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| Cosleeping Babywearing Breastfeeding |
| Public online group |
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so i wouldnt say i spoil my 8 mo. old son. but according to mall my family members i do. they dissagree with pretty much everything i'm doing to co sleeping feeding him baby food and tending to him when he cries.
this morning i let my son play with an old remote one that doesnt go to a tv we use and i took the batteries out of it. my step mother saw and yelled at me. i understand i dont want him playing with the ones we use. and maybe letting him play with that one was teaching him it's ok to play with remotes. but in her lecture (yes im 23 years old and i still get lectured) she told me im spoiling him by giveing him what he wants. its not like i would let him play with knifes. but come on its a remote.
and then she also tells me she thinks it wrong we co sleep as do many other of my family members. they also tell me i should put him in daycare. i feel strongly agaist daycare. i had bad experiences as a child in daycare and i just dont trust starngers with my child. i wont even let my mother in law take him without me there. im very protective i love my son and dont want anything bad to happen to him. its not like i want to put him in a bubble i would bring him to play groups and have him interacting with other children i just dont see why i cant be there to make sure he is ok.
and then one of my husband aunts told me to just stop feeding him (her advice on getting him to sleep through the night) yeah she is taken of the sitter list. and then im pretty sure they were joking(my husbands family) but they were saying that if i wasnt around they would be feeding him table food. he was 6 months at this time. absolutly no teeth and what he was allergic to something like nuts or milk or eggs. fucking retards. (sorry for the lanugue getting mad now)
i realize that maybe when they had kids this was the way. but its not anymore and it really pisses me off that they are pushing their parenting styles on me. deal with it he is my son and i will raise him how i want. and if he becomes a mommas boy so what? what is a momma boy anways? a man who repects his mother and other women, who is senstive, who knows when to ask for help, who respects his mother opnion and athourity? tell where the bad is in this. its not like when he bumps his head a little i flip out i wait to see if he cries. if he doesnt i laugh and say to him "where are you going?" he thinks its funny. but if he really hurts himself you bet im going to pick him and comfort him. if i hurt myself i would want someone to comfort me too.
my mother in law says to let him cry that babies need to cry. why? why should i just let him cry when i can help him? i dont want him to become the emtionaly shut off kind of man his father is.
sorry ladies i just had to rant this morning |
| Posted by Rebecca on 02/15/2008 10:35 AM
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| Ok, in my opinion I feel that you are 100% right and they are 100% wrong. Do your thing girl - you are a great Mama! |
| posted by on 02/15/2008 10:38 AM
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| THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SPOILING A BABY. Little ones need tons of love and attention, period. "Spoil" away! :) |
| posted by on 02/15/2008 10:38 AM
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| thanks thats i what i thought. |
| posted by Rebecca on 02/15/2008 11:05 AM
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Your right for shouwing your baby that you will be there when they need you
My fam was the same, but know my kids are a little older they see.
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| posted by carrie on 02/15/2008 12:38 PM
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| I agree. And, especially with your opinion of a Momma's Boy. I hope to God mine is one :) |
| posted by Lauren on 02/15/2008 12:40 PM
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I totally agree with you! You are doing just fine as a MOM! My oldest is a very soon to be 20 and my youngest is 8 months. A total of 6 and I still cosleep, babywear, nurse, let play with the remote and no my kids are not spoiled! THEY ARE LOVED AND KNOW THEY LIVE IN AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE THEY CAN TRUST AND BECOME INDEPENDANT PEOPLE!!!!! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!
Lisa mom of 6 in connecticut! |
| posted by Lisa on 02/15/2008 12:56 PM
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HI Rebecca
I think you are doing the right thing! No one in your family should ever meddle with the way you raise your kids. They are yours and you should do whatever you think is right for them. |
| posted by clindy on 02/15/2008 02:33 PM
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You can spoil milk. You can't "spoil" a baby.
You will hear all kinds of comments from all kinds of people about your parenting. I usually respond to stupid comments and critiques of my parenting with, "Thank you so much for pointing that out." Or "Thank you so much for your advice." While continuing to do exactly what I'm doing.
What you are doing is called attachment parenting. I don't know why attachment parenting causes so many reactions. I think that it's probably guilt from parents who didn't pay enough attention to their own children.
My parenting style is the "Say Yes!" parenting style. That means that if I am going to say "no" it is going to be for a very good reason. Like if something is dangerous. If I can't find a darned good reason for saying "no" then I am going to say yes. Give me a good reason why a child shouldn't get to play with a remote that has the batteries taken out!!!
Children are powerless enough without big people making them even more powerless. The way I see it, the fact that we are bigger pretty much gives us the responsibility for helping our little ones to do the things that they can't do by themselves. Your son is going to get plenty of lessons in not being able to get everything he wants without your help. Life is hard enough, thank you very much. A parent's job isn't to make it harder.
Children learn by play. Think of everything that your son can learn by playing with the remote! He can work on his motor skills and manual dexterity by playing with the buttons. He can learn about cause and effect (if I do this, this will happen). Etc. etc.
So just smile sweetly and say, "Thank you for your input," while handing him the remote.
As for eating table foods and going to daycare, you are his mother and you get to decide how he is going to be raised. And you're very smart to be choosy about who he stays alone with.
Keep up the good work!
Love,
Elena |
| posted by Elena on 02/16/2008 03:02 AM
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| Just wanted to add that crying is the only way that a baby has to communicate. Imagine how you would feel if you were trying to communicate something to someone and they just ignored you. Doing that is not just rude, it is mean. |
| posted by Elena on 02/16/2008 03:05 AM
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I feel for you. I am going through the same thing with my family and husband. Let her cry they say.....Umm no, I put myself in my daughters shoes. Imagine crying just wanting the person you know can make you feel better... letting you cry it out. No thank you. I want her to know I will be there. Let it out girl.
Jess |
| posted by Jess on 02/18/2008 06:57 PM
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