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| Breastfeeding Mommies |
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| OMG!! This is just a rant but I'm so upset. I was at my mother's and step-dad's last night and Stella was fussing. Obviously she was hungry. So I was just talking out loud to her and and I'm like, "Is somebody hungry?" and my step-dad's like, "Could you wait?? I'm going shinning anyway." This lead to more discussion and APPARENTLY he's uncomfortable with me breastfeeding and he finds it DISGUSTING. List you stupid moron, my baby comes first, before you and your inability to realize that I'm doing what's best for my baby and family. Then he left and my mom was saying how at least I cover up when there are other people around but Joey (my aunt's neighbor, friend of the family) doesn't and it's inappropriate. Come on!! She didn't breastfeed and doesn't know how hard it is to fight with an infant when you try to put a blanket on their head. And she was talking about this summer when it was so hot outside. She wouldn't want to cover up either. Then I finally told my mom that I don't care what my step-dad says and it doesn't matter if they get uncomfortable. Women need to be applauded for breastfeeding. I honestly don't care what they think at this point. They are the only people that have ever said anything, though I'm sure there are others in my life. Not even my male friends get uncomfortable and most of the time I don't cover up when they're around. I figure it's my house and they're my boobs. Anyway, just ranting. Thanks for listening... |
| Posted by Ashley on 10/05/2007 10:35 AM
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| Sorry you even had to deal with it but bravo to you for standing up for your baby. I know a lot of men are uncomfortable with breast being used for anything but sexual but to call it disgusting????...I feel the same way as you, in our home, if it makes them uncomfortable, tell them to put a blanket over THEIR head. |
| posted by Lisa on 10/05/2007 03:59 PM
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| If it's there house you should respect their comfort, but I honestly don't know why it make people uncomfortable. I try not to breast feed in public if I can help it, mostly because I feel a little uncomfortable and because my daughter is easily distracted. I find it sad that I feel that way. However, I do feel sorry for the person who says something to me, because I will certainly have something to say back. It's such a natural thing to do. I really am shocked at how most mothers don't breastfeed or try for a week and give up. Good for you for saying something, Ashley. Maybe if more people understood, you wouldn't want see mom's getting kicked off of airplanes for breastfeeding. I'm all for discretion, but there is no way my daughter is going to let me put a blanket over her head. If people don't like it, don't look. |
| posted by Joni on 10/07/2007 08:32 PM
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I know I'm a bit late reading this but am new to the group and am having similar issues. My in-laws make comments all the time about me stopping to breastfeed (oh, he has 4 teeth now, guess that puts an end to things..., etc.) I never breastfeed in front of anyone other than my husband, my Mom and my sisters or girlfriends. My Dad is very private and easily embarrassed so I respect that and go in another room if he or my brothers are around. I don't think my in laws would care if I nursed in front of them but I do... so, that is personal preference. However..... especially because I choose to nurse in private, I get especially angry when a comment is made about how long I will be nursing him and that it is 'disgusting'... yes, that has been used towards me as well.... sorry, men and those women that chose their husbands views over their baby's well-being, but, boobs were made for babies, not for men.
I found a way to shut my in laws up and it may work for others. They were horrified and still said that it was wrong but I don't care. When they made the comment about me stopping because of the new teeth, my reply was, "Actually, Drew (my son) and I have the same dr. and she JUST stopped breast feeding her 2 1/2 year old. (enter the horrified faces and grunts...) The Academy of Pediatrics recommends that Mothers breastfeed their children for AT LEAST one year and however long after that until one or both are ready to stop." They may be disgusted with me, but, I doubt that it will come up again- at least any time soon. |
| posted by Lauren on 10/18/2007 09:44 AM
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| People are really crazy. Get this. I had a girl, she was about six months pregnant, inquiring about me breastfeeding at a party. She said she doesn't know how I do it and that she finds it kinda disgusting. Yet that night she tells me how she couldn't give up her coffee while she is pregnant and I saw her smoking a ciggarett, AND when I declined doing a shot because I had to breastfeed in an hour she told me there not that strong, she did one. I didn't tell her what I find disgusting. :) |
| posted by Joni on 10/21/2007 10:53 PM
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| okay so yesterday i was at my parents home again. my aunt karrie was there with us and my aunt cindy and her husband and my grandma were on their way over. we were having dinner. stella started fussing so i figured i'd feed her. i grabbed my blanket and headed for the couch in the living room. my stepdad was sitting on his chair in the living room. as i neared the couch he said to me, "i'm trying to eat." this confused me at first, i figured, wow, that's random, thanks for sharing. then my mom called from the kitchen (its like one big room) "hey, why don't you go in our room on the bed and do that." i was like, why?? i didn't understand. then i figured it out, they didn't want me doing "that" in the living in front of people. mind you, these are all people i've breastfed in front of before and my family is really close. i thought it was all a joke at first. i'm like, i'm not going to hide in the bedroom, if i have to i'll leave. i wasn't totally serious until my stepdad said, "well, then leave." i was shocked. my mom totally didn't come to my rescue at all. i told my husband to grab everything, we were leaving. i was so upset. my mom came to me, arms open, wanting my daughter. i said no, we're leaving. she's like, i just want to say good bye. i let her have her for like, 30 seconds. i grabbed her from my mom and said "if you want to see your granddaughter, then you can come to my home because i'm not coming here any more." the look on her face was horrible but why would i want to go somewhere that i'm not supported and obviously not wanted?? stepdad has always made it very clear that i was not good enough. ie, i got married to young, i don't work when i should, i have a sissy for a husband, i'm fat, breastfeeding is disgusting. fine, whatever, then i won't go there. but i'm still very upset. my mom and i are very close and i know this hurts her. but maybe i want to hurt her a little bit. as sick as that sounds, i want her to back me up sometimes. for so long it seems as if she chooses him over me. he's her husband, i get it. i stand besides my own but never if i think he's wrong and never if he was being mean to my child. i don't know what the big deal is i guess. like i said, i've breastfed in front of them all before. oh, and right before i left yesterday i told him that he was acting like an f-ing 5 year old and to get over it because they're only boobs. am i over reacting?? |
| posted by Ashley on 10/22/2007 05:12 PM
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| Of course your overreacting. But I don't balme you. I would have done the same thing. Your step-dad sounds like a jerk, but hey it's his house. That sucks that your mom didn't stand up for you. Hopefully she did when you weren't there. |
| posted by Joni on 10/23/2007 02:25 AM
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| I feel so bad that you had to leave your mother's home in such a way. As for me I only feed the baby in front of my husband and my mother. I sadly never felt comfortable in front of others. When my father was alive I would just go in the living room while he was in the kitchen. He passed away when my 1st child was 2 months old. I did have to nurse in front of my in-laws... they came to the hospital and when they called they said they would be visiting within the next 2 hours. Not sure how you can estimate there arrival and the feeding of a 2 day old baby. But anyway I did what I had to do. I have been envious of mom's who could hold there baby and walk around. I always had to sit and use a pillow with all 3 of my kids. Not sure how others did it. I am amazed that some people think that breastfeeding is disgusting. I hate to inform them but most living things feed babies one way or another so what is so disgusting about that.... Sorry to say but how do you think babies were fed hundreds of years ago. Don't believe that formula was around than for our ancestors do you. Granted I am not an expert on this nor have I done any research nor do I care to do so but I just don't believe mom's had access to formula and bottles many many years ago. |
| posted by MK on 11/06/2007 10:36 AM
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