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When I was 19 I was engaged to a man who was 28. I was head over heels in love. We planned on marrying in July of 2006.
In October of 2004 I found out he was cheating on my, doing drugs and drinking heavily. i got sick of him lying and everything and left. 2 weeks after leaving him I had to quit my job due to his harrasing me. No one would help me, my only hope was to quit.
A week after that I found out I was pregnant! A shock of my life. I didnt know what I was going to do.
My mom and dad who I live with were thrilled when they found out.
In April of 2005 I was 7 months pregnant and my ex killed himself! That isnt something Im going to tell my son till he is much older.
He talks to his daddys spirit though so I know hes there for him. |
| posted by Tristin on 10/21/2006 01:40 PM
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| Sorry to hear about your situation. I'm a single mom of one. My son and I moved in with my family last fall. His father has been in jail since before our son was born. Not sure what I'll tell him when he's older. His father was keeping contact through calls and letters up until this year. Part of me thinks it's for the best that he's no in the big piture. I just worry about the impact the truth will have on my son. |
| posted by Claudine on 10/22/2006 03:17 PM
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| two years ago i devorced my daughters father. |
| posted by Cristina on 10/25/2006 12:40 PM
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| Short and to the point. My husband couldn't grow up and stop partying and being with other woman, so I got tired of it and left! |
| posted by Kristen on 11/07/2006 02:02 AM
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About 3 months ago, my husband walked out on me and our 9 month old daughter (who is now 1yr) and he took all the money and left me with all the bills.
So I moved out of Kentucky and came to Fresno, CA to live with my sister, her husband and her 4 girls.
My life is still in shambles and we are planning a divorce, and he wants joint custody and to see her all the time but I don't want that. Hes just going to confuse and upset her because she doesn't remember him and he wants to take her all the way to Kentucky and I'm not going to let that happen. |
| posted by Joy on 11/08/2006 02:04 PM
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| In July 2004 I met my childrens father. I never heard anything from him until I told him I was pregnant in October 2004. He ended up moving in with my family in February 2005 and our son Lucas was born in March 2005. From August 2005-December 2005 he was in jail. We got married January 2006 and found out that we were expecting our daughter Kayleigh in February 2006. June 18th, 2006 on Fathers Day he left me...with a great big huge mess. He left me for another women who he is currently living with. He never wanted anything to do with our daughter and wanted me to have an abortion, and to this day is still denying that she is his. He only wants to see our son. This is a 24 year old guy who has 5 kids and has taken responsibility for none of them. For only being 20 years old, I have alot of debt- but I still wouldn't trade my children in for all the money in the world. They are my life! |
| posted by Jacqueline on 11/10/2006 07:38 PM
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| Im sorry to hear that, I know how you feel, Im 21 and cant get help buying anything cause my credit is that bad...my ex left me with a huge phone bill from calling...get this....other COUNTRYS!!! |
| posted by Tristin on 11/30/2006 12:29 PM
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My ex and I divorced in 1999. I'm single because in all the time since I haven't had a date or any man show a glimmer of interest.
He has, by the way, gotten remarried to a younger (by 10 years) and thinner woman, finished his degree, and induged in his car racing hobby.
