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| Parents of 'Difficult' Children |
| Public online group |
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| Ok, so my daughter is 15 months old. She is very bright, and very active, she doesn't stop from the time she wakes until the time she goes to sleep. I took her to her mommy and me class this morning, this is her fifth class always on a wednesday at 10 am. Lately she has been getting very fresh. When she hears the word "NO" it sends her into a tailspin. She crys and screams. Well mommy and me was no different, except it was worse, far worse than it has been with the tantrums. I am not super mom, nor do I claim to be, I feed her balanced foods, and limit her sugar to fruits and animal crackers only. I am firm when I need to be and tell her no without yelling but in a firm voice. We do not spank, and we praise her very much when she does good things, which is also a lot. She doesn't behave like the other kids do in mommy and me. The other kids pick the toys up when they are done and put them away, and Mikayla is the kid still pulling the toys out of the basket as the instructor is putting it away. She grabbed a drum stick today and started swinging it, and other mothers were pulling their kids away from her for fear of their kids getting hurt, I took the drum stick from her and told her no, she proceeded to flip out, throw herself on the floor kicking and screaming, I mean the kind of high pitched screaming that irratates dogs. The other mothers looked at me like I was beating her or as if to say control your kid will ya. I was so embarrased, because I had no clue how to control her. I ended up in tears packing her up to leave 20 minutes into a one hour class, all the while Mikayla was throwing the tantrum from hell. How do you dicipline a 15 month old properly? I tell her no and usually she either looks at me and does it anyway, or throws a tantrum. Her tantrums before today were mild to say the least, and we ignore her when she does it so she does not think the tantrum is gaining her any type of attention. Please any ideas are welcome, I am really lost on this one. |
| Posted by on 01/30/2008 05:37 PM
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My heart goes out to you, this age is hard to deal with because there really is so little you can do. I will never forget the first time my eldest son through a HUGE fit in Sears when he was just under two and I wanted to dissapear into the floor. You are actually doing the best thing, once she starts the fit walk away. If your out shopping or in a class, the best thing to do is to stop the moment she starts and go to the car. If at all possible do not speak to her, just set her in the seat, and go to your seat. Ideally you should try to sit it out, read a book or magazine or work on a craft, something that says your too busy to let a fit stop your day and then once she stops go back to what you were trying to do, but I know that is easier said than done. If that is not possible just go home and do not give ANY attention while she is having a fit. My oldest son has a great number of issues stemming from being bi-polar that are embarresing, but temper tantrums are not one of them. He stopped after a month or two of realizing that they accomplish nothing, I continued with other activities and he got no attention. Also, an irregular schedule could be causing issues too, but I have a feeling by what you wrote that you know that and have a pretty regular schedule! Just try to stay possitive and focus on all of your daughters many wonderful qualities!! Hope this helps
Tina |
| posted by Tina on 01/30/2008 05:58 PM
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| Sounds like you are doing the right things. She will soon know that the temper tantrum doesn't gain her anything except no attention. If attention is what she wants, then she will soon learn that is not the way to get it. As for the Mommy and me class, you may even put her on your lap facing away from you and sit out so that she can see the activities that are going on, but she doesn't get to participate until she calms down. If you are consistant, you should see an improvement. Do be aware, that you will probably see an increase in the behavior first because she is going to test the limits and see if screaming louder and throwing a bigger fit will get the job done. When she sees that she doesn't get to do something fun, she will probably cool it rather quickly. |
| posted by Jennifer on 01/30/2008 06:55 PM
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