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| First Time Moms |
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| The biggest change I've noticed since having my son is in our sex life. If we have time for intamacy, we're too tired. I've suggested having one of our parents take the baby overnight on a Friday or Saturday, but my husband thinks he's to young for that (7 weeks). |
| Posted by cathy on 03/17/2007 08:56 AM
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| I feel your pain........ My husband thinks I am just not interested. I am but, till we get our son to bed I am beat. The worst is when we try to have sex when he is napping and he wakes up. |
| posted by Kimberly on 03/19/2007 03:05 PM
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Hi Cathy,
My son is almost a year old now but I remember only too well those first 3 or 4 months of nothing but feedings, changings and catching sleep whenever possible. My husband and I used to wait until we fed and put our little guy down for a nap or the night and then we'd attempt to have intimate time. Whether it be cuddling or the full monty it helped us stay connected as a couple. Babies that young will usually sleep for a little while after they are fed which could allow you and your husband some needed alone time together. Good Luck!! |
| posted by Denise on 03/30/2007 02:29 PM
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| I have to ask....did it get better over time? My husband and I have been noticing this too and I'm hoping it's just exhaustion. |
| posted by Jaxon on 07/18/2007 10:02 AM
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| Sex in marriage goes through mountains and valleys...there are periods of adjustments and change. When our children are small is a major change. It can threaten your intimacy, but it can also be a new dearer time for you and your spouse to creatively meet in the middle so to speak. Keep the lines of communication open...VERY open. Make sure your husband knows that you miss it too and help him to see it's not him, but just the new life and stage that you are all going through...then, do something fun together. Take a shower for two before bed, give each other hot oil massages, read old love letters you wrote back when you were dating...share some ice cream in bed. Something small, special, and intimate. The sex will come...and I hate to admit it, but sometimes it's the doing of it that creates the desire to do it more. |
| posted by Kelly on 07/18/2007 11:05 AM
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Cathy,
Heck no he is not too young to stay the night with grandparents. You and your husband do need some time alone too. Even if it's not the whole night, maybe from like 830 to midnight, that would still give you enough time to have maybe a date night. Give it time tho, the romance will come back. |
| posted by Amanda on 07/18/2007 11:34 AM
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| Ok let me tell you as a mother of two, it is hard to have that time together. I tell my friends that basically what it comes down to if my daughter (2) is asleep and the baby is happy, lets go!!! It is game on! It works and it makes it spontanous! My husband likes it!! It is very hard but you have to make it work, no matter how tired you are. |
| posted by Jeanette on 07/18/2007 01:52 PM
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I personally think he's too young to stay the whole night with someone (especially if he's breastfed).... but for a few hours, it's fine!! Say, from 6:30 till 10pm, he'll stay at a parent's house so you two can have some intimate time together. Call it a "date night" so your parents don't get grossed out.... cause they do. I don't like to discuss my sex life with my mom. With my sisters, yeah, but mom, no...
Good luck!!! And hey, if you're in the Olympia area, I (and I'm sure many other mom's are on board here) would LOVE to hold a 7 week old darling little baby for a few hours while you get some alone time.
It's SOOOOO hard in the first few months... especially after 4 weeks, when all the help is gone, everyone's back at work, and you're alone. All day. With a screaming baby. And you can't eat, sleep, or even go to the bathroom alone. Let alone paying the bills, cleaning, running errands, FORGET IT! Just let me know if there's anything you need help with. Really. I just moved here from Santa Cruz, Calif, but I was part of a really close-knit mommy group there, where we all helped each other out in times of need. And I'd like to continue that tradition here too. So really, if you ever need time away, just ask.
Amanda (mother of Kaia, 18 months) |
| posted by Amanda on 07/18/2007 10:45 PM
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| I know how you feel. I remember when Lucas was a little kid sex was not in my head. When we tried after Lucas was born god I could not concetrate my head was thinkifn if he is ok or if he is breathing. Now We are trying to spend a quality time together when Lucas is with my in laws. I start leaving him notes saying how much I love him! and he really likes that. Try to go out is really important to spend time together and have intimacy too. |
| posted by Angela on 07/18/2007 11:20 PM
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| He's not too young to go with grandma and grandpa for a night!! Every couple needs their intimate time. I am actually sendin my 6 month old son to my moms for a week,. Yeah its wreckin me emotionally, but i know its what my husband and I need. If we're not happy with our relationship, we cant be the best parents. |
| posted by Jennifer on 07/19/2007 05:09 PM
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