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| Bad Parenting Confessions |
| Public online group |
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| has anyone gone through depression? i feel so selfish. im having the hardest time getting out of this worthless hopeless feeling. I do of course take care of my children, i make sure they are ok and all needs met, but i feel like i should be paying more attention to them. instead i just fee like crying ALL DAY. how can i pull out of this? my self esteem is on the ground right now. does anyone have any tips that may have helped them? i have seen a doc and trying welbutrin |
| Posted by jaimi on 02/21/2008 06:58 PM
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Hi Jaimi,
I am so sorry that you are going through that. I honestly think that everyone goes through some form of depression, especially after having children. Okay--here's a bad parenting confession. There are actually days where I wonder whether i have made the right decision in having a child. There are sometimes when I just want to give him away to someone and there are definitely days where I do want to just sit down and cry. I don't have any tips for you because I could probably use some myself but I do understand what you are going through! |
| posted by Lalitha on 02/22/2008 02:26 PM
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| I think a lot of parents feel this way. I guess there are days when you want/need time for yourself. Is there anyone that can baby-sit once in a while so that you can have something outside the home just for yourself? I have days that I get caught up in being a mom (aka maid, laundress, cook etc.) and I forget to make time just for me. |
| posted by on 02/22/2008 02:49 PM
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Hi, Jaimi,
First of all, you're not selfish, not at all. Being a mom is, of course, a very large part of who you are, but it is not all that you are. You didn't stop being Jaimi because you had children.
That being said, I know how you feel. I suffered with depression the majority of my life. I took an antidepressant in the past, and it helped me a great deal. I haven't taken it for several months now, and I am doing okay, but I still have some symptoms from time to time, though not nearly as bad. You didn't mention if you're married. I don't want to pry, but maybe you can speak to him about how you're feeling, or a close friend, preferably someone who has children who really "gets it". I know it's hard. It seems like when I was single and didn't have children, all I saw in front of me were families. Now that I have a daughter, it seems as though everyone I know locally has either never had children or their children are grown. This website has helped me a great deal as well. I work from home, and it can be maddening sometimes being here all day with nobody to talk to but my 2-year-old. My boyfriend, her father, gets home at 5:30, and of course, he's exhausted and needs a shower, dinner, etc. Fortunately, he doesn't expect me to cook all the time and either cooks himself as well or we get takeout sometimes. Then I sit at night and go to work, but I do like the quiet.
I bowl in a league one night a week. Maybe find some type of activity like that, that would enable you to get out a little bit, even if it's only a few hours a week. It can be a real lifesaver. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you still need something that is yours, some activity, or hobby, something, that is yours, individually, outside of motherhood or wifehood (is that even a word?).
Also, don't worry if the Wellbutrin doesn't help you. There are various types of antidepressants you can try, and there isn't any one medication that works for everybody.
Anyway, sorry to ramble, but I just wanted to write and let you know that I truly understand and empathize, and you can feel free to write me any time. |
| posted by Tina on 02/23/2008 12:26 AM
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