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| Stay at Home Moms |
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| Our son is 19 months old now and we both knew before he was ever conceived that if at all possible I was going to stay home and raise our child, but now after 19 months of being a SAHM it's not quite that simple as it sounds anymore. My husband loves that I am home with our son raising him but at the same time I think feels that I need to be doing more. I know it's hard for him working constantly while I'm at home, or going to playgroup etc. and I try to help out with his side businesses but it doesn't seem to be enough. We've several, exhausting, conversations about finding something that I would enjoy doing etc. but the truth is I have no idea what that is and even if I did I'm not exactly sure when I'd find the time to put a lot of time into it. When we talk about find more things involved with his things so that we aren't creating more ventures but working more with what's already started I end up feeling somewhat resentful. Although he doesn't come right out and say that he doesn't think I'm capable or doesn't have an faith in my ability to perform the task that's exactly how I leave the conversation feeling. The past 19 months of my life has been the most joyful and the lonliest. Anyone out there have any feedback? |
| Posted by Brandi on 11/12/2007 10:31 PM
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Hi Brandi,
As a SAHM it is easy to minimize the TREMENDOUS amount of things that you DO! I have also felt some quilt about not contributing to the family wallet as much as my hubby does. Then I think about how I would feel if someone else got to see my daughter's first smile and first steps. You are doing SO MUCH for your son by being there for him all day! As a teacher, I have been able to get out and do some tutoring. I do it for $ but also for some professional conversation... It's fun in small doses. What did you do? Perhaps there's something that you could do part time. Another thing that has helped my moral is that I have joined MEETUP.com. Look for groups in your area. That way your son can hang out with other kids while you get to be with other moms. We are eachother's champions.
Please don't feel like you NEED to be doing more. Be there for your son, do what YOU need to do to be happy. If you're happy, then hopefully your husband will no longer make you feel like you're not doing enough. It was a joint decision for you to stay home, right??? |
| posted by Annemarie on 11/13/2007 08:33 AM
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| Brandi I think everyone reading this probably understands how you feel. I struggle with the same things everyday--I can get so dreadfully lonely! I was a teacher in my "past life" so I have started tutoring children after school, which works well because I leave when my husband comes home. I get out of the house, get to work with kids, and make some extra cash which has really helped out. You will find something that is right for you, and believe me you are doing PLENTY by just staying at home. He should never think you need to be doing more because our job is a 24/7 job that is the HARDEST job I've ever ever had. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! Best of luck--in the end you'll be so happy that you made the decisions you did for your little guy. God bless you! |
| posted by Briana on 11/13/2007 09:23 AM
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| Get a part-time job after he gets home for a few hrs at first during the week.Leaving him at home w the baby at home will give him all kinds of ideas for you the next time you discuss it believe me.Smiles |
| posted by Lexi on 11/13/2007 11:42 AM
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| I too have been home for 19 months and enjoy every minute of it! But I was getting a itch to do somthing to make some extra money to contiribute to the home. I just started as An Independant Avon Rep. and it's only $10 to get started and you can set your own hours and work around the child's nap and bring her with you to hand out catalogs. You can meet new people and have fun with it! Email me if you want more info. chariset29@aim.com |
| posted by charise on 11/13/2007 01:09 PM
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| Brandi- I have felt some of the same feelings about being a SAHM. I used to work PT and quit just before my 2nd was born. I felt disappointed that I didn't contribute financially anymore. Don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure your DH feels this way, or are you being too hard on yourself? I'm guilty of thinking my DH thinks one thing, but it's really me projecting my feelings onto him. In other words, are you feeling a little bored (as we all do at times, no matter how much we love our babies)? If money isn't TOO tight, how about a hobby instead? I may be way off, but this was my solution. SAHMs work SO hard for their families and often neglect themselves. Let your DH read what you wrote and see what he says. Maybe he is just going along with you b/c he thinks it's what you want. Sorry if I'm way off. Good luck! |
| posted by Courtney on 11/17/2007 01:52 AM
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Hey Brandi!
I know what you mean . . . I have been a SAHM for 13 months now, but my P-T job I had in my 3rd trimester felt like nothing compared to my high-stress sales job I had for a radio station before!
I started working at home when Sonora was 5 months & I felt like that gave me a whole new boost -- in my mood, in my confidence, etc. because I am in charge of my own business, so to speak. When I get that check every month (especially the larger ones), it's like I'm gleaming, when I show my husband & get to use it on things we need. That has helped.
I have a BA in English & hope to return to grad school when I"m finished having babies lol but for now, I am starting to join Book Clubs, Bunco Clubs, and I told my hubby we're going to start taking ballroom/latin dance lessons as our Christmas present to each other. I need to sort of figure out who I am again, since before my life was work, husband/boyfriend, bar-hopping with my old single friends! lol
YOu can message me any time you want & maybe we can give each other ideas! Or, maybe we can start a book club on Raising Them!? |
| posted by Rochelle on 11/17/2007 09:55 AM
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| What is it that you do at home Rochelle to get a check?Is it something that you can share with us;so that we too can make money?I have heard alot of ppl do a magazine set up that sells different things like t-shirts,household products,or novelties for the home/yard, w a company, then they tell all their friends to go and see what they have to offer and they make so much off of it.We'd like it if you could share that with us. |
| posted by Lexi on 11/19/2007 10:38 AM
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I know what it is like juggling being a sahm with kids. I have twins that are three and 1/2 and a 13yr old who gets home schooled and I also work at home. So between all of that it is hard to get things done.
Make It A Great Day
Request Your Info. Today!!!
Brandie Bertram
Work At Home United
330-680-4373
http://www.livetotalwellness.com/sahmoftwins
http://www.workathomeunited.com/sahmoftwins
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| posted by sahmoftwins on 11/19/2007 11:04 PM
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| Thank you Brandi.I filled out the questionaire.Hopefully they ll get ahold of me in a few days.It couldnt have come at a better time with Christmas coming and Bush's gas prices going up daily;and the economy taking a dive daily. |
| posted by Lexi on 11/20/2007 08:52 AM
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