My life is still the same (except for him) and his has dramatically improved - you'd never guess I left him! |
| posted by Jennifer on 11/30/2006 08:50 PM
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| I am a single because I got tired of sharing a life with some one who only cared about their needs and negleacted their family. My ex and I were together for six years. He spent all of his money on drugs and his friends. I tried my hardest to keep my family together, but it came to a point where I got tired of being the one carring my family. To add to it he started putting his hands on me infront of my son and that was enough for me. The last thing I need is for my son to see that. |
| posted by KIMBERLY on 12/04/2006 05:43 PM
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| I am single because my husband of 13 yrs started going through a mid-life crisis at 37years of age, consisting of partying all night every night, meeting and having sex with other women, etc. The marriage was never a pleasant one from the beginning because I began to mature and become a responsible adult and he remained the same 25 yr old that I married. He has an alcohol addiction as well as sex addiction and started getting heavily into internet porn. Raising 3 boys without a father is going to be a challenge for me (I'm newly divorced since Feb '06, and just moved out of our house into a 3 bedroom apartment in November). I joined this online support group in hopes of meeting other women in similar situations to share thoughts, feelings, and garner support. |
| posted by Christine on 12/07/2006 04:38 PM
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I'm single because of a choice I made. I was married to my son's father, but shortly thereafter, and even before marrying him, I realized that I had made (was about to make a major mistake). Even when I was pregnant with my son, I knew that the marriage would not last, although I wanted it to work out for my child's sake. We separated before my son was born, and vowed to get back together when I was in my ninth month of pregnancy. This was not to be. Shortly after my son turned one, the divorce was finalized.
My son is a great joy to me; I thought I would never have children, but now I have him. I have gone on approximately two or three dates since the divorce was final (almost 6 years ago), because my main interest and focus is in raising my son--not dating. If I meet someone who is worthy of me, that's fine, and if I don't I will remain single.
About a month ago, I began homeschooling my son, and I just started a blog regarding my experience with homeschooling, working, etc. while single. The URL is below:
http://homeschoolblogger.com/plsa/ |
| posted by on 12/17/2006 03:09 PM
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Im single because after being together with the father of my daughter for 3 years, we decided to break up in november of 05... Well stupid me (well us) decided that for new years we'd try to work things out... well we dug a bigger hole for ourselves because we slept together then decided we'd be better off not trying anymore...well after 2 months and no "friendly visitor" i decided to take a test... Yep, i was pregnant... well things were aweful for a long time.. he didnt speak to me for weeks on end and denied my daughter.
Im glad to say though that after 2months hes finally accepting her and were getting along swimmingly (but were not getting back together). It does suck and there are days i miss him but im so glad to have my daugher that i wouldnt change a thing shes adorable and the most loving 2 month old ive ever met! |
| posted by Heather on 12/18/2006 11:53 PM
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| Well my story is a lot like everyone elses! I dated this guy jeff for two and a half yearsand i thought he hung the moon! I met him when i was 16 and he was 21 and really loved the attention he gave but soon into our relationahip he became very controling and wouldnt let me talk to my friends and kept going behind my back and changing my phone number so none of my friends could get a hold of me. being young and in love we got engaged when i was 18 i thought it was perfect! but soon after i started college and he wasnt feeling that he told me i only went to school to meet guys and at this point my family stepped in and we took a "break" but one night he called me and said all the right things one thing led to another and a month later i found out i was expecting! i figured out that night he was just lying to get what he wanted im guessing he never thought i would get pregnant! so therei was just tunred 19 and found out i was having a baby! i always thought he would be there for me but when i told him i was pregnant he cussed me for about two weeks to get an abortion and then after that i didnt hear from him for a lil over 6 months. when he called me he was living with another girl who took it upon herself to call me and let me know she thought my baby was a bastard. It really bothered me because at that point i had lost all touch with him and hadnt called him since he last called me. he came and saw aubrey when she was born and for like the first 3 weeks he was ok. but he went away again. then he called me a month or more later to tell me he wanted us to be together i fell for it! he was ok again for like 3 days and then he called me on a sunday morning and i had to go get him out of jail for his second dui. after i bailed him out of jail he hasnt called me in over a month and i found out he back with the girl who called my wonderful baby a bastard. i just kind of wish he would leave me alone and give me the chance to move on i have tried everything to get away from him but somehow he finds me i have had numerous numbers changed and i even moved. i feel like he doesnt want me but he also doesnt want me to move on! |
