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HAHA...thats a good one....
I got along great with my father in law, unfortunatly he past away Nov of 06..my mother in law on the other hand....her and i DONT get along. It has alot to do with the fact that has become best friends with my husbands ex wife the moment he married me (6 years after his divorce). I have tried so hard to be friends with his mother and she doesnt have 2 words to say to me. She told my husband that she doesnt think he should have remarried...my in law stays with the ex (who lives out of state) when she visits with my husbands grandparents.The ex is at my husbands families house for holidays...It is CRAZY, so because of all that my husband and his mom have no realationship... I think kids know a bad seed when they see one becuase my oldest son (2) wants nothing to do with her. When he sees her, he runs and cries..
On the other side (long story REALLY short)...my husband and my parents dont get along because my stepdad has an issue with the interracial thing...so my mom sticks by her husbands side...she has only seen my oldest son when he was born and hasnt seen him since and has never seen my youngest son. It is so unfortunate that the children have no grandparent figures in their lives.. |
| posted by Ashlee on 12/11/2007 11:29 AM
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| I don't, they are dead to my husband, myself and my daughter. They from the beginning treated my child as if she was nothing to them all the while treating my husbands son from his first marriage like he was gold. The funny part is they are both their biological grandchildren. My step son used to live with us until he started treating me like crap, and doing things to hurt my daughter, squeezing her head so hard his arms would shake, when she was an infant. Then when she started to crawl, he would slam her in doors. I would catch the little psycho doing these things as would his father and he would look right at us and tell is he didn't do it even though he did it right in front of us. He would lean in to hug Mikayla, and pinch her so hard while he was fake hugging her that his nails would break her skin, and then lie and say he didn't do it. My husbands mother told us we should not punish him for this it was normal sibling rivalry. I had a youner sister I never di any of those things to her. The final straw was when he slammed my crawling daughter in his bedroom door and was laughing while the baby was in hysterics. I put my hand on the back of his neck to scoot him away as I bent down to pick up my screaming child. Litterally scooted him out of the way and did so in front of my husband. Well, my husbands mother, my stepson and my husbands exwife sat down and concocted a story that I slammed him to the ground then repeatedly slammed his head into the ground. They took it to court, my mother in law testified against her own son, all because she pissed we moved out of NJ into PA and she didn't get to see him as much as she did, she pushed his deadbeat party animal mother to fight for custody, and now the child/spawn of satan is basically living with his grandmother. they refuse to get him the psychiatric help he needs that we were trying to get for him. They insist it was our problem not the grandchild. Now, that all is said and done and none of them are in my life, my life is quite peaceful, the only thing is now I kind of wish i did smack my step son, hell I was accused of it anyway, might as well have gotten a good one in. At least my daughter will grow up safe and not be harmed in her own home anymore by the little nut, and she will also not develope an inferiority complex from being treated like crap by her grandparents. |
| posted by on 12/11/2007 12:22 PM
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| Wow Ashlee thats awful.They is no color ;especially when it comes to children.When they die old, regretful,and alone it'll be too late then wont it?Daun om goodness;thats so scary.Im so glad that he didnt do any irrereperable damage to her.Ive seen on TV once about that happening in a family.Thank God that they were actually able to get help for the lil' boy that was doing that to his lil' Brother. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/11/2007 12:36 PM
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| I hate to hear stories about people not getting along with there in-laws. I get along great with my in-laws. My mother in law had four boys so she always wanted a daughter and she said now she has one. My 19 mon old son is their world. They would do anything for us. |
| posted by Hope on 12/11/2007 12:40 PM
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| I would have loved for my in-laws to be people that we could get along with, however, they are not even people mother theresa could have gotten along with. They are vile people, with vile attitudes who say vile things. His mother would"apologize" to me by saying I am sorry for how you took what I said or did, it was never her being sorry for her actions or words it was her apologizing that I took it the wrong way. Marie Barrone from everybody loves raymond would havebeen a welcomed improvement to the freakshow family I got. |
| posted by on 12/11/2007 01:00 PM
