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I knew before my kids started school that I wanted to homeschool them, mainly because I wanted to continue being the main influence in their lives and I knew that if they were gone from home 7-8 hours per day, that my influence would be greatly reduced.
But I didn't have the option of homeschooling when they were little. It wasn't until both the kids were having extremely negative social experiences at school that were interfering with their ability to focus and learn that I took them out of school. That was 7th grade for my son (he started having problems as early as kindergarten) and 5th grade for my daughter (the female bullying and queen bee syndrome started in 3rd grade.)
School is a very poor social environment. Sure they are around other kids all day but the kids are all the same age, so they don't learn about getting along with people of other ages; they are told NOT to socialize because they aren't there to socialize, and get in trouble for talking and having fun with their friends because it is disruptive; they have to wait for recess or lunch, which are very short times in which their social interactions aren't monitored and they learn all kinds of new words you don't want them to say, they learn how to treat each other unkindly, and the pass on other immature social skills because no one is teaching them more mature social skills as would happen if they were in mixed age groups.
Church, scouts, sports teams, park visits, playing with cousins or neighborhood kids outside of school hours are all much better social interactions.
I don't claim homeschooling is the best choice for all families, but if the social thing is what you are on the fence about, you really are better off keeping her at home and arranging social situations that are better for your child than school. |
| posted by Kelly on 02/22/2008 10:36 AM
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Public school is not for every child and home school isn't either. I strongly believe the best thing you can do is to listen to your child. I think if she wants to go to public school you should let her try it out. My son had wanted to go to public school for the longest time when we finally let him he was bagging us to home school him again after only a week. He is very social and I was sure he would love being in public school. Just be sure to pay close attention to your daughters’ behavior after she attends public school. She may not tell you if some thing is going on she doesn't like.
When it comes to socializing I agree with Kelly the very things she mentioned were exactly why my son wanted out. He became the bully and his attitude turned upside down in only a couple of days. Plus they gave every one the same level of work that was way too simple for my son so after finishing his work quickly he was told to sit still and quite while every one else finished he became board and got into trouble constantly.
When you think about it even when you do have your children in public school you are still obligated to teach them at home. Making sure they understand and do their home work.
Good luck with what ever you choose to do!
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| posted by lisa s on 02/22/2008 11:22 AM
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Just because you send her to preschool doesn't mean you can't homeschool when she gets to be of compulsory education age. Preschool isn't for academics. It's just "fun". And it's generally only 2 or 3 mornings a week. Preschool, to me, is more like a
moms morning out" where you know she's (hopefully) getting some benefit compared to just sitting at home with a babysitter.
Honestly, If she walks out of it learning how to write her name then that's icing on the cake but most preschool aged children aren't neurologically ready to do things like hold a pencil properly so it's not like the world will end if she can't write her name or color in the lines.
I wanted to homeschool ever since my boys were infants. I dislike the education system in this country. America is a nation of poorly educated individuals. There are 3rd world countries giving out more advanced degrees than the United States! It's frightening. Our schools are over-populated, our teachers are under-educated and under-funded and it shows in our children!
When I moved from Arizona to Indiana we put our children in private school because I wasn't sure I'd have the time to homeschool (I'm working on a PhD) and my husband was working a regular 9-5 day job. Then I got pregnant and I won't put my infant in daycare so my husband now works 4/5pm - 1am (he's a chef) and we are able to have an adult home all day.
We pulled the boys out of the private school after 2 years for various reasons. Firstly they simply refused to enrich my son's mathematics (after they had promised me over and over they would). My 9 year old (4th grader) is doing 7th grade math and they had him doing regular 1st grade math with 1st graders when he had known how to count and add/subtract for years. He was bored, he would get antsy in the classroom and be punished instead of having his curriculum enriched like they promised. This wasn't a big school -- his grade has 8 children in it total. It wasn't like the teacher was over-burdened with 25 children to teach.
Aside from that my son was tormented on a daily basis by a bully (and his cronies) with not only verbal assaults but physical violence. The school turned a blind-eye until my son finally had an emotional breakdown and ended up needing counseling for PTSD. I blame myself, partly, for not pulling him out sooner but I also blame them for not protecting him the way they were supposed to.
I am very happy to be back homeschooling and knowing that I am not only giving my children the very best education they can get but also that they can feel safe during their learning processes and make a "mistake" without someone tormenting them over it.
Honestly, I'd say send her to preschool. She'll have a good time. Preschool is *not* for academics. If she goes or doesn't go, it doesn't matter... she'll still be able to get into a good college, I promise. ;)
It's only 2 or 3 mornings a week (unless you're doing Head Start which is more like daycare than anything) and she'll have a good time. In the meantime, research homeschooling, join a homeschooling group and get to know the homeschoolers in your community and when she hits Kindergarten/1st grade age make your decision then. |
| posted by Talisman on 02/22/2008 12:52 PM
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| Like the other's have said homeschooling may not be right for all people so even if you don't go that route please don't feel like a failure because even when you send them to public school I am sure you will be teaching them things at home as well. Honestly hubby and I had talked about it a little here and there when the boy's were really little and then didn't think about it again till it was the summer before my oldest would have entered Kindergarten. My hubby actually talked to me about doing it. So I researched it (as I suggest you do) I looked up the laws about it in my state and I also looked up the different methods you could do with homeschooling and like you are doing now talked with other homeschool moms. The books at the Library helped but you also have to remember not every family is the same and every family has it's ups and downs. I don't think I truly knew we were doing the right thing till this year our third year into it to be honest. I am learning to relax and know that my boy's will learn something without me hovering over their shoulder. It's a work in progress I say. In the end you will do what is right for your family no matter what that is. Welcome to the group and I hope you enjoy it here as much as I do!!! |
| posted by Jody on 02/22/2008 08:05 PM
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kjirsten,
i have three kids. my middle child is so structured. she puts herself to bed at night and wakes up everyday at 6:30 or 7 am. she gets very angry if we are running late for school. for her homeschooling would not be approriate at this time. also i think that something about a foundation is good in the early years. it is really when they get middle school age that you have to worry.