| posted by Shannon on 12/20/2006 10:21 PM
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| I was going out with my ex for the better part of 4 yrs we were living together and we had 2 dogs to complete our little family group. Needless to say i was in love with him i used to do everything evan though i worked full time in a nursery, (he is a policeman) One night i was waiting for him to come home so we could have a seriouse talk (we had already found out that i was pregnant) He was due home at 9 o'clock he walked in at midnight, i was worried sick that something had happened to him. He walks in to the bedroom where i am he turns around and says "i dont love you any more i want you to move out by mon" and it was a fri night he told me that. He tried everything he could think of to get me to change my mind about keeping the baby. He evan said one thing that he thought i would agree with because he said please i found out he thought i would say yes when his friend who he told told me that he said it! He said "We can get rid of this one and keep the next one." i couldnt believe he said that to me! needless to say after we did break up i found out that he was cheating on me! |
| posted by Rachael on 01/14/2007 12:27 PM
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| I am single because my ex decided that he didn't want to take responsibility for me or his child. I had a very difficult pregnancy and he couldn't handle it, and decided that he wanted me out of his life. My baby is here now, and he's happy, healthy and beautiful....although it was painful and sad....his decision was the best thing that happened to me....and letting go, for me was empowering. |
| posted by J on 08/23/2007 07:26 PM
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| I divorced my ex because we married too young and over the course of our marriage (6 years) I grew up and he never did. Porn addiction didn't help matters at all. I'm much happier now than I was then. Even though financially he is doing 2 times better than I am, I wouldn't want to go back to deal with it. And I'll probably stay a single mom for quite some time. Don't know if I have the patience to deal with a "grown" child as well as the two I gave birth two. I've been out with la few great guys since my divorce, just not great enough that I think I could marry them and see them 24/7. |
| posted by Punky3175 on 08/30/2007 03:21 PM
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| I was married for 4 years but in feb 07 decided that i was not happy in my marriage becuase my husbands priorities were horrible. He would rather make himself happy with his hobbies before he would make sure that his wife and child had what they needed and were happy. I did not like that he had no goals to better or life . He would complain about everything but had no ambition to fix it. So our divorce was finalized in July and me and my 20 month old daughter live together in our own apartment. I am just glad that the 2 of us can still be civil towards eachother so there is not fighting. but we still have our days. |
| posted by jessica on 09/21/2007 12:46 PM
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| I began dating a guy when I was 17 and in college. i was young, dumb, and "in love". I ended up pregnant 6 months into the relationship. I thought things were going good. My mother flipped and made me drop out, move home, and have no contact with him so I took off to a friends house until i turned 18. I moved to my BD's house and after putting up with drugs, lies, cheating, and alcohol for 1 year, I decided to split. A few months later, he said he changed so I let him move in with me and my son. He begain doing hard drugs like Crack and Cocaine then started beating me so after filling charges several times and placing a restraining order that the cops never took seriously, i moved out of state. I later found out that he had been seeing a 15 year old girl since she was 12. he is now 21 and still sees her. poor thing.... But that is why i am single. I got tired of being less important that drugs, kids, and beatings. |
| posted by Ashley on 09/24/2007 08:53 AM
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| Well my story is slightly different from some of yours. I was dating a coworker for about 4 months when I found out I was pregnant. This was my first child and I was 33 years old and had never been married. His story was that he had been separated for 2 years and was in the process of getting a divorce when he first asked me out. 2 months after I found out I was pregnant, he decided he did not want to do this anymore. His other 2 children were pre-teens and he did not want to start again. He started talking to his ex and they decided to get back together. He has now made the decision that he does not want to be involved in my sons life. I have come to terms with that now, though it was hard at first. I felt like a fool and so stupid for believing him when he said that the relationship was over, when he was really just waiting for her to take him back. Lesson learned. I feel though that God has a greater purpose for my life and considering that I had been told that I could not have a child, I know that my son was meant to be here and that his father not being in his life is probably best for him and me. |
| posted by Zevia on 09/27/2007 01:45 PM
