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| Parents of Teens |
| Public online group |
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| When,what age do you approach your child about the importance of being pure when you get married?Or do you believe that you should live and test the waters w a guy first? |
| Posted by Lexi on 02/05/2008 01:35 PM
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| This is a hard topic. Things are so different today then when I was a teenager. My husband and I really work to keep the lines of communication open with our son. We want him to know he can come to us and talk about anything. of course the topic is not always an easy one but we always answer his questions. When we talk about sex with him we always relate it back to our Christian values. We have raised him with good values and the ability to make good decisions and we have to trust him to continue to make the right decisions. |
| posted by Jane on 02/05/2008 02:05 PM
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Okay, even my friends say I'm an open-minded mama; so here goes... We start talking about sex and relationships, even virginity, EARLY! I mean we have 'Momma Laid an Egg,' 'Where Did I Come From," as some of the bathroom reading books for the kids. We have different books for different developmental stages and strongly support open dialogue and honesty about sex. My kids probably know more about sexuality and how their bodies work to a greater degree than some adults. In fact, we have some friends who come out of the bathroom, giggling about the things they learned while in there!
The reason my husband and I chose to do this was because of the work I've done in this community that has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the country. The statistics against teen parenthood are overwhelming barriers for young parents. As a mother of boys-only I could easily put my head in the sand, but I firmly believe that my boys are and should be responsible for their actions. With that in mind, I also hold the personal belief that it is a disservice to ignore the hormonally-obvious, what they don't know could hurt themselves and others. If I expect my children to grow into respectful men, I feel it's important to help them understand how/why they can make responsible choices. That's why we start sex-ed so early - so it won't be a weird uncomfortable discussion in their teenage years - it's already normalized.
I realize this is a pretty radical approach, like I said, even my friends tease me about it!
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| posted by mamakats on 02/05/2008 02:35 PM
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| We've talked about purity from a young age as well. With the openness of the media about it, it just seemed logical to explain our beliefs as the opportunity arose. That doesn't guarantee that they are going to respect our wishes (I didn't respect MY parent wishes), but at least they have a foundation from which to decide instead of being faced with the decision having had no guidance. |
| posted by Kelly on 02/05/2008 04:28 PM
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We also started early. We also pointed out the differences of the lifestyles that were obviously apparent between those that do and don't have sex early. My daughter & son also have worked during their teen years in a farm mkt. where they saw the pregnant teens & boyfriends struggle making purchases with coupons they received from WIC & DSS.
We also have them volunteer for Angel tree at Christmas time and they see many many poor young people.
All of things we point out on a regular routine over their lifetime. We are also extremely honest about all of our mistakes and how it has affected us for years, personally, financially and emotionally, with friends, material possessions EVERYTHING!
Now both of our young adults have a much better education in that area than we ever did. |
| posted by Tina on 02/05/2008 08:28 PM
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| I dont think that Saras mom has had that talk w her yet.Shes very hush hush about things like that.Should I?Is it my place as a sm?My daughter is 9 and 1.5.I guess maybe after reading your inputs,I'll ask the hubby if we should talk to the kids about it. |
| posted by Lexi on 02/06/2008 01:00 PM
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We began talking to our son when he was 12 years old. He has seen it with his own eyes, teenagers in the neighborhood getting pregnant, and it really affected him. He could not understand why someone would do that to themselves now, rather than enjoying life with your peers.
There is 10 years between his sister and him. Watching us raise the little one, the financial responsibility really has made him aware that it is not so easy to have a child let alone be in their life. |
| posted by esther on 02/06/2008 06:26 PM
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| This is not any easy subject to explain to kids. But I feel that it should be discussed at a young age considering that it is everywhere. I plan to talk to Emilie as she gets older and starts to ask questions, I figure I will get her some books too. As for my step kids, I feel that their bio parents should be talking to them about it. My man has and still talks to his son about this stuff, and everything that can come from it. Of coarse I would like them all to wait as long as possible before having sex. |
| posted by on 02/06/2008 10:44 PM
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| Already had a talk with our son about sex subject. I am just starting now to inform my daughter about it..but for some reason I am more concerned..maybe it's because she's a girl and there's alot women have to know about more than just the sex topic, like periods and pregnancy! I have to tell you I was dumbfounded when I asked my daughter how babies are born and she didnt know! My gosh I felt horrible like I didnt teach her enough. |
| posted by julie on 02/20/2008 08:14 AM
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