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| Adoptive Families |
| Public online group |
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Starting the process is very frustrating and alot to be done
It feels like your just filling out paper work and doing interviews and the day will never come that you get your child and your dream begins.
Adoption is so different to having your own natural child there is fear and a bigger adjustment but still worth it.
Some Adopt from from here in America (Domestic) Some Adopt through the Foster System and Some go to other countries
I am going to Moscow
Any one else travelling or starting or thinking of starting
Ask all the Questions
Deirdre |
| Posted by Deirdre on 01/18/2008 08:39 AM
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we're almost to finalization with adopting our sons through the foster care system. just a few more months. . . and we're starting to think about the next family growth phase.
the paperwork and interviews are frustrating, so is the wait. then i started thinking "well, it's kinda like i'm paper pregnant, most women wait 9 months after they find out. . ." our boys were matched with us about 2 months after we were licensed, and by the time we finalize it will be right at 9 months. . . but they've been in our home for 5 already. we started our classes just over a year ago, so it's like trying for a few months? that makes ME feel better, don't know if it helps you. |
| posted by Christina on 01/18/2008 12:46 PM
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How old are your boys and the rules here are different we had a new born for 1 year they offered adoption and then when he turned 1 he went back to his mam
I wont go trough the foster system we are in the paperwork for moscow
Deirdre |
| posted by Deirdre on 01/18/2008 01:02 PM
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my boys are 2 1/2 and 4. parental rights were already terminated, it was an adoptive placement. prior to the boys we had 2 little girls for 5 1/2 weeks who went back to their mom. when you take a newborn, unless birthparents have signed away rights, it is always a legal risk adoption. the parents generally have at least 18 months to work their case plan, so you never know.
i think different types of adoptions are hard in different ways, and i hope you didn't feel i was suggesting that you change your course of action. that's between YOUR family, and what's right for us is not necessarily right for you. (i can't imagine going to moscow, personally!)
our social worker said that our situation is one of the fastest she's ever seen. we feel very blessed that we didn't have a child in our home for a long term before having them return to their parents. |
| posted by Christina on 01/18/2008 01:52 PM
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Hi Christina
I agree with your social worker I think after we get the baby I will then maybe consider an older child with the foster program
Did you do MAPP thats what they call it here and after you finished course you fostered yes? here you have foster for 6 months
How did you get social worker as we are not offered any adoption advise at all
Deirdre |
| posted by Deirdre on 01/18/2008 03:28 PM
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yes, we had the MAPPs. we were licensed as foster to adopt. in ohio you can be straight foster or foster to adopt. with foster to adopt you can do either. we CAN NOT finalize until our sons have been in our home for six months. so, that's most likely the 6 months they're referring to.
once you are licensed in your county you can adopt FROM ANY COUNTY IN THE COUNTRY. that means if you want to go to alaska, florida or new hampshire, you can. however, it is hard to get into the network outside of where you live.
our social worker was assigned through the county we went through. we're pretty lucky with who we got, she's great. honestly, though, i learned more by reading books and talking to other adoptive/foster parents. |
| posted by Christina on 01/18/2008 04:00 PM
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We do private adoption facilitated by an attorney in the state that we adopt from. Our first adoption was a transracial (full AA) adoption of a little boy who had been with his first mom for 2 1/2 mo. before she decided to place.
We are matched with a second EMom who due in August. This will also be a transracial (full AA) adoption. We and our atty feel pretty good about this match. She has placed a baby with our atty before.
We had to do a homestudy which included a few classes (nothing like fostadopt) and a lot of paperwork. Our paperwork went straight to the homestudy agency--did not have to be carried around and validated by different govt. offices, etc.
Our costs are:
-the cost of the homestudy (around $4000),
-the cost of the adoption plan which includes the atty fees and support for the EMom ($15K for our first adoption and ± $20K for our second adoption),
-travel to the other state,
-hotel/food costs while waiting for the birth and then after while waiting for ICPC.
For our second adoption we only have to update the existing homestudy. |
| posted by Elena on 01/18/2008 08:44 PM
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Hey Christinna And elani
You have both gone completly different ways I will look into foster adopt again after Moscow as we are invested in that now but here in New York well the county i live in where impossible to get any info from they only want to deal with foster so I am going to question that
I was very nervous about doing adoption with a pregnant woman as 2 lawyers both said they are legally allowed change there minds at the end which may me very nervouse as the cost. I also wanted the youngest I could get as I guess my yearning for a baby got even stonger after raising who I call my liitle guy (even though he is not) for the year and also wanted a child of my race so I guess we really all made our own personaal decissions
Deirdre |
| posted by Deirdre on 01/18/2008 09:18 PM
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| Forgot to add that we had to pay another couple of K's to the county for the postplacement visit and report. |
| posted by Elena on 01/18/2008 09:25 PM
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| And had to travel back to the state where DH was born for the finalization. |
| posted by Elena on 01/18/2008 09:26 PM
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I would love to hear from start to finish elena how you got started but it seems our prices are the same just were going further I know this has ended up getting me thinking between you and Christina I will have the possibillity of a second child and I dont want to go to moscow each time
Deirdre |
| posted by Deirdre on 01/19/2008 03:31 PM
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