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| Parents of Toddlers |
| Public online group |
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| Hello everyone. I was wondering if anyone out there had any tips on breaking the news of expecting a new baby to your toddler? We are expecting again in May and we haven't said much to our 21 month old daughter about it. I would really like to talk to her about it so she is prepared (as much as a toddler can be prepared!) for the arrival of another baby. Any suggestions? |
| Posted by Heather on 12/02/2007 11:30 AM
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| Honestly, in my experience less is more in these situation. You might want to tell her there is a new baby coming, show her the new baby's things in passing, buy a book or too and get her a new baby of her own to love... and then let it go. If she gets the impression this is no bigger of a deal than getting a new lamp she won't get the impression she is SUPPOSED to have feelings about it- and might resent the imposition and change. |
| posted by Michele on 12/02/2007 11:45 AM
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| I have a 24 month old, and am expecting a baby May 12th. I recently went to my pediatrician for her 2 year old check up and told him I was expecting. He said it was very important to get her used to the idea of a new baby. He said to buy a book, and show her your expanding belly. We did not tell her anything until I was 12 weeks, and we felt more secure about my so far very difficult pregnancy. Now that I am 17 weeks my belly has begun growing, and I show her daily and she now says baby. I also take time when we see a small baby in public to show her the baby(of course no touching). She is showing a keen interest in them. He also told me to assimilate the word baby with careful and gentle etc. So she know not to be rough with the new baby. I have also planned on purchasing a new doll, that she can care for when the baby comes. I really want to involve her in this, and think she will be much happier if she feels like she has a role in the new babies life. They are so very smart beyond there years, and to make it a fun and involved positive experience from pregnancy and beyond I personally feel is the way to go. Just my 2 cents. |
| posted by Vanessa on 12/02/2007 12:17 PM
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| Oh yea, I chatted with a psychiatrist at the dentists office the other day. He told me that when bringing baby home to make sure that when you take the baby out of the car leave the baby in the carrier bring him or her inside set them down on the ground and show the sibling first. Then let him or her get used to the baby and ask her if she would like to help you take the baby out of the carrier. They do not feel threatened in this way. Great tip from a medical professional. |
| posted by Vanessa on 12/02/2007 12:21 PM
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| That is really awesome advice, Vanessa. I feel the same way and I really want her involved as much as possible. I'm due on May 19th so our due dates are really close! I bought her a doll which she kisses and hugs but sometimes can be rough with. We're trying to work on that. I just feel like she has been our world for almost 2 yrs and i would hate for her to feel left out of the loop, ya know? She is such a good helper now too. I ask her to help me out with small chores around the house. I think this will be good because she'll want to help when the baby comes! My biggest concern after the baby gets here is the fact I have to have a c-section and I won't be able to pick up my daughter for 2 weeks! This is going to absolutely kill me and I'm really scared that'll be another big stress on her along with a new baby. Any advice on this? I'm really not looking forward to it :( |
| posted by Heather on 12/03/2007 11:02 AM
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| Well when I first got pregnant this go around I got diagnosed with a hematoma(hole in the placenta) which bleeds like crazy. I thought I was having a miscarriage. Anyways I was told that I could not lift anything more than 5 lbs for 2 weeks. I am a SAHM, with a hubby that travels. So needless to say it was really tough. She had such a hard time adjusting and crying the first week, but I had my mom go out and buy 2 new DVD's, and we laid in the bed and cuddled and watched one everyday. It is something I am sure you could do with your daughter every couple of days while the baby sleeps. Just make her feel special during those times, and you get a little rest too. Maybe you could get someone to come and help with the picking up while she transitions. Anyways when I told my doctor about the 4 weeks total where we could do nothing and she got ignored quite a bit---he said well she had better get used to it. It will be like that soon enough when the baby first comes! I did let her climb onto me while on the sofa, and that seemed to resolve the moments when she would stand at my feet and want to be picked up. Good luck and congrats on the baby!!! |
| posted by Vanessa on 12/03/2007 11:19 AM
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