my oldest who is in third grade this year and is gifted and will not require a lot of effort on my part. she absolutely wants to be homeschooled.
my youngest has an IEP and does attend a preschool through the district but i can tell you that he will not go to the district for elementary school (long story).
it goes by each child and more will be revealed as they grow. also kelly lee has so much drive and stamina. it takes a lot to be her (love you kelly!)......you have to figure out what you can and cannot do on your own. it is really hard to know so early on!
hey if you ever have any questions you can always pm me and i am sure others here feel the same!
best to you! |
| posted by mom on 02/22/2008 08:11 PM
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Thank you all for your advice. I have another question though, I am not the smartest chick on the block! I am afraid that I mind hinder my childrens ability of learning. That is my greatest fear that I am facing. I really do want to try it but I don't want to find out 3-4 years from now that I screwed up and that they are behind.
Help. |
| posted by Kjirsten on 02/23/2008 10:37 PM
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I'm not the smartest chick on the block in math and I've worried about that myself!
No one homeschool parent or teacher is wonderful at all the subjects. My hubby helps with things I'm not good at; I step in for my friends kids with middle school science because their mother isn't confidant she really knows what she's talking about; some homeschool groups offer coop classes; and there are killer curriculums for just about everything out there if you need them.
With a little research, I think this is a hindrance that you can overcome. |
| posted by Kelly on 02/24/2008 11:28 AM
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The public school I attended growing up is said to be the worst in my state so I really didn't learn much of any thing there. I too was afraid I wouldn't be able to teach my child. To my surprise as he got older I started learning and understanding stuff right a long with him. I did my best at keeping up with what grade levels I was teaching my son and even though others doubted me it was confirmed when we put him in public school that he was well advanced for his age. I think a lot of home school parents find that they can teach their children better than most public schools. I really don't think you have any thing to worry about. There are many different ways you can insure you’re self that you are keeping your daughter on track with what she should be learning with in her age group.
Also I believe that by homeschooling our children are given a better chance to learn at their own pace and because of this they tend to build more confidence in them selves.
Have faith and good luck!
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| posted by lisa s on 02/24/2008 12:34 PM
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| I am not the smartest person either on the block. I am awful in math buy my oldest son who is in second grade has been able to multiply small numbers since he was in first grade! You would be suprised on how much you will be learning right along side them. That's the great thing about homeschooling. You learn together as a family. My hubby also helps out to when I am working with one child he will help with the other child. I remember worrying about the same thing when we first started homeschooling but put your fears aside and you will see just how much your children learn. |
| posted by Jody on 02/24/2008 01:19 PM
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kjirsten,
are there tutoring centers in you area? listen if you can and are thinking about it, leave them in a school----are there moderately priced privates (ususally the christian and catholic schools are) in you area?-----try and get them to know the basics in reading writing and math.
my husband also helps with math.
let me tell you what i did this year. i purchased the cirriculum from laurel springs for my daughters. you can do it on a continuum while they are in regular school and they give you ample time to get it done. this way they get that extra amount of work they may be missing in regular school and you get to see if you are capable of doing it.
next, there are public charter schools that pay for everything, computer access, books, internet connection and so forth. they meet live online everyday for a virutal classroom with an actual teacher and a principal separate from the other regular schools. this teacher goes by everything step by step with the kids and again it's free. i have a lot of friends who do it this way. they are from all over southern california and they all meet to do field trips. the kids interact daily in their respective virtual classrooms. this would be the least amount of work for you. they are all over the US and cover various regions at once. you can try their website to see what is in your area. www.k12.com
this is the best advice i can give you at this time. for now what i do is take it a day at a time, have a good husband who knows math. but we are doing the continuum this year to prepare for next year. and the excellent news about the continuum is that you don't have to transfer records when they do begin as they are already enrolled in the school. (note: this is not k12.com this is laurel springs).
please feel free to pm me if you want to pick my brain.
elaine |
| posted by mom on 02/24/2008 05:03 PM
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Not to bash teachers or anything but do you really think they are the "smartest on the block"? They likely know as much as you do about most "advanced" topics and they are still seen as fit to educate our children. They aren't required to hold degrees in fields like mathematics or science or history or *insert some other field here*.
They have teachers edition textbooks for a reason. ;) |
| posted by Talisman on 02/24/2008 07:05 PM
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| Remember that your decision doesn't have to be permanent. You can decide to put her in preschool now, and then homeschool her later or vice versa. It is a big decision, but maybe you will feel less pressure about it if you think about it as a step by step process. You can start one thing, see how it is working and change your mind if you need too. |
| posted by Anna on 02/25/2008 10:57 AM
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