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| Well lets see.My inlaws ,I cannot stand.I tried when I came to Mich. to get to know them and get them to do family affairs together and they just wouldnt.I found out how they really felt about me since then.My hubby was married before and had a girl with the x.She was a bad alcoholic and drank beer like we drink water.My hubbys sister was married to a man that slept around on her and in 1 of his x-wifes many bar nights, saw him w the wench and told My hubby about it.She got drunk the next week and told the sister about her cheating hubby and the whole family hated my hubbys x after that.Saying that it really didnt happen and she was trying to start family trouble.Too bad ,the 2 weeks before She saw the cheater at the bar; he had told my hubby that yes he was cheating on his wife.They wouldnt even have anything to do w the lil girl that my hubby had.I met him online;moved here 11 months later and he and I got married 14 months later in Oct.Well I was pregnant and didnt know it.I found out in Nov.We went to his parents for xmas and his biotch sister started trashing me while I was sitting there.She started saying well you didnt have to marry her cause she was preg.You could have just lived w her.And I never understood why you brought her here anyway.She had kids and he doesnt pay for them.She doesnt work now;why should you have to pay for her kids.There not your blood.And mom said you wanted to adopt them.OMG why would you want to do a stupid thing like that.If you and her ever split up youd have to pay for them.My kids are sitting there also listening to this.If you wanted to have sex you should have protected yourself from that.She takes him in the kitchen and I hear her telling him that I am not that wonderful and that he married beneath himself.At least him and x made good money . Look what she has done to you.Im not trying to be mean but look at yourself;the place you live w her now.A 5 bedroom doublewide 4 yrs old,Mobile home in a retirement village.Just awful!!!lol.How do you even know that baby's even yours.He finally tells her that I dont know anyone here.I wouldnt do anything like that.I hate men cause of my x.Then she told him she thought I was a gold digger looking for some 1 to take care of me and my kids.Id had about enough and I was about to lose it.My temper that is.I think now that she was afraid to be friends w me for fear that shed have to accept her hubby really was a cheater.I dont know.But I felt like I paid for hubbys x wife telling ppl her hubby was a cheat.We opened presents.When we were leaving she tells him;think about what I said okay?Im like wtf else did she tell you???Why,how could she say that shite? when she knew I could hear and in front of my kids???He said she told him that he maybe could get it anulled not knowing I was preg and when the baby came get a blood test and take the baby and get rid of me!!!Later in the months I had a bad preg.I slept 14 to 16 hrs a day.I was 41.I bled alot.Hurt all the time.Cramps like 10 xs the bad period kind.Not 1 time did that biotch call and check on me.His mom called several times but only to ask her son if she should buy a laptop 8 yrs old!Never 1 time did she ask;how is lexi?how is the preg going?Any complications?Nothing!Birthdays came and went.She didnt do anything.My mom in her 70's was so happy that I was having another baby.Called me 4 r 5 times a week.Sent me like 1500 dollars worth of stuff.Shed go somewhere and shed get the baby something.No word from his family at all.June came along and I had Alexis and he called his mom.She and the biotch sis came up to the hospital next day.She sat there and asked my hubby if he was gnna get a blood test before he took us home?She said the baby didnt look like him at all and it (it)looked like a hispanic baby and if I had sex w a hispanic person.Then she asked him again to explain why and how he could have brought me here and why hed even put himself in that position.I still mad at everything else and xmas flat out told her if I was a goldigger Id have stayed w my x he made 27 bux an hr and hubby here dont make half that.She just looked at me like where the hell did that come from.She and inlaw-mom left a lil later and after that we heard from noone at all.She said ,walking out to her car, to my hubby ,that he ought to get blood test and send me packing.He told her she was a biotch and couldnt believe she said that and then he came back in the hospital to me.A few months later his Aunt called and I let her have it.Not to her but about that screwed up family.I had about had it.We went to xmas when Alexis was 6 months old.I told him that his screwed up family didnt deserve to see her or be around her.His aunt called after xmas and I told her again what I thought of that whole family and she relayed all the right messages.A week later I guess after they calmed down from the awful news that I loathed them called and wanted to come and see the baby turn 1 yr old.Cried that she had no idea that I hated thenm so much and didnt understand why and how I could say that.He of course let her have it also all the things he hadnt had the jullupess to say he finally said it to her.They came for the bday and stayed clear of me.The sister however didnt even call.In august they had a family reunion all the old family and we went.There was the sis and the hubby.I ignored her til right before it was time to leave then I walked over and said heres your neice!Handed Alexis to her.wow isnt she big?O wait you wouldnt know that; you havent seen her or called!Doesnt she look just like Jim now?hmmmm amazing isnt it?She just stood there and the hubby started talking lol.We found out 2 months later that they lost their $254,000 home and his home business.They didnt say a word.They led us to believe that they were still living and doing the business.I said God works in mysterious ways to my inlaw dad.Well thats my story of my inlaws.They came for thxgvg but I had the flu so I stayed in bed while they ate and visited the kids and hubby.I cooked sick for everyone. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/11/2007 01:52 PM
