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| Attachment Parenting |
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| Hi everyone. I just joined and had a few qusetions about the cio method. You see my daughter will NOT go to sleep in her crib. I sleep andhave slept with her for a long time and am trying to break thehabit because I get no sleep and have to get back towork. So I have her sleep the first part of the night in her crib and the second in my bed (which is in the babie room). Everytime I put her in her crib she cries. I pick her up, feed her, change her diaper, rub her tummy, give her gripe water. At the end there is nothing else I can do, but soothe her. So I swaddle her up and stand next to hercrib and let her cry ( which usually only lasts a few minutes) while I stroke her head. I don't really consider this the cry it out method, but my BF does things differently and it breaks my heart everytime. In the middle of the night we will change her or feed her, depending on her needs, but sometimes she just wakes up and needs some comfort. So we take shifts and he tends to just let her cry and cry and cry and it drives me nuts! Am I crazy? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make her sleep better? |
| Posted by caitlin on 11/04/2007 02:03 PM
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What you're doing is not CIO. You are right there reassuring her the whole time. Your BF is practicing CIO, which in my opinion leads to problems. You might want to read this article from Harvard on CIO: http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html
Do you nurse her at night? She is way too young to be night weaned. At her age, the only thing to do is wake when she cries and feed her. She needs the nutrition! After she is 12 mo. old, you can try to use Dr. Jay Gordon's method for night weaning: http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp
As far as sleep-deprivation, you are young. I am an older mom and I am surviving through the sleep deprivation for the sake of my baby. |
| posted by Elena on 11/04/2007 07:49 PM
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Hi Caitlin,
Sorry to hear nights have been rough in your house. It took me a long time to learn that each baby is different and the needs for each individual family are different. But it is a reality that YOU need sleep too! I don't believe you can just muscle through day after day of sleep deprivation- I thought I could and it landed me in a severe postpartum depression. The great thing about attachment parenting is the focus on meeting a child's needs for comfort, but you have to have balance where the needs of the whole family are met, of course this balance will not happen all the time.
Sounds like you are doing an awesome job! If it works to stand by her crib and soothe her back to sleep, go with it, she still has your comforting presence. Sounds like the thing to do is get on the same page with your BF; if you are co-parenting, now is the time to discuss the parenting methods you want to use. Explain why it is important to comfort the baby and not let her CIO- let him know what works for you (standing by the cirb) and let him know he can find what works for him, singing, dancing, rocking etc.
It is so important to communicate clearly and calmly when working on parenting issues (any issues for that matter) and I know it is so much harder to do when you are tired and don't feel like your best self. I wish you all the best! I have been there. |
| posted by Frances on 09/03/2008 01:16 AM
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I agree completely with the response here. It really is up to your comfort level. Your instincts are always right as a mom. I know it is difficult. I had trouble because my inlaws thought I was letting her "win." But I feel that I am promoting more independence by comforting her till she falls asleep and helping her learn to calm on her own and fall back asleep on her own. Its about hands on teaching, yet she is not aware you are doing it. If you are repetitive and if you continue putting her back into her crib, then she will learn and understand that you are there when she needs you and she will feel more safe and able to be on her own down the road. |
| posted by Manda on 06/28/2011 11:51 PM
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