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| Christian Moms of Teenage Daughters |
| Public online group |
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| Just wondering if you all are facing similar issues? I frequently talk with my sister, who is pregnant with her first child, about the many issues I am facing these days, raising my daughters. She seems to think that the area in which I live is a big part of the problem... that it is not a good example of what everyone is dealing with. For instance... I told her that I am the only mother I know that does not allow her teenage daughters (to wear thongs... :( Just don't feel it's appropriate for young girls) Also, in my daughter's high school, there are some bi-sexual and homosexual students. I dissapprove and my daughter does, too, although she does not refuse friendships with these students. I still feel the need to keep her away from these friends and do not allow her to visit their houses. My 12 year old thinks that I'm very judgemental... I could go on and on (and I'm sorry, I know my wording has not been very clear in this post), but I would just like to know if these are common things that we are all dealing with, or do I need to "get the heck out of this town???" |
| Posted by tamara on 10/27/2007 11:02 PM
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I think all of these issues are faced to some degree no matter where you are. This loose-moraled, anti-truth world-view is prevalent all over America. I live in a very small conservative town with more churches than bars, grocery stores, feed stores, and flower stores put together, but we still face the same problems as our larger neighbors Tulsa and Oklahoma City.
For a while there was a lot of talk about the number of meth labs in our area, compared to elsewhere in the US, and there was the worry about a Wiccan joining a committee at the school. Through a long set of circumstances I won't go into, my BFF and I were able to peruse the MySpace accounts of some of our local high school kids. Sex, hatred, killing, devil worship, and more sex were common, that's COMMON, themes on the public portions of these kids pages. My friend was appalled. She knew most of these kids and/or their parents. I wasn't surprised - I was no little angel when I was a teen, but I had all the adults in my life thinking that Kelly would NEVER do anything like that! Kelly was a GOOD role model. Whatever - at least I'll be more realistic about and careful with my kids.
You could get out of town, and move to the country. But anywhere that your family encounters mainstream America you will still encounter teenage girls dressing like, and being, sex kittens/tigeresses (as the case may be). You'll encounter drugs, hate groups, anti-Christian sentiment. homosexuality, other religious sects actively trying to recruit your kids, and more stuff that turns a parents hair grey a lot quicker than normal.
The things I have done that anyone can do are these: be so involved with your kids' lives that they are embarassed. Know their friends and their friends' parents. Talk over everything - drug use, homosexuality, other religions, sex in general - ask them what they think until they tell you just to shut you up. And TELL THEM WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT TO DO - while you need to let them gradually assume more and more responsibility for their decisions and actions, you are still responsible to guide them and keep them away from danger (if they go around you and do something stupid anyway, at least no one can say you did do your job). Teach your children to be discerning, not judgemental. For me the difference is this: discerning means you recognize sin and you recognize Godly behavior and you make decisions that are best for you based on that information. Judging is somehow indicating that 1) you are better than someone else, and that 2) you can do something about it if they are sinning. God calls us to be discerning for our own protection; but He warns us about judging because it can contaminate our souls. At www.rbc.org, you can order free copies of booklets about various Bible topics. One of my favorites is called Right & Wrong: A Case For Moral Absolutes.
What I've done that not every one can, or is willing, to do: I brought my children home. They no longer attend public schools and their contact with kids I don't know, is limited to a very few well-supervised activities. There are some in town who feel I've gone too far: and if they were in charge, and these were their kids, it might be too far. It isn't for me and mine, though. |
| posted by Kelly on 10/28/2007 03:23 PM
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| Thank you, Kelly, for all the wonderful advice. :) Tamara |
| posted by tamara on 10/28/2007 11:11 PM
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| I just re-read that. Sorry to get on my soapbox - but this is one issue I feel strongly about - that the world is the world and Christians are Christians. Unfortunately many Christians are buying into the world's view about things because they don't want to be labeled as intolerant, judgemental, or backwards. I just get all worked up about it! |
| posted by Kelly on 10/29/2007 08:46 AM
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