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| Stay at Home Moms |
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| Who in the hell came up with "the dad only needs to see his children only 4 days a month?"It clearly states that it is sooo important for children to have an equal amount of influence on their kids.I think that is why society is partly the way it is now.These children are our futures and look at what turmoil they are in.I do not think that it is fair for the women to have them full-time.The man reguardless ,needs to buck up and be a man and have them the same amount of time as the woamn.Every other week is what I vote for.That way ,no man can shuck his responsibilities for being a father!What do you think?Be honest and truthful. |
| Posted by Lexi on 01/22/2008 12:24 PM
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| i whole heartedly agree with you even every weekend would be okay every so often and i don't think it would hurt to have the father volunteer once in a while when the woman wants to go out on a date gees |
| posted by judi on 01/22/2008 12:31 PM
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| Here we go, we had my step monster full time and you know where it got me. Mother's are also to blame for this, a lot of mothers keep the kids for the simple fact of getting child support, I know a few like thatm my hubbies ex is like that. He is an inconvienience to her but having him there means she can now go buy new clothes, and a new car. She gets enough in child support, and she is not spending it on him. A lot of men are stepping up to the plate and fighting for custody of their kids, and a lot more judges are awarding them custody or at least half and half. It also depends on the guy and how he views the child, if he was suckered into a child because someone said they were on birthcontrol and they were dumb enough to believe it, they now look at the child as a mistake, not a choice they made. Some people like to have as little remembrance of the mistakes they made as possible. It is going to sound awful to a lot of people, but you know my situation and the stuff my step monster/stepson did. My hubby has very limited contact with him, as he is also scared of what the little goblin is capable of. He views his son very differently after all was said and done, I am sure he loves him, but he has thrown in the towel on trying to deal with him. |
| posted by on 01/22/2008 12:33 PM
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| I think that Dads definitely are just as important in their kids lives as Moms. My husband goes away on (military) a week at a time occasionally and our son, even at one year old, has problems sleeping, will not let me leave the room, etc, when Daddy is gone. It has a huge effect on him. That being said.... I think that every other week is HORRIBLE for a child. They need stability, even if it means that they don't see Dad (or Mom) as often as they 'should'. The bottom line is that if you have a child, married, divorced, single.. whatever, your life revolves around that baby for the next 18 years. Mom OR Dad. If this means that you have to get along and be friends with your ex so that your child grows up with what they need, then so be it. Maybe child is at Mom's during the week but Dad picks them up from school, visits until Mom gets home and spends weekends with Dad. I know that obviously it doesn't work this way, like, ever, but, as parents it is our duty, like it or not. |
| posted by Lauren on 01/22/2008 01:08 PM
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| In the case of half-custody in our house,the person who makes more money has to pay a dividend of their pay checks to the spouse.When hubby and his wife were working,at different shops,she made more then him so they made her pay him 18 dollars a week.Now that he only makes a fraction of what she does ,shed have to pay him nearly 50 bux a week for us to have her here every other week.I have Sara all summer and she goes to her moms on the weekends;and because of that during the winter we make her mom take her for 3 months and she is suppose to come here every weekend.Thats why we are having problems w her right now.The taste of freedom at her moms house for 3 months and not coming here on the weeknds; instead going w her friends; is causing tons of turmoil in my house hold. |
| posted by Lexi on 01/22/2008 01:11 PM
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| I am not getting it, so guys haven't really seen her in three months even though you are supposed to? BTW I posted a bunch of new pic on my page! |
| posted by on 01/22/2008 01:16 PM
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| Well just think what 4 days out of the month would do to your son.That isnt stable or healthy.Why doesnt dad want to be w me more?What did I do wrong?Does he not love me?Is it my fault?I talked to differnet ppl about 4 days a month parenting.The children wonder why they cant see their mom/dad more.All they do is take me out and buy me things.All I wanted was to know that they loved me and why cant I be w em more?My son had alot of friends come over and the church we went too.They all said the same thing.When the parents got remarried and had kids they really felt betrayed.If they were there 7 on and 7 off I dont think they would have felt so bad growing up.My opinion though. |
| posted by Lexi on 01/22/2008 01:17 PM
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| What do you think? |
| posted by Lexi on 01/22/2008 08:15 PM
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Oh my god. First of all I know there are unplanned babies. But how in the world can a parent look at them and see and mistake. They are a gift from god and should be treasured. I think it is horable that you call your stepson a monster. Yes he probably has problems and lots of anger but he his not born with that. Something is going on that is the parents mistake. This child is be abused emotionally and not getting the secerty he needs. He feels your ngativity against him as well as his fathers. It is only going to get worse it you don't get him help now. I really feel sorry for this little boy. He has resentment all around him and feels it everyday. He wants attention and will get it in anyway he can. I am sorry if this offends you or anyone. I know I do not know you situation very well. But it makes me very angry to here people talking about children this way. They are what we make them.
As for the fathers role, yes they should be involved. How we do that is beyond me every man is different. I try to go out with the girls once a month. On the weekends my husband watches them It's more like a team effort
I hope I did not offend anyone just keep in mind your children here and feel every thing.
Valerie
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| posted by Valerie on 01/23/2008 02:31 PM
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| Valerie, you really need to know the situation before you pass judgement, really. You know nothing of what we went through here, and yes some kids are just not right from the get go. |
| posted by on 01/23/2008 02:57 PM
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| To make a long story short, The kid is a nut. I treated him as if he were my own, he lived with us. I changed pissy sheets when he wet the bed, I used to bath him, I did his laundry, took him everywhere. I had my daughter, and he started doing things to hurt her. I mean serious things that could have killed her. We tried getting him psychological help, he snowed therapists, was thrown out of therapy because he was was caught blatently lying. His mother is bipolar manic depress. I used to have to sleep with one eye open to make sure he didn't sneak into my daughters nursery at night, which he had done in the past. I woke up to him staring in my face, just straing in my face, after I knew had loicked the bedroom door. I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder because of this little whacko, so please do not assume to know that love cures all children, because he had all of my attention and love and time, and it still did nothing for him. He was happiest hurting people. Very manipulative. I wouldn't be surprised one day to see a wanted poster up with his face on it, he is the next Jeffrey dohmer in the making. I haven't even begun to mention what he does toi small animals. |
| posted by on 01/23/2008 03:05 PM
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I was not passing judment, I did say I dont't know the whole story. It just breaks my heart. I am sorry what you had to go through. My fear as I am sure yours is that if he does not get help he really is going to kill someone. I admit that I want to see good in all people especially children. I have never really come acoss a truely born evil child and I hope I never have to. Good luck
I truly hope he gets help for everybodys sake
Valerie |
| posted by Valerie on 01/23/2008 03:30 PM
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| Hi. I am new here, so I will be tactful. My stepson is well, not wrapped to tight. I too, allowed him into to my home and accepted him as my own, until he hurt my daughter. In addition to the unbelievable things he did to her, he hurt me and my son, saying he wished we were dead. My husband did not believe his son could do these things, causing serious problems in our marriage. I had to put my foot down, and tell him the kid could come, only if the father was there every minute of the day. I went to therapy, my kids did, and everyone turned it into Children Youth and Services, including me. Nothing was done, so this kid is not getting the help he needs. Sad, but I have no say, the only thing I can do is protect my kids. My husband now believes it and he really has a hard time maintaing a relationship. His son lives in a different state, so we don't have to deal with him very much. |
| posted by Melinda on 01/28/2008 12:13 PM
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| Believe me Melinda, I know exactly what you went through and probably still go through because of this child. |
| posted by on 01/28/2008 12:25 PM
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