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| Correction on the 6 months old for xmas; we went to tx to let my parents finally see their grandaughter. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/11/2007 02:00 PM
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| You couldn't have picked a juicier topic. At christmas, the year before I had my daughter, I got some crappy gift, which really wouldn't have mattered, had she not put three hundred in a card for my husband and when he opened it pulled him to the side, yet loud enough for me to hear told him it is not to be used for any one other than him. I was fuming, that she even needed to pull him aside to do that yet still loud enough for me to hear. |
| posted by on 12/11/2007 02:59 PM
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| You are better off w/o all of them.Sad cause of the kids ;but cant miss something that youve never had.Sad thing is whats the mom-in-law gonna tell your daughter after shes way older?That would ,im afraid, scare me the most. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/11/2007 03:12 PM
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| Well after all was said and done, I sent everything she ever gave my daughter back, which believe me wasn't much, it fit in a large US Postal envelope, enclosed with all of it was a a nice little note from me to her. In that note, I told her if she ever tried to corrispond with my daughter again, via mail, phone, in person or e-mail, I would file a court order barring her from doing so. I let her know that she is dead in my daughters eyes as is her husband and their other son, and that is how they are down in my daughter's baby book, as deceased. If later on in life, after I have explained what happened to my daughter, she decides she wants a relationship with the hag, then it is her educated decision to make, once she has all of the facts realistically explained to her by me. |
| posted by on 12/11/2007 03:21 PM
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| Thats so sad.His sis got her a bloomer outfit and a frame.His mom got her 2, 2nd hand clothes that had spots on em.For her bday, when mom came over to the house;she brought her a 2nd hand music thing that was all torn up and half the buttons were missing and discolored.Yes I agree.My parents would kill to see and be able to hold and spend time w my kids.Advertise: needgrandparents. Must be willing to unconditionally love!!! |
| posted by Lexi on 12/11/2007 05:06 PM
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That is so sad. I get along pretty well with my n-laws but we do have our moments.Like this Christmas we have been trying to decide when to do Christmas because my hubbys brother lives out of state but only about 4 hours away.I dont get along very well with him because he is a loser father to his daughter and cant get her when he is suppose to but expects his ex to give in to her plans whenever it is convenient for hi., but anyways, we had decided to do Christmas on Christmas eve morning, well then my mother-n-law said she wanted to wait until after the new year when her son brought his daughter back, I said that was fine but my hubby and father-n-law will probably have to workon that Sat. and they work seperate shifts and the same place, and if my hubbby couldnt be there then Me and Sarah wouldnt come because I get so sick of them always working around his scedule and they always have. Everyone could be there on Christmas eve but no they have to change it, with out asking will that work for us. Plus whenever my brother-n-law brings his daughter back she is suppose to go back to her moms because she isnt having any time with her while she is out of schoolso she may not can come when we do it after the new year. Her mom will probably let her but they know she always caves in because it is not fare to her daughter.
Anyway that is how we clash alot. |
| posted by Natasha on 12/12/2007 10:31 AM
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I get along with my in-laws pretty well, but sometimes they drive me nuts! Like this Christmas for example. Every year since my husband and I've been together we've had Christmas Eve NIGHT at his parent's house, and Christmas Day at my parent's house. Well, this year my minlaw tells me that she's going to have it on Christmas Day so that we have more time together. I told her, "Well, my mom has Christmas at her house on Christmas Day." She said, "oh, That's right. Well, I'm still going to have it. You can go there later." I was like, "We ALWAYS have it at her house on Christmas Day!" So anyways, I told her that we'll stay until 1pm and then I have to go to my parent's. My mom has MS and she gets really worn out so I'm going to do most of the cooking this year. It kind of pisses me off that my m-in-law couldn't just have it like we always have it. Just a little vent. Other than that, we mostly get along.
