 |
|
|
|
| Blessed With Teenagers |
| Public online group |
|
|
| |
|
|
| I am doing my best to raise my teenage daughter to be a good Christian girl. She is in public high school and I am learning SO MANY disturbing and disgusting things about the girls she goes to school with. I have allowed her to use My Space, only under my supervision. These girls are so cruel and send her mean and threatening messages. She has so much to deal with. I am constantly telling her what I think of these girls, and reminding her that, that is not the way to be. I feel like I have to counteract all of the peer pressure she must be under. She tells me that all I ever do is lecture her. and she's tired of hearing it. I am becoming VERY disturbed and discouraged about the world my four daughters are growing up in. I feel discouraged, defeated, depressed. |
| Posted by tamara on 10/15/2007 11:17 AM
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| Tamara, Pray. :) Trust God that he will guide your girls on the path that he has set for them. Pray for peace of mind and trust in your girls. I wouldn't want to be a teenager in these days. Also Pray for their well being and that they have wisdom and sound judgement. I have a 9 year step-daughter that I have to tell myself the same things... Pray. I sometimes wonder how I will ever get through the teenage years with her. |
| posted by Joette on 10/15/2007 12:36 PM
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks, Joette! I will continue to pray. I am trying to keep my faith strong. It's scary to realize, though, that as they get older, I can only control so much of what happens to them.
|
| posted by tamara on 10/15/2007 01:42 PM
|
|
|
|
|
I completely understand where you are coming from. The world in general is bad enough, but it's especially dangerous for our girls who are victims of or learn to be like those stuck-up Queen Bees who think everyone is beneath them.
My daughter was on the fast track to becoming a mean girl. After nine months of continuing to role model appropriate attitudes and behaviors, plus carefully screening her friends through the summer, and increasing our talk to her as much as we could about being respectful to herself and others, she was just getting worse and worse.
After the first nine-weeks of FIFTH grade, I took her out of school, and she now homeschools. And she turned nice again.
I just can't believe how early this behavior is starting with these girls - it was starting with some of them in THIRD grade!
I read a book that was good at explaining what happens in yoiung female relationships these days. It's called Queen Bees and Wanna Bees - it's likely that your local library has a copy.
She's got you being a good role model and "lecturing" her (keep it up, it's soaking in whether she thinks it is or not). She's got you looking at these inappropriate and mean things with her, helping her to deal with what she's experiencing in a healthy way.
Pray, pray and see if your daughters will pray with you. Just because the world tries to corrupt or hurt us doesn't mean that we have to be corrupted or allow the hurt. |
| posted by Kelly on 10/15/2007 03:48 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Thank you so much for the encouragement, Kelly. I will continue to pray. |
| posted by tamara on 10/15/2007 03:54 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| My 16-year old daughter is giving us a terrible time right now. She spent last Saturday night hanging out with a group of friends we don't know who drink and smoke pot. (She snuck out of the house. I would never have let her go.) I hear the same thing from my daughter too about how I'm always lecturing her and that I'm the strictest mom. As hard as it is to keep directing my 16-year old down the right road, I am encouraged by my 21-year old daughter's advice to me that I need to keep talking with my 16-year old even though she acts like she doesn't like me because, according to my 21-year old, she really needs me now. I sometimes think it's unfair that I brought these children into the cruel world, but then I think that God has a purpose for their lives. |
| posted by Sandy on 10/15/2007 11:42 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| Sandy, I know how you feel. I think the same thing about this world, but I think that they are my gift from God to help me make it through. They are my purpose, my inspiration. I have 4 daughters:14,12,6,4. I have given every ounce of energy to always do what's best for them. I let my 14 year old spend the night with a friend over a year ago (three days before her 13th birthday) and she snuck out the window to meet the girl's cousin. She liked him, and she wanted to be with him and when he tried to go too far, she said she didn't want to. He raped her. She didn't fight, but cried. The kids at school knew they had sex and she developed a reputation. They have been very cruel to her. Although, they did not know the whole story. I JUST found out over a year later, and it it DESTROYING me. I am a mess, but know that I have to get it together. That's why I'm here. |
| posted by tamara on 10/16/2007 08:48 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Hi Tamara,
There are always going to be things we won't find out about our children's lives until years later. It's sad because we aren't able to be there to support them if we don't know what's going on. We can't let what our older children are doing destroy us. We need to stay strong for our younger children. I used to worry a lot about everything and then pray. I was feeling defeated too. Now, I pray throughout the day about everything and am totally trusting God to take care of everything. I feel so much more at peace. |
| posted by Sandy on 10/16/2007 09:18 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Sandy,
I pray constantly, too. I always have , from the time they were small. That's why I'm so scared, because things happen anyway. I know it's wrong to worry so much, because that's a lack of faith, but I can't seem to stop. I wish I knew how to trust God so completely that I didn't allow all of this fear to overwhelm me so much. Do you have any specific ways that you have learned to trust Him enough not to live in fear? I would like to figure out how to do that.
Tamara |
| posted by tamara on 10/16/2007 11:51 PM
|
|
|
|
|
| A verse that you may find helpful is 2 Timothy 1:7 "For God did not give a spirit of timidity, but one of power, love and self-discipline." When I came across that verse and realized God did create us with POWER and self-discipline it opened up a whole new feeling. Try looking it up in different versions, it is written differently. |
| posted by Joette on 10/17/2007 06:28 AM
|
|
|
|
|
Thanks, Joette. I'm not a very outspoken person. I am fairly passive. But raising Amanda is definitely my challenge in life. When I feel like I can't do it, He reminds me that I'm the only one who can. I know that I will have to toughen up in order to do that. I will keep this verse nearby. Thank you.
Tamara |
| posted by tamara on 10/17/2007 04:52 PM
|
|
|
|
| |
| |
|
|
|
| |  |
| |
|
|
|
