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| First Time Moms |
| Public online group |
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| My brother and his girlfriend are having a baby in January. She has 2 older kids and does not want a baby shower but wants gifts. They have registered at 2 places. I am in charge of letting people know they need stuff and was wondering if I could pull this off without seeming rude? |
| Posted by K on 09/26/2007 05:12 PM
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yikes...how do you go around asking people to get things for the baby, without a baby shower?
I guess you could say something like..."hi...my brother's having a baby in January, they are registered as so and so...(handle the little card) and say, sadly we're not going to have a baby shower, if you decide to get something for them please let me know I'll pick it up, or you can just give it to me, or send it directly to them... thanks"
Or who knows...that is a hard one...I don't think I could do it...but just my opinion. |
| posted by sonia on 09/26/2007 06:21 PM
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| I have to be honest with you and say that if I was one of the people you told, I'd be offended. Would it be possible to have a small shindig at your house, their house or someone else's? You could make it a Jack and Jill thing -- couples and/or maybe even kids. It wouldn't have to be fancy, and it doesn't have to be a typical shower -- just food for people to eat, drinks for them to consume (doesn't necessarily have to be alcohol), and company with whom to mingle. Just my two cents. |
| posted by Tara on 09/26/2007 06:35 PM
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| I agree with the other ladies, you should have a little something. I would be offened to have someone just ask for a gift, not that I wouldnt get one anyway. Maybe you could give a little suprise party for her. |
| posted by on 09/26/2007 06:59 PM
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| I was also just thinking that maybe she feels she shouldnt have a party since she already has kids. I think since her kids are older it would be ok. |
| posted by on 09/26/2007 07:01 PM
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You can also send out an announcement card saying she is expecting and write down places she is registered at!
Or just meet for breakfast/lunch somewhere with the girlfriends to celebrate the new baby and she can receive gifts there. |
| posted by Margaret on 09/26/2007 07:06 PM
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| She is having a difficult time being social with this pregnancy. I don't expect people to respond well to this. They are totally anti-baby shower. It is so sad, I had sooooo much fun at mine... Thank you all for commenting and if you all think of some miracle cure for this let me know. This is really hard for me. |
| posted by K on 09/26/2007 07:06 PM
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| I just got confused. Is she and your bro "anti-baby shower"? I think it's interesting that she is having a difficult time being social with this pregnancy. Sounds like she's got a lot going on. Curious (sorry if nosy) if this pregnancy was an unexpected surprise for her. Are you close with her? How would you feel about talking with her about it? People love babies. Seriously. Although she might have a difficult time sharing her happiness, others will want to share it with her. And I know from first hand experience -- I didn't want to have a shower as my mother-in-law died just a couple months prior in a freak accident -- that people get rather cranky, to say the least, when you don't share the event with them. My sister and mom got a bit riled up. I eventually changed my mind and had a guy/girl thing at my house. Casual. No pressure. |
| posted by Tara on 09/26/2007 07:39 PM
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| Yes it was unexpected. I told my bro to have a diaper party, this is his first child. I think maybe he is a bit more excited but I'm not too sure. She missed my shower (mix up on dates) so I'm not sure if it is just the pregnancy. I am fairly close to her and plan on talking to her. I really want everyone to enjoy their little one and the fun of anticipation! That's not my choice tho... THIS SUCKS! |
| posted by K on 09/26/2007 09:31 PM
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I agree that it would be rude to straight up say that they don't want a shower, but they do want gifts. Here are a few ideas to get around it...
1. Send out an announcement once the baby comes, and put their registry info on the card.
2. Since the baby is due in January, have a New Year's or Holiday party for the expecting couple.
3.Tell them that they have to do the party thing if they want gifts, and this is a good lesson on having to do things you don't want to (something we all know is part of being a parent).
4. Tell your brother and his girlfriend that you just won't do it, but buy them a nice gift.
I've never known anyone that just wouldn't want a shower. I don't know if any of this helps, but good luck! |
| posted by Liz on 09/26/2007 09:55 PM
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| after the baby is born, you could have a "meet the baby" open house and include the registry cards in the invite...... |
| posted by Jacquelyn on 09/27/2007 11:27 AM
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It is funny how they are anti-baby showers, but yet registered to two places and want the gifts...Iol.
Sorry for the remark...but maybe that's what the people you ask for a gift without a shower might think.
I would maybe just have a get together with snacks and deserts, just a gathering, not a shower. Maybe that might help. |
| posted by sonia on 09/27/2007 12:58 PM
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