And I can't believe how some of your in-laws act! Grow up! I'm really sorry they treat you and your kids so badly. But it's THEIR loss. |
| posted by Angela on 12/12/2007 12:13 PM
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| Wow it sounds like she wanted to maybe power trip this yr, to see if hubby would make u go there.When I was in Tx w/ my x,Id go to my moms and spend the night.His mom died of cancer and his dad was in his own world w/ the new wife and her kids only.We werent allowed ;because she didnt like my x's bro and sis.Anyway my mom and I ,We'd cook all the 24th ,and then xmas day after the kids did their openings, we'd start again.I wouldnt care;Id go to my moms early and help her cook, if I were you.She's your mom.Then I'd eat and later go to ur in-laws and maybe eat dessert there. Well we are suppose to go to a xmas reunion on the 15th, his moms house on xmas eve, and maybe they come to our house on xmas day.His sis and bro-in-law won't come and eat cause he has a disease that has to do w gluton.But yet its okay to drink himself to death w/ rum and coke all day/night.I honestly cringe at the thought of being around anyone of them.Hubby doesn't want to go on xmas eve, cause of his sis.I tell u 1 damn thing ,if we do go, and she says anything off color this yr to me; im not prego anymore!I feel for her.I've like had it.My parents treated him good when we went to Tx last yr,even tho we have had a few probs, I told yall about 2 weeks ago.O' well good luck to the both of yall.I hope it works out for u 2.It's definately frustrating. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/12/2007 12:35 PM
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| I guess I am really lucky! I get along GREAT with my in-laws! We talk all the time and joke around and everything! The only things that we clash on are that they swear and smoke! The swearing thing will bother me more when our little girl (and other kids eventually) are old enough to repeat what they say. I do not want them swearing and neither does my husband. I am sure that they will pick that up from their grandparents though. Also, ALL of my husband's family smokes and we are uncomfortable with it! We feel like we cannot go anywhere with them that smoking is allowed because they do not see the dangers in smoking around babies! My husband has asthma and his sister has a heart murmur...from growing up around smoke! His parents don't see that that is what caused those conditions. Also, we cannot go to their house or allow them to babysit or have our daughter over night because of the smoke, etc. Oh well. Also, my husband gets along great with my family too! I feel blessed and grateful that we all get along so well. I do not think we would have gotten married and had kids if there were issues with the families. We feel strongly about family and little disputes that can be discussed and solved are fine but anything big would have caused more problems than they are worth we feel! I hope and pray that all of you who have in-law issues can solve them and/or not fight with spouses about them! |
| posted by kendra on 12/12/2007 01:44 PM
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| We have come to a resolution, we do not acknowledge them anymore. I do not fight with my husband because he came to the realization himself that his parents are vile people. My cousin just got married, and at the wedding her new mother in law gave such a beautiful speech about how happy she was that she now had a daughter and how great it is to see her son so happy. I cried, because I will never have that relationship with my biotch-in-law. I have tried to talk tried to swallow things, I found it was always me being the bigger person, and her always apologizing for the way I took something. At some point you just have to start putting yourself, and your family first, and if someone is harming or threatening to harm( either physically or mentally) any one in your immediate family, you have to draw the line. You have to evaluate the worth of the person in your life and if they are doing more harm than good. My in-laws did not want to see their son with me or any other woman for that matter. His mother was used to being the only woman of importance in his and his sons life, and when we met, she had to share the spot light, and she did not like it one bit. I was not about to be a doormat for her or anyone else. She was not paying my bills or putting food on my table, yet she felt she had a say in how we were going to do things, and that didn't work with me! |
| posted by on 12/12/2007 02:01 PM
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Amen Daun!!! It almost sounds like you and I have the same mother in law!! LOL
Mine treats my husbands first 2 boys like gold and has to make comments about mine (such as their names,Chase and Connor) ARRGHH she makes me so mad. But me and my husband both have nixed her and my family out of our lives..We realized it when my stepdad tried to trow our wedding off a week before and when his mom wanted nothing to do with it.Weeks before the wedding my husband asked his mom if she told any of the family in TN that he was getting remarried and her words were "no, that isnt something i would announce, it isnt like you are traveling the world or anything....and i dont feel it is good time " A Good Time..for who..he has been divorced 6 years..well i find out later that she didnt feel it was a good time because the ex thought she was gunna win him back with all her psyco tendencies that made him file for divorce in the first place..lol |
