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| Parents of Teens |
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Up through last year (when he was 14), whenever anyone would mention Daniel leaving a home and having a family of his own, he would possesively put an arm around me and say that he was never going to leave home. He was going live with his mom forever and take care of her. He said this a lot! Of course, we all knew that while he meant it at the time, he would eventually move out and have a family.
But I didn't expect how heartbroken I'd be when he started thinking about moving out and talking about it. We've all said at one time or another since he's been 15, that he said he was going to stay home all his life and take care of his mother. He says he doesn't ever remember saying that!
I'm glad my man-in-training is feeling more independent and has confidence that he can handle things on his own when he's old enough; but I'm sad that he needs me less (or rather in a different way) than he needed me before. I suppose I'll get used to it after a few more tears. |
| Posted by Kelly on 04/04/2007 05:05 PM
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| I always used to say that I wanted a home big enough that my children and thier spouses could live with me...now I just want them close to me! LOL I have issues with control, and I am learning to let go a bit, and have found that if I keep my kids here, it's just my way of controlling them, not in a harmful way, just in a motherly way. Does that make sense? I have recently began to let my 14 yr old do her own laundry and I have let my husband load the dishwasher...sounds weird huh? I just like things done a certain way and I really dont mind doing it all, but I have found that if I dont let go, they will never learn and I dont want them being dependant on others. Not sure how this relates to your OP Kelly, but I guess it's just my morning random thoughts. |
| posted by Shawna on 04/05/2007 07:28 AM
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Kids growing up, that's how it relates!
Don't worry if you think your thoughts are rambling; the rest of probably won't notice because our brains are so rattled from everyday life, too! |
| posted by Kelly on 04/05/2007 09:47 AM
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| I agree with both of you. (LOL) Shawna, I have a control issue as well, but I am learning to realease the grip a little at a time. (LOL) Kelly, you're also right about our brains being rattled from everyday life. I know mine is. (LOL) |
| posted by Cassandra on 04/06/2007 01:44 PM
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| Oh my that sounds like me...control issues. But just in a motherly way. I still won't let my DS use a steak knife at the kitchen table and HE'S IN BOY SCOUTS. lol...When they were showing off their knives at a camp out, my poor DS watched as others pulled their big butcher knives, army swiss knives out. Then it was time for DS to pull out his and out came an itty bitty file-like knife. Everyone giggled! Even a cub scout had a bigger knife than he did. Of course, my DH bought him a knife, and guess what I did....I hid it. Worries me too much! Yeah, you can call me controlling, but in motherly way...:-) |
| posted by Sugar L... on 04/10/2007 02:38 PM
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| I am having problems letting go as well!! My oldest son is almost 24 yrs old and living on his own with his girlfriend about a half hour from me. If I had my way he would be living with me now! I miss him so! I still bail him out of financial problems such as helping him with his rent or gas money and sometimes I make meals for them cause I know they don't have any money for food alot of the time. He makes a pretty good paycheck (his girlfriend works part-time as a waitress) but they never seem to have enough money to get food never mind paying rent or other bills. I keep telling him that he will have to sit down with me and come up with a budget before I give him anymore money but he won't do it and I still keep giving him money. I can't say no to him! My son keeps saying he'll pay me back but very seldom does. I think he must owe me thousands of dollars by now. My husband doesn't always know about the money I give my son. My husband would, and has been, very upset with me for this but I don't know how to tell my son no. I still feel like I need to take care of my son. I also have a 26 yo daughter (who is married and living a good life), a 14 yo stepdaughter (lives with her mother), and my husband and I have a 7 yo son together. How can I cut the umbilical cord and say no to giving my grown son money without feeling like the worst Mom in the world? |
| posted by Cheryl on 04/15/2007 10:46 AM
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