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Yes, Since I requested a few less hours (10) my job duties have changed drastically (from accounting/HR manager to Office Coordinator) and now I am called upon to do the bottom of the barrel tasks. I feel like I am going to explode with anger. Yet, I leave at 3:30 each day (versus 5:30) and I have Fridays off. I can't seem to adjust to the idea of not being important at work even though I am doing such important work at home. Sorry to vent so early. I just joined.
=( Malena |
| posted by Malena on 12/19/2007 05:26 PM
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| I have always loved teaching. I thought it was great to be in the classroom being involved in the education process but since I have had children I resent not being able to spend time with my own children. I find myself exhausted when I get home and not wanted to give my own children the benefits of my experiences and my knowledge in the field. I want to be home with my children. While I am at work I am a babysitter, a police officer, a psychologist, and a mother to other children and most of the time I don't even get to be a teacher. When I try to get parents involved, the majority of them are less than interested to be involved in the lives of the children they have given birth to. It is pitiful. Unfortunately my husband did not choose a career that alloted me the benefits to be a stay at home mom. I am the primary bread winner in the family (should have listened to my mother and married rich instead of for love). I don't have regrets but I do resent those parents who don't take the time to be parents. As exhausted and frustrated as I am I still come home and be a mother for the few hours I get to play mommy. I sit and play with them and try my best to engage in activities with them. |
| posted by Lauren on 12/19/2007 07:31 PM
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Lauren,... I could have written what you wrote EXACTLY. You could not have explained any better how I feel. I feel like I give and give and give at home and work,... and there is nothing left over for me. I am SO glad that I am not alone.
Debbie |
| posted by Deb on 12/20/2007 05:34 AM
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It would be nice that a work place would be more accommodating and ultimately civilized about working mothers. Someone has to raise the employees of tomorrow!
Isn't better to have a mother at home when the kids finish school so that you can fulfill both roles?
As a society we really have to rethink our socio-economic balance because the women but ultimately the children are paying the price.
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| posted by Vero on 12/20/2007 09:28 AM
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| Lauren, I know exactly how you feel. I am too an educator and I work with four year old special needs children. I often get to spend 3 to 4 hours a day in the evening with my son and then its off to bed to start our "routine" over again. I often feel guilty when I have to leave him in day care and he is crying or when he just says "bye bye". Also, I feel that because I'm an educator, I have to stay on top of keeping his mind stimulated and hope I'm not over stimulating him and I begin to worry if he is meeting each developmental milestones. |
| posted by Makina on 12/20/2007 11:11 AM
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| I am also an educator/specialist teacher who works with 500 different students per week. I couldn't help but see myself in Lauren's response. I have always loved my job (for the past 12 years I have been in the same field but different grade levels), but this year I am struggling to maintain my enthusiasm. I feel like if I stay late at work to get a project done, I am cheating my son out of our time together. If I go home at 3:00 and pick him up at daycare and leave the work behind, I am failing as a teacher ..or not putting in my best effort. For the first time in my life, I wish I chose a less demanding job...and a rich husband :) |
| posted by Carolyn MM on 12/25/2007 09:29 PM
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WOW! It is amazing how my thoughts and emotions ring out in all of your words. I too find myself questioning my sons own abilities and if he is meeting the standard "norm" that he is suppose to. I question was I at fault that both my children were premies due to the stresses that were put before me as a school teacher and a special educator. I resent not being able to leave work when my chidren are sick and I am asked to bring in a doctors note to prove that I was actually home with my children. I resent having to ask permission to take time off because I want to see my daughter or son in a performance at their school or go on a trip with them or even just help out a few ours in their classroom to let them know that "I" am their for them.
At 5, my daughter knows the difference and questions why I can't be like other moms who come to her classroom and go on trips.. it hurts me. I WANT to be those MOM's. I should be able to be those moms. I over compensate and do ALL when I am not with them ..on the weekends I have no time for myself..I want time for just me..just a little ...sometimes..then I feel guilty that I want that time..I have no one to talk to ..a husband who doesnt think it is a "BIG" deal that I am a working mother..and that it "sucks" to be a working dad. Not very understanding..or committed to getting up on the weekends to let me sleep in for those 10 extra mintues.. Kids always look for ME and want ME.. I love it.. but at times.. it exhausts me. I am on vacation and I have checked my work email..feeling guilty about things left undone..feeling mad at myself for checking too. It's like this doctor jekly..mr hyde battle within myself.. always wanted to do right by all. Forgetting about myself and my needs. My kids are my world and I love watching them ... it makes me smile when I see them play and I want so much to have more energy and more time to do more with them. I wish I could find within myself that happy medium. |
| posted by Lauren on 12/25/2007 10:58 PM
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| Hi everyone...I'm new to this group, but certainly can echo all the sentiments. I just left the classroom to go into an administrative role in special education and, believe it or not, I am actually at school longer than I was when I was teaching! I also have a longer commute now, which breaks my heart that I have to drop my daughter off even earlier at daycare. Luckily, my mother does watch her twice a week for me, so that puts my mind at rest those days. I know it is good for both of them to get to spend time together. I suppose the good thing about my job change is that I'm not bringing the work home that I used to when I had a classroom. I am able to leave the work at work. |
| posted by Emily on 12/27/2007 05:01 AM
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| I just read Lauren's recent post and had I to say...we hear you. I have a husband who is pretty evolved as far as guys go and I still get lectured by him that I "beat myself up over nothing" because I struggle to balance work and family. He doesn't get the complexities of emotions that a working parent/ mother has to face. He also isn't the one who has to leave work to pick our son up from day care when he is sick, or rush him to the doctor. :) Sound familiar? |
| posted by Carolyn MM on 12/27/2007 05:31 PM
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| PS...hang in there Lauren. There are many moms that feel the same way... but far too few are honest enough to put it out there and be real. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. |
| posted by Carolyn MM on 12/27/2007 05:34 PM
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| Thanks Lauren for putting into the perfect words of how many of us feel. I don't think there is a right answer. We have to continue to remember what is most important in life because it can all be taken away in a second. I just try to take advantage of all the precious moments I do have like his first steps, the way he use to put his little toes in his mouth, and the way my husband tickles his stomach and I hear him laugh. I'm glad we have this group of moms to know there is support. Stay Strong. Happy New Year's to everyone!!!! |
| posted by Makina on 01/02/2008 08:42 AM
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| I know with a job and being a mother, there is little time for self. I say we try to do something once a week for ourselves. Rather it is reading for pleasure, buying a new pair of shoes, taking a walk, or even 5 mins. of extra sleep........ whatever. Share your ideas and/or experiences. Good Luck |
| posted by Makina on 01/02/2008 08:47 AM
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