| posted by Ashlee on 12/12/2007 03:19 PM
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| LOL, my husbands ex is crazy too, and she still feels he is going to be taking her back. She tried to cut her wrists in front of their son, when the psycho junior was like 3, which was 5 years ago. She was faking the suicide attemt, she cut enough that she broke skin and there was blood but didn't even require stitches, she did this in front of the kid, while he was on the phone with my then fiance, it was all for the dramatic effect! Now my biotch in law is all of a sudden buddy buddy with my husbands ex, the same person she described as a waste of skin and a deadbeat mother, and she went on and on about how she should have given the grandchild up for adoption, or had an abortion because it was a mistake for her to breed. Now miraculously, they hang out together, and think up plots on how to drive my husband and I apart, like with their whole child abuse story. They didn't know when they thought up the story that I "abused" my step-monster, The situation they chose to refer to, my husband was right there and saw what happened. They expected he was going to believe their little story and walk out on me and our daughter, instead it bit them in the ass, and he has nothing to do with them and minimal to do with his son, because his son is dangerous, and not welcome in our home or around my daughter until he gets help or my daughter is big enough and old enough to defend herself and kick his ass. |
| posted by on 12/12/2007 04:26 PM
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| Just curious Duan is the son that is dangerous only 5? |
| posted by Natasha on 12/12/2007 11:12 PM
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| No he is now eight, why do you ask? He was seven at the time when he started doing aweful things to my daughter, I would keep her sleeping in my room for fear of putting her in her nursery, and having him harm her. I woke up to him just balnkly starring at me many times, he was watching me sleep. We were in the process of having him diagnosed with Reactive attatchment disorder. |
| posted by on 12/13/2007 08:54 AM
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| awahats that mean Daun?Never heard of it if you dont mind me asking? |
| posted by Lexi on 12/13/2007 09:40 AM
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| Too bad that yall both live so far away;I think we'd enjoy being close friends and letting our kids grow up around each other.I called his mom the other day to see if they are coming for dinner so that I could plan the meal and see what I had to buy and she never calls me to tell me until 1 r 2 days.How in the heck do I plan for that?Yall know what the store is like 1 r 2 days before xmas!No food and busy as worker bees in a hive! |
| posted by Lexi on 12/13/2007 09:44 AM
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| Reactive attatchment disorder usually occurs in children where the maternal bond is broken inwithing the first three years of their life. Something traumatic happening to the child within the the first three years, which would have been by stepson witnessing his mothers fakes attempt of suicide. It causes the child to have sever problems with telling the truth, or accepting any type of fault for anything. They act out anger on small animals or children smaller than them. Constantly do bad behavior even if you are consistant with the punishment, because they do not make the connection with cause and effect, which is really scary, especially later in life, because essentially they do not make the connection between right and wrong, and actually seek out negative attention over positive attention. Thjis is why we were trying to get him help now, even though there were no guarantees that he could even be helped. He basically displays sociopathic behavior. He does not get along with other children. An example of what he would do, he would walk over to my daughter, squeezing her head so hard his arms would shake, all while gritting his teeth. He would do this right in front of me. I would pry his hands off. I would tell his father, and he would lie to his father and say he never di it, i was crazy, and I was making it up. The sick part is as it was described to me by the psychologist, is that they know exactly what they are doing and saying, they are very manipulative. It is not a widely known disorder, but I will try to find an article on it that will explain it better. |
| posted by on 12/13/2007 09:53 AM
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Reactive attatchment disorder IN CHILDREN:
Lack of Conscience Development.
Superficially Charming.
Lack of Eye Contact (except when lying).
Inability to give and Receive Affection.
Extreme Control Issues.
Destructive to Self, Others, Animals and Property.
No Impulse Control.
Unusual Eating Patterns (hoarding, gorging, or refusal to eat).
Unsuccessful Peer Relationships.
Incessant Chatter in Order to Control.
Very Demanding.
Unusual speech patterns, mumbling, robotic speech, talking very softly except when raging
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| posted by on 12/13/2007 09:58 AM
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Typical Family Profile
with a RAD Child
The Child:
Seems happy, charming, polite, and enjoyable toward others outside the home but is often uncontrollable inside the home.
The Father:
Seems perplexed or concerned because he doesn't know if his wife or his child has created the problems and conflicts in the family.
The Mother:
Feels frustrated, depressed, angry, and tired.
