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| Parents of Teens |
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Hi Julie ~ I couldn't get the site to let me reply to the other thread, so I'm answering on here.
What happened with my son and his attitude about school? It's not encouraging at all. He hates school and tries to avoid anything schooly. His problems got worse and worse and then we moved and he was the new kid in middle school. He was bullied something awful and couldn't concentrate on school and had two teachers I wouldn't have wished on my worst enemy (not just our opinion) - anyway -
What happened is that he is now homeschooled. I have the latitude in Oklahoma to be very creative with his schooling. We don't do every subject every day. Every assignment has meaning and he has the option to do most of them orally instead of in writing. He also has ADD and focuses much better at home. We don't follow a set curriculum, yet we cover the same subjects the school covers in less time and with less frustration.
When I took him out of 7th grade after spring break and tested him, I found he couldn't even do 5th grade math - but they were pushing him to do 7th grade math. No wonder he wouldn't finish the work. In English, he had no idea that he was supposed to be reading a certain work that was representative of a certain kind of literature they were studying. He didn't know they were studying a certain kind of literature. They were doing all these isolated seemingly meaningless word puzzles and small group activities, but he couldn't tell me why. When the teacher told me how it all related to the the type of literature they were studying, I told her that I couldn't see how all that related, much less the kids - no wonder he hated her class and wouldn't do the meaningless work. He saw no point in art, speech, music, government and the others.
The only class he tried to do anything in was social studies because the teacher was clear about what they were covering, why, and how it related to the kids. He was also the only teacher out of 7 that knew Daniel had ADD that recognized he was having trouble focusing and tried to help him.
I don't believe homeschooing is the best option for every family but in our case it got him learning again. He's in 10th grade and working his way through Algebra 1 and understanding it! He can tell you what an intercalary chapter is in literature, give you examples, and explain the difference that it makes in The Grapes of Wrath. He didn't just read about the Trails of Tears or watch a video; we visited the Cherokee Heritage Center and studied artwork and first person accounts of what happened, as well as visit a full-scale replica Cherokee village of the late 19th century. Instead of learning about police work from a 30 minute presentation by a guest lecturer, he got to work with the Boy Scouts and the Tulsa Police Dept. that put him into some authentic police training and allowed him to assist with security at local events. Science/techonology is an everyday adventure, not 50 minutes of lecture and/or lab experiments. We can and do get lab stuff to do, but he's learned more from real life experience in the woods, in the kitchen, on the computer, and exploring things to his satisfaction instead of having to press on with a prescribed, but not terribly in-depth curriculum. I can explain to him why basic knowledge of certain things is important - and remind him over and over as need be, instead of him just being resentful that he has to do something that doesn't even interest or seem to relate to him.
Like I said, he hates school - in fact, he refuses to go back. And he avoids schooly stuff when he can. But he's learning so much more at home where we don't have to be "schooly." So creative homeschool is what works for us. |
| Posted by Kelly on 03/06/2008 09:08 AM
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| It sounds like you found the thing that works best for your son. Kudos to you. Each child is different and requires different things from us and it is up to us parents to meet those needs. I teach in a public school. My 21 year old son was not a typical student, so my husband and I chose to send him to a private school that would best fit his academic needs. He seemed to take school very seriously and needed a bit more of a challenge. He will be graduating from UGA this summer with honors and, as I'm writing this, he is in New York interviewing at NYU and Columbia for graduate school. My daughter is a sophmore in the local public school and does great in that particular environment. So I see exactly what you are saying about different needs for different children. We parents are so blessed with this huge undertaking of raising children. It is so challenging and so rewarding. I applaud you for being the type of mom that sees what's needed and follows through. Best of luck to you and your family. |
| posted by karen on 03/06/2008 10:09 AM
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| It's sound like your trying to help your son through a difficult time school can very stressful for a child that has this poblem my son has ADD and the court let him live with his dad he made it through school and he is now 20 and still can't read and write and he has a dream for himself that he don't feel he every going to be a police officer, every sense he was for that what he always want but he unable to pass any test and he trying the Navey and the Army and still can't pass the test, I feel like my hand was tided because the children was to afriad of there dad temper to speak up about what was going on at there dads, I took him to court and serval thousand of dollar I was able to get two kids out of him him the other had to stay and the youngest is now turning 13 and very depressed I'm hoping she well stay with me after the summer and stand up to her dad.The court in that State sucks and it dose know good to take him back to court the only thing i can is try and talk sense into there father head. That how the other two came to live with me and the court end up giving me custdey of the oldest girl but she was old enough and was not afraid to tell the truth about the abuse in the home. Now that my son is 20 I'm trying to get him to move here so I can help him studie to achevie his dreams. It hard for him to lieve his freinds.So all that said I just want to say your doing great to reachout and help your some while he still young. KST |
| posted by Kellie on 03/06/2008 12:10 PM
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| Kelly thanks for replying...and it's great that your son is experiencing learning in the way that's working for him! Your prior situation with him though,sounds alot like what I'm going through with my son now. I have thought to myself before that maybe, just maybe, if school starts to become more difficult of an environment to learn in, then I may consider homeschooling. I know that my 2 older kids have a little attention problem, definitely the focus.. big time for my oldest...he has always struggled with this, and now it's a problem for my daughter too..I haven't seen it in my youngest though..anyhow. I have looked into homeschooling info in the past, what did you do to get started? |
| posted by julie on 03/06/2008 01:43 PM
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The first thing to do is be familiar with your state's requirements for homeschooling. Some, like Oklahoma, are very lenient; and others are very strict.
You can check out your state's requirements at
http://www.hslda.org
I also moderate a Homeschooling Parents group here on raisingthem if you are interested in talking to more than just one person, or possibly finding someone in your state who is familiar with the requirements. |
| posted by Kelly on 03/06/2008 04:46 PM
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