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| i am sorry to hear about your situation.i am in a little in the same boat.i am recently seperated and in the middle of a custody battle.i found out that he has been chaeting on me the entire time of our marrige.i dont have alot of friends these days,i am looking to find some here.i would like to chat more but i dont know how this thing works.help |
| posted by Lori on 10/04/2007 06:46 PM
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| My situation is so much like Zevia's. I met this great guy who i became friends with. I knew he was still married although separated and I was really resolved to not let anything happen between us for that reason. Despite my best intentions, and despite my period and preventative measures a month after the first time we slept together I found out I was pregnant. This was after knowing him for three months. Initially he was really supportive and great but then decided he wanted to work things out with his wife and I haven't heard from him in 3 months. Such is life, huh. It's pretty crazy, but even though life is pretty stressful right now, I'm really excited about becoming a mother. My due date is in May and I can't wait to meet my baby! |
| posted by Leigh-Leigh on 11/10/2007 08:17 AM
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| Well my daughter's father and I met while vacationing in North Carolina in August 2005. We spent the week together and then he went back to work, he's in the army. I honestly never expected to see him again, but about 3 weeks later we were back home (in PA) and we ran into each other at his younger brother's band's show (I had known his younger brother for many years). After the show he had talked me into spending the rest of the night with him and his buddies. After the bars all closed we went back to his house with a couple other people...later that night we concieved our daughter. A couple weeks later we found out that i was pregnant and then a few days after that he was off to Afghanistan. We barely spoke to one another throughout the whole pregnancy, basically because we were just so scared about what our futures held. Neither of us were sure how we were going to be treating one another. While he was away I kept in contact with him and his family just so that everyone was aware of how the pregnancy was going. I had our daughter in June 2006. I began spending alot of time at his home with his family because he was still away. I wanted to make sure our girl know his family and was comfortable with them because i knew it was going to be tough on her trying to get to know him when he got home. He got home just before she turned 3 months and he was so excited, we both were (a big changed from how we felt a year earlier, lol). Anyway since then we have become fairly close. We hang out when he's around, either he'll come to my house to see our daughter or I'll bring her to his. Some people think it's really strange how well we get along, I think it's really great though! I honestly think we are as close as we are because we have so much faith in one another and we treat each other the way we would want to be treated. I consider myself lucky because with the circumstances surrounding the prenancy he easily could have walked away and denied our child, but he chose not to. Also his parents are amazing and have been a huge help for me, they are fantastic grandparents which really means alot to me since my parents are both passed. I thank God everday for having blessed me with such amazing people (he and his family) in my life. |
| posted by TC on 11/14/2007 01:42 PM
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| I met my daughters husband from my job. He was a customer and I was the one who found out his info and I called him up. Well we started dating from than on. We broke up maybe off and on 3 times the last time we got back together I found out we were going to have a baby. We were happy and scared we were later engaged to get married a few months later. When Jocelyn was born he just started truck driving and one day he just never came back. That was about 5 years ago and to this day I still have no idea where he is. |
| posted by melanie on 11/14/2007 09:31 PM
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| Me and me ex were together, broke up, found out I was pregnent, got back together B4 she was born, got engeged, moved in together, then he kicked us out a month later after i spent my last dime to get this place. Now I am a single mom! |
| posted by lll on 12/05/2007 11:02 AM
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My boyfriend and I work together, started dating several years ago. We were on the point of breaking up when we found out I was pregnant. He is emotionally and verbally abusive and we spent most of the pregnancy fighting. 5 days after our daughter was born (2 days after I was released from the hospital) he told me it wasn't working and he wanted me to take my child (not his apparently) and get out. He even helped my dad pack me up. I went to stay with my parents for a while and just recently came back to the town he and I both live in because I had to return to work.
When I got back he accused me of kidnapping our daughter (he never wanted anyone to know she was his). He apparently also told everyone we work with that he came home one day and I was gone and had taken everything out of the house (I only removed my belongings, and technically my dad and he are the ones who moved me out).
So now we are in court for custody, he wants full custody- physical and legal along with child support