If this sounds like your family, we can help. For additional information view the other pages on our website or call Dr. Buenning for a telephone consult.
|
| posted by on 12/13/2007 10:05 AM
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| Wow gf;thats awful and its scary!I am glad your daughter is out of danger.Who knows what he could have done to her later on.Lets hope they get him help in the hopes before he kills or hurts some 1 fatally. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/13/2007 10:24 AM
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| I was just curious, I know there are some reaaly disturbed kids that are young, my sister is a social worker.. Will his mom not get him the help he needs? Why dont you all fight for custody to help the little boy? |
| posted by Natasha on 12/13/2007 10:27 AM
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| I didnt mean to sound rude when I asked, I was just wondering because the way you called him junior psycho. I wouldnt want my daughter around someone like that either. |
| posted by Natasha on 12/13/2007 10:41 AM
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| O I dont think she thinks you were rude ;she may have had to take a break from the pc a few minutes. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/13/2007 10:59 AM
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| We had custody, and after all he has put the family through, I refuse to allow him to even walk into my home until he gets the proper care. He is not allowed around our daughter, until he gets the proper care. As far as the mother, she is bi-polar and does not take her meds regularyly, the bio mom and my husbands "mother" both swear there is nothing wrong with him or his behavior, and refuse to get him help. He will probably end up as a headline in a newspaper one day, and I know it sounds cold for me to say, but when you have been through what he has put me and my daughter and my husband through, you become cold. If I had kept him here, I do not know what would have happened to my daughter, what I do know is that she probably also would have developed reactive attatchment disorder at the hands of her half brother, and that was not a risk I was willing to take for the sake of the little nut. I told my husband, I love him, but I love my daughter more, and would not allow this to go on any longer, and if he needed to leave to be with his son, he could, he chose not to. Never did I make him choose, and never did he blame me for his kid, he actually blames his nuty ex wife. The kid was destined to have a mental problem from the beginning. It was just a matter of time, and I do not want to be the one to get the phone call in the middle of the night that he killed someone or many people, but mark my words he will. I filesd a protective order against him on my daughters behalf, and it is permanent. |
| posted by on 12/13/2007 11:00 AM
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| I hope you do not think me rude or cold, but until you have lived through it, you will never fully understand it. I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress after he left, that is what ends up happening to the primary care giver of these kids. Now he is living at his mothers, and apparently abusing her cats, saddomizing them with objects, but they think he is normal. All I think of is that cat could have been my daughter. I loved him, and treated him like my own, but then when a step kid actually starts harming your own child, that love diminishes very quickly. |
| posted by on 12/13/2007 11:04 AM
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| Nope I feel like you are 100% correct.After all, men can come and go, but your children are forever.You can't replace a child.You did what you were suppose to do.Have you gotten any counseling on how scared you were or how you feel now?Cause I can tell it bothers you deeply and maybe you need to talk to some 1 about it.Do you go to church?I c ounseled w my pastor for my depression.I would die inside if I lost 1 of my children ;especially due to neglect of a step-son by his mom.But until they acknowledge it and get him help(which sounds like its too late);they are gonna be the 1s that are going to be sorry.Whats he act like in school?Is it going to have to come to he hurts some 1 before they get him help.I think so.Then itll be some 1 elses fault Im sure. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/13/2007 11:17 AM
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| Daun,dont be afraid to show ur profile or ur pixs.Noone here is going to try and harm you or even judge you.We are here to make friends and biotch our probs to one another.Thats what friends do.Thats why we joined this group.I enjpyed ur pix ur lil girl and u r very beautiful. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/13/2007 11:22 AM
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It is always someone elses fault in their eyes. The last time, it was my fault, according to my "mother-in-law" it was my fault for having a child he was seven and at that age unable to adjust to another child, he should have been an only child. The list of horrid things she has said goes on and on. That kid could walk into her house set it on fire and she would justify it as him expressing his feelings. I have gotten counseling, i am in counseling. I am not depressed, but i do have PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I am getting better, but everytime I hear his name or hear anything about him from my husband my skin crawls and I feel physically ill. I do not go to church, I am not a religious person. He is violent in school, has emotional ups and downs, threatens to kill himself, has put his hands around his throat and choked himself in front of students and a teacher. He is scary, and in a way, we are failing to get him help, but he does not reside with us, and they refuse to get him help because "there is nothing wrong with him". We have called Child Protective Services, but until he does something that is documented, they can do nothing. They have investigated, and everytime they do, he displays normal behavior, and his mom puts on a show. He is very manipulative, and very cunning. He was thrown out of three different therapists offices because they determined he was acting and lying, and they could not get through to him. None of them were trained for RAD. They did not know what to do with him. He needs a battery of neurological tests and psychological evaluations that would require in patient stays. I may sound bad now, with how much it bothers me, but before, when he was here, I was worse. I wouldn't go to the bathroom without taking my daughter with me. I would go into the bedroom, lock the door, and then go into the bathroom in my bedroom and lock the door. The scariest thing was waking up to him staring in my face after I knew I locked the bedroom door at night. I hid all of the knives in a locked cabinet that I always had the key to on me. I was terrified he would kill me or the baby while we slept. I wasn't sleeping, I was always on edge I couldn't blink when he was in the same room with us. it was bad. I still wake up with a jolt of fear, but he is no longer here with us, and I am much more at ease. My daughter can play without the threat of being hurt by him. I can go to the bathroom and know she is safe in her playpen. I can put her in her nursery at night to sleep and know she is ok in there.
