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| Parents of Toddlers |
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My son is almost 20 months old and has attended church with me since he was only a few weeks old, about two months ago I started letting him stay in the nersery every other Sunday and he did this for nearly a month. Then my husband and I got memberships at the local YMCA and I took him into the nursery while I went to Yoga. Well 20 minutes into the class they had to come and and get me because Allen was having a complete meltdown. Since that visit I have not been able to get him to even stay at the nursery at church let alone at the Y. I need some advice on how to get him over this phase. Working out is literally the only "me" time I get and I need it more than two mornings a week. Has any one else had this problem?
Kyleen |
| Posted by Kyleen on 10/11/2007 08:34 PM
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| I can certainly sympathize with you. My son is 22 months old and he is very attached to me. However, I found a local babysitter that I take him to about two days a week so he can get interaction with other children. He seems to like the routine. My thought is, though, that if your son was doing fine at the church nursery, that something else must have happened at the gym. It could be just a change in routine, or maybe there was a negative interaction with another child. It's really hard to tell when your child can't properly communicate what he's feeling. But, my suggestion is to keep taking him to the gym & church nurseries, expecting the meltdown, but hoping for the best. (Maybe take one of his favorite toys with you). Once your son realizes that this is now part of his routine, it will probably get better. You could also find a local babysitter (I know it's not free like the others) but it would give you some time to yourself. I have learned that I can't let my son's moods completely change what I need to get done. We all need alone time, that's for sure! |
| posted by Julie on 10/11/2007 08:49 PM
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| Thanks Julie, I will try the toy and maybe a snack. As it is I have given up on taking him to the gym on my yoga days ( the class is an hour long) and usually have my brother or aunt watch him but I was thinking about taking him to the gym on the opposite days for a shorter amount of time (even 20 minutes on the stairmaster can clear my head) and see how he does but Church is a little trickier because when I pick him up at the nursery when he has a meltdown and take him into the santuary with me he is upset. the question I am fighting with is if I take him out of the church nursery and we leave in the middle of the service is he getting his way? The thing is as soon as I get him out of the whatever situation is causing the meltdown he is a very happy little boy and I am the one who is completely at my witts end.. |
| posted by Kyleen on 10/11/2007 08:56 PM
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Kyleen,
I agree that he may need to get used to the routine and the people before the meltdowns subside.
When we decided to put our house on the market a few months ago, I started bringing my then 22-month-old twins to a sitter twice a week for a couple of hours, so that I could spend time cleaning, packing, etc. At first, one of my sons was very upset. He would cry when I left and would require that the sitter read him his favorite book over and over. After the first couple of times he started to get anxious as soon as we would turn down her street. Eventually, though, he stopped crying when I left and began to interact with his brother and the other kids more and not require so much attention from the sitter. These days he cries when it's time to go home, because he's having such a good time and doesn't want to leave.
I know you don't want your son to be unhappy, but he may need to learn that mommy goes away for a little while but always comes back. He may even start to enjoy himself while in the nursery. Your "me" is extremely important and you shouldn't feel at all guilty about it. Give your son a chance to get used to the new routine and it may turn out to be good for both of you.
Kathy |
| posted by Kathy on 10/11/2007 09:47 PM
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| Thanks for the advice Kathy, I know my "me" time is important and will make me a better,more patient mother but I am having such a hard time fitting everything in that I always come out on the short end of the deal, but recently I have been making an effort to try to bring a little bit of me back into my life. Before becoming a mom I always thought that it was a cleashe (not sure how to spell it hope you know what I mean) when I heard moms say they have "lost" themselves but now I understand!! |
| posted by Kyleen on 10/11/2007 10:05 PM
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| You might could try staying in the nuresry at church for a little bit with him each week so and then gradually cut the time that you are in ther back and see how that goes. then get him use to that and then let him start at the gym. sorry i really dont have any other suggestions. Sarah is 21 months old and has stayed in the nursery at church since she was about 7 months old. When she started crawling. |
| posted by Natasha on 10/11/2007 10:40 PM
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