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| Bilingual/Multilingual Families |
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Hello! My name is Christy...my husband is from Thailand, we met while I was in the Peace Corps there for 2 years. We've been in the US for 8 years now, and have 2 boys (4 1/2 and 2) with a girl on the way. The biggest thing we have ever fought over is the bottle. He believes they should have the bottle until college if they want. For me, it should disappear (or never even appear!) when they start getting their teeth. I couldn't nurse #1 but did #2 for a full year, and still he insists that the bottle with formula or rice milk is crucial to their development after a full year of just nursing and food. He ignores medical advice and dentist bills and says they're just culturally biased toward American sense of "rush rush rush" to independence.
Anyone have similar issues with your partner? These are culturally based beliefs- mine is that by 2 at the latest a bottle with milk is ridiculous...he would and does hold fast to his belief that I'm just following the American "timeline parenting"...!!
How do you resolve these? I just gave up. I recognize that to him it is a matter of nutrition, health, safety and to me it was just a stigmatism and embarassment to have my 4 year old pull out a bottle (although he is only allowed to use it at bedtime and with water). |
| Posted by Christine on 03/01/2008 08:37 PM
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My kids loved their bottle and it was the ritual at bed time. Sometimes it is easier to make a choice according to your kids need and don't get stuck in pre-established time line.
The day I told my kids that they were not going to get the bottle anymore, they were ready and totally ok with it.
Vero |
| posted by Vero on 03/02/2008 10:15 AM
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Hi Christine!
I agree with your husband that Americans want to put a time guideline on kids, I also agree that some parenting style and what's allowed is definitely cultural. My mom allowed me to drink warm chocolate milk in a bottle until I was 7 year old, yes you read right, 7 years old. I still remember her preparing that bottle with such love, those memories bring warm feelings. I don't think it's a big deal, other than your own embarassment infront of other mommies. My 3 year old still drinks his morning and night milk in his bottle, and I'm totally OK with that, but in the hispanic culture most parents are.
Maribel.
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| posted by Maribel on 03/02/2008 11:02 PM
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| My only major concern is the damage it did to my first son's teeth. He had 3 large cavities across his front teeth, requiring multiple trips to the dentist that sent him into hysterics. Only now at 4 1/2 is he able to let the dentist give him a yearly tooth cleaning. I don't want my other children to go down that road. My husband acknowledged this was the "downside" to comfort, and you can't deny that there are kids with teeth in such serious decay it ends up affecting speech, hygiene and peer acceptance. |
| posted by Christine on 03/03/2008 07:35 PM
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