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| posted by on 12/13/2007 11:33 AM
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| I am not worried about being judged, but thank you for saying that. I do not need the fallout of his mother or exwife reading this. That is what they do. They found my aim profile, and my myspace page, and raised holy hell about them. |
| posted by on 12/13/2007 11:35 AM
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| When I was going to church in Tx.,a lady there had a daughter and she was a crak head.She kept having children and her oldest turned out to be what you just described.He was in and out of mental hosp.She was an older lady and she decided to adopt him out to this other family.Well the family ended up w 4 of that crak heads children.The boy is still in and out of mental institutions.He killed animals,he tried to harm his sisters,he tried hanging himself,he cut himself,he tried to smother his sis in their sleep and then while my oldest son was there visiting he tried to burn them to death in a barn.When he came back they had to alarm his room and lock him inside.They finally gave him up and signed papers that he was a friggin psycho and when they did that CPS started questioning them as foster parents; wondering why they could keep him in tact?We all thought ;doctors cant keep him in tact and you want the adopted family too!!!Well fianally they got rid of him and last I heard he was in a place til he was 18 then he was free to live a life w/o parents.I have no idea what ever happened to him ;because I quit going to that church when I moved to mich.I did hear that the mom of all the illigitemate children was found dead on a road w half her face ripped off OD 'ed in Ca.So dont you feel bad or let anyone guilt you into that any of this was your fault or that you are wrong.I think you did right. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/13/2007 11:40 AM
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| Yeah, we tought about the lock on the outside of his bedroom door too, and they told us it was illegal and a firehazard. It was a lose lose situation with him. I am sorry to say, CPS has given kids far too many rights and taken away far too many from adults rendering us helpless in dealing with them, and they wonder why we are raising generation x |
| posted by on 12/13/2007 11:46 AM
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| OMG! You poor thing.I have no idea; you are right;thats awful!I have a step-daughter;but only a couple of times,did i think she might hurt lexi.I wouldnt allow her to be around her alone when she was a younger baby.I thought she might shake her ;cause I caught her doing it 2 xs, time getting her dressed and 1 time in her bouncer.She said she wanted to see what it looked like.I told my hubby and he jumped her for it.After that I was on edge when she came and visited.But nothing like what you went thru.Shes wonderful w lexi now.She protects her at all costs.I think it was the initial;i have to share daddy now.Today is going by slow.I hate days like this. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/13/2007 11:51 AM
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| Yeah it is. Mikayla is napping. It is snowing something fierce here. we have about seven inches already, it just started this morning, and there is no sign of it ending anytime soon. |
| posted by on 12/13/2007 11:57 AM
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| yes ,its icing here and mixed snow,i havent put lexi down yet for her nap.she got sick.her bro brought it home.we were sick w it at thxgvg.now she got it again. |
| posted by Lexi on 12/13/2007 12:13 PM
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| sorry I wasnt on anymore this morning, I totally understand also I was just curious, Like I said my sister is a socail worker and she has seeen some awful stuff with young kids, like a 10 year old, molesting his brother and sister, and they think he had consentual relations with his mother. He is in a juvenile treatmentf or sexual offenders.I know pretty sick. I wouldnt let noone with problems like that around my daughter either, I dont care if I lost everyone else around me.I do hope he gets the help he needs. When I was talking about custody and getting him help, I was thinking of like a group home or something. |
| posted by Natasha on 12/13/2007 09:15 PM
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