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| First Time Moms |
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| I unfortunately had to return to work when my now 3 month old daughter was 8 weeks old. I have her in a daycare that is in the provider's home. The daycare provider does have other employees working there. I have had some minor issues since placing my daughter there, but after talking to the provider about these issues, they have been handled. I still can't help but wonder if my child is being taking care of like I would if I were there with her. How can I tell if my child is happy or unhappy with the daycare? |
| Posted by Tiffany on 01/16/2007 10:34 AM
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| I would never judge you, or your situation, since I don't know you but put yourself in your daughter's situation--if you were here, would you pick mommy or would you pick strangers at daycare? I used to teach preschool that was attached to the daycare and I can tell you that 90% of the staff at any given daycare is unqualified and not too smart. I would venture a guess that your child, who has only been in the world for 3 months, is probably unhappy with daycare because she wants to be with her mom. My husband and I were faced with a similar situaion, however before we ever put our 4 month old in daycare we sat down, looked at our finances, and decided where we could make cuts so I could stay at home with her. We had to make significant sacrifices in lifestyle (can't shop at Ann Taylor anymore, moved to a smaller house, etc.) but I know if my daughter could speak she would choose to stay at home. I know I would if I were here! I hope I haven't offended you, but think of how small she is and how much she needs her mom. Daycare is not what she would choose. |
| posted by Briana on 01/16/2007 01:05 PM
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| Staying at home is not an option for me, there are just too many "cuts" that would have to be made to make that feasible. I don't want to be made to feel bad because I have to work too. This does not mean that I love my daughter any less. I in no way think that she is being abused or neglected at daycare, or I would have yanked her out ASAP, but just want to make sure I can recognize the signs if she is unhappy. |
| posted by Tiffany on 01/16/2007 02:55 PM
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| I would look for signs like.......is she eating well for you, is she sleeping okay, is she more fussy or crying more than she did prior to daycare? She is still so tiny that it will be harder to tell, but she will most likely act more uneasy if she is unhappy. I really feel for your situation, I had the same choice to make and it was very difficult. We actually ended up moving, not just to a different home, to a different state. We based our decision to move on the fact that I wanted to stay home and where we were living was very expensive and no matter how much we cut out it was not going to work. You have to do what works for you and is in your family's best interest. You being her Mother will take better care of her than anyone else because you are her Mother and no one else feels the same way as you do about your child. Unfortunately that is just the reality of daycare. However, you are providing her with your care as much as possible and there is nothing wrong with that. If this situation does not work out you may want to try and find someone who could come to your home and is one-on-one with her. This way she is in her own home and getting individual attention (this was my plan before we moved and it really helped make me feel more at ease). Good luck! |
| posted by Colleen on 01/16/2007 04:18 PM
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I get to stay home with my daughter for three months. I am really excited about it but like many many people in todays society I will be returning to work. It is hard to have someone else playing the part you feel is yours. And to not know what goes on when you are not there can be scary. I am already having this anxiety so I completely understand. As a former educator I think I would sit in on part of a day to see how she interacts and how she behaves at the daycare. Of course the employees will be different in your presence but you will get a small understanding of how she feels about being there.
Please know that staying at home isn't an option for many and for others it is an option that they opt out of.
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| posted by claudia on 02/05/2007 11:40 PM
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| Thank you so much for your reply. I often get the evil eye or negative thoughts/words from moms who stay home with their children. I see it has being so unfair to me. Working does not make me any less of a mother, or a bad one either! It is good to know I am not alone in my world of motherhood!! |
| posted by Tiffany on 02/06/2007 09:47 AM
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| Tiffany, you poor thing!!!! I was the child of a working mother. Unfortunately, my father cheated on her and they split and if we were going to eat then my mother had to go to work. I turned out just fine. Bless your heart - DO NOT let anyone make you feel bad about the decision you have made. Of course you would stay home if you could and you are not excited about sending your daughter to daycare. I am VERY fortunate and get to stay home with my son but my husband and I struggle every month and if we were not fortunate enough for him to have the great job he does, I would have had to have gone back to work and I cannot imagine the heartbreak that would have cause me. I know you would stay home if you could and your daughter knows you love her and you are still the best mommy she will ever know and she will love you more than anything in this world. DO NOT let anyone make you feel bad about going to work out of necessity!!! |
| posted by Christy on 02/06/2007 09:52 PM
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| I understand where you are coming from. Can you visit her at lunch or pay surprise visits? My Son has been in daycare for 4mths. I am not happy at all about working. I am actually really depressed about it but, I am scared of losing my income. Thank god I have a grea care provider for my Son. I visit him each day at lunch. Is your daugther happy when you pick her up? Is she eating? Is she clean? You will know if something is not right. Mother's instinct! |
| posted by Kimberly on 03/14/2007 09:29 AM
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| My husband & I decided to switch daycare because we were just not satisfied with the services we were receiving (or the lack of). Since moving I feel much better about the situation. I do stop by the daycare unannounced when I can to check on her. She seems happy there and is clean when I pick her up! |
| posted by Tiffany on 03/14/2007 02:26 PM
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| I will have to return to work when my son is 2 months old. I wish I didn't have to send him to daycare, but I feel good about the one we've chosen. I've visited unannounced several times and the kids all seem happy, clean and well fed. It is up the street from my mom's work, so she will be stopping by on her lunch hour several times a week. I don't like leaving him with my husband, so it's going to be a huge adjustment sending him to daycare! |
| posted by cathy on 03/17/2007 08:44 AM
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