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| Well Id say it was normal.I get lonely all the time and I am older then you.Do you have any friends that have babies also?Do you talk w your mom closeness wise?Do you have a hubby?Do you have a playgroup that you could join w younger moms or even regular playgroup for all moms w experience that could give you ideas?www.meetup.com put in your zip code?www.cafemom.com / www.momsclub.com Now if you are lonely and depressed you might have post partum and that is normal also and you may need to tell your dr.Some women get that and they get on a slight med for a few months or maybe counseling as to why you are feeling that way.Thereis nothing wrong w admitting that to your dr.There are several forums here where you can ask frall kinds of advice.Gawd knows youll see me tying all the time lol.Dont be shy.Hope this helps you. |
| posted by Lexi on 02/09/2008 01:02 AM
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Dear Linda,
Lexi is right, what you are 'feeling' is normal. The difference is how long you feel like this and how you react to it.
First, check with your doctor for any blood work change, when was your last physical, low iron/sodium/ all kinds of things can disrupt your brain chemical balance.
Second, check your emotional resources, like Lexi asked, look up library, Mom groups, church groups, friends, relatives ( I didn't have any, so I know what that is like so an aquaintance invited me to M.O.P.S. Mothers of Preschoolers).
If you aren't connected to any of these you will have to make yourself get connected. Call around to libraries and churches or if you receive and assistance like W.I.C. women,infants and children, the caseworkeer should be able to give you names & numbers.
Third, check your finances, do you have a checking & savings account in your name? Every woman should, and that's a fact! Even if you only put in $1.00 a week or your collected change each month, you need something to empower yourself. At 19 you may have another 60 yrs to live and statistics show that you will be paying your own bills for most of it with or without a man in your life.
Finally, check your spirituality, do you have a faith? Ask your self what you believe in and how do you worship (worship = how you demonstrate your beliefs to your faith). If you are uncertain, call around and make appts. with different pastors/preists and ask them questions about what their church does and believes.
Some people may say to do this first, but I'm a realist (practical to a fault :) so I'm making this list from the worst case scenario. Please forgive me if I have step over any boundries. My sister was your age when she had her first child. She is now in her late forties and has finally gotten her life to the point where she is somewhat happy. |
| posted by Tina on 02/09/2008 07:56 AM
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| Im 24 and stay home with both my boys 5 years and 3 weeks, i get lonely at times with 2 boys, Sometimes its nice to have an adult to talk to and do things with. I have a husband but he works alot so I am here by myself most of the time. I understand what you mean i was 19 with my first child. It's hard. My mom kept telling me that i was suppose to go out have fun do what most people my age did, but alot of people i knew didn't and still don't have kids and my boys are first. |
| posted by angela on 02/09/2008 10:08 AM
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i'm 36 and stay home with our 2 1/2 year old and 4 year old. first of all, good job being there for the kidlet! secondly, you're normal. we've only had our sons for 6 months and the first two months i was too overwhelmed to be lonely. then i started adding activities in, so now we're too busy for me to be lonely much. however, i MISS hanging out with my friends, grabbing a cup of coffee, going shopping, etc, just me and my girls. remember, though, this season doesn't last forever. it will be better when your baby is in school and eventually you'll be soooo lonely without your baby. i know it feels really far away now, but you can do it!
i'd suggest adding in a mom's group or a regular "date" with another mom or two. also, take some time for yourself. during naptime, do something just for you! |
| posted by Christina on 02/09/2008 11:03 AM
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| I feel lonely too, and I am 29. On top of being home all day, We moved from NJ to PA, all of my family is in NJ, all of my friends are in NJ, not that we connect anymore, because they have no kids, and are not interested in hearing about teething or playgroup. It is so hard to meet other parents here, especially because we live in a private community in the Poconos, and a lot of the homes in here are vacation homes. I go to play group once a week. I miss my husband so much during the week, he works from 9:30 am in NJ and sometimes does not get home from work until 11 or 11:30 being that he picks up extra hours wherever he can. I worked with people all day, I am a CDA/RDA, and I hope to go back to that when Mikayla starts school. I know how important my job is to be here for her though, and as she gets older she is more my little buddy, and we are going out doing more things. I still miss talking to adults, and going to lunch with my girlfriends, but I am so proud of the person Mikayla is becoming because I am here to teach her. When the winter is over, and the park is an option, you will meet other parents there, and playgroups are a good place to meet parents, and you can even set up a weekly playdate with one of the parents. It is however very normal to feel this way, and it is what they would call in the workforce an occupational hazard, lol. |
| posted by on 02/09/2008 12:31 PM
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| Well i don't feel like that all the time just sometimes but i do my best so i don't get dipress.I play with him and do thing wth him.So is not like i dislike my baby,it is just that i think i need to meet more moms or to talk to more people. I do talk to my mom a lot we are very close.She dose her best to call me an check up on me she dosen't live very far from me but some time it feel like she dose. I started to work for a few weeks to see if that would help an it did so now i am try to fine work again. |
| posted by Linda on 02/09/2008 01:18 PM
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| Well you have all of us; but I know that isnt the same as 1 on 1.I missed my friends so bad in Texas.I just prayed to God to send me just 1 friend and he did.Youll feel better when you get into a playgroup.If you are working now ;try and mention that you are looking for ppl to meet w children and I bet a mom would love to teach you what she knows.The library is a wonderful place to meet moms.Ask your local library when book time for toddlers are and I bet youll meet loads of mommies.Im in a bookclub at my library.I started it.My first meeting is soon and I cant wait.Dont be shy.You tell ppl what you would like to do. |
| posted by Lexi on 02/09/2008 04:18 PM
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| At times I feel the same as well but I went to meetup.com and found a really nice and active playgroup so it is getting much better. My husband works about 60 hours a week so I am at home a lot with my son and soon to be daughter. I hope things get better :) |
| posted by Heather on 02/10/2008 01:23 PM
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| I feel lonely alot, my hubby is here during the day, but he works nights, I just miss adult conversation, and people to hang out eith that has kids |
| posted by Natasha on 02/12/2008 10:40 AM
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