(thus why we call him devil child...it's a joke) and i'm not laughing it really hurts. he is going to make me bald. he also grabs my face and digs his nails into me and it breaks the skin. i try keeping them short and filed smooth but he still can do it. i dont know how to get him to stop. i DO NOT beleieve in spanking or any sort of violence(i feel it teaches them that violence is another way to communicate. and its not) but short of shaving my head i dont know what else to do.
please help me save my hair! |
| Posted by Rebecca on 03/13/2008 10:54 AM
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Hi Rebecca
I also have a 9 month old son who likes to do the same thing, pull hair scratch and now he pinching! really I don't know how to stop them from doing such things but my sons ped. gave me a tip for when I was breastfeeding and he was bitting me. Whenever he would bit me would be to react fast with an OWW that hurts loud enough to give him a little scare to let him know that that is not acceptable, eventually he'll get the point, so what I do when he pinches pulls or scratches is to yell OWW (not to loud though that would be mean) then pull his hand away and tell him no and that hurts sometimes I might give his hand a little swat (not enough to hurt him) point at him and tell him NO, he still does it so far but I think hes getting the point. I hope this has helped in any little way possible if not then I'm sorry -Jennifer |
| posted by on 03/13/2008 11:21 AM
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You have to set very strict boundaries - even at this young age about how your children will treat you. If you do not do it now, at this early stage, then you'll continue to have trouble. My older son with ADHD was very violent with me when he was young and I did not address early so we spent much of his toddler years correcting that. You are the adult and can move away from your child and/or put him away from you physically and say very directly that hurting you is not funny.
Because this is the developmental stage that children learn emotions it is time for you to model and define your emotions so that your child can also communicate his emotions when he is ready. You do not have to use violence, just be very firm and use your 'stern mommy voice' to indicate that negative behaviors won't be tolerated. It will take some time because there is already the dynamic in place - that he thinks it is something funny. Also, remember that your child is not 'seperate' from you and if he doesn't hurt, he does not know that you are hurting because he really does not know he is a distinct person totally seperate from you (that comes with the terrible twos when you REALLY want to have this under control!)
Good luck! |
| posted by mamakats on 03/13/2008 12:16 PM
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| My son is 10 months and he went through the pulling hair stage and pinching. It does hurt!! You do have to set boundaries with them though. This goes for biting as well. When he does it again immediately tell him no in a stern voice and set him down. Eventually he will corrolate the negative behavior with being put down and we all know how much they want to be held especially at this age. Hope that helps! Good luck. |
| posted by Molly on 03/13/2008 01:04 PM
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| thanks guys i will try it and hope it works.. |
| posted by Rebecca on 03/13/2008 03:26 PM
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| The same thing happened with my son I think he was about a year old though when he was doing it, but by pedi said to put him on the couch or in your case maybe on the floor and say no sir you may not pull mommas hair and walk away for a minute. She said it would hurt his feelings and he would not do it anymore, from what I remember it worked. |
| posted by amy on 03/13/2008 03:30 PM
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Rebecca,
No that you are not alone with this situation. My son is 18 months and he is also pulling on hair. I was told he pulled hair on a little girl at day care yesterday. I use the sign for "no" and point to my hair so he can put it together with no hair pulling. I try to actually show him "no" to the specific behavior as much as possible. I also give him a clap or a hug or any type of positive reinforcement when I play with him and he doesn't pull my hair. I hope this helps. |
| posted by Makina on 03/14/2008 08:55 AM
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| My son started pulling on my hair when he was about 4 months. He would just grab the back part, by the neck to fall alseep. Then it started to get worse. He is now 14 months and still doing the same. He also likes to bite. I did try pulling his hair when he pulled mine, not hard or course, it did work for a week or two. After that he just started pulling it harder and laughing. If you find anyways to make them stop please let me know. I have tried so many things and nothing works. I also agree with you on the not spanking. |
| posted by Jessica on 03/14/2008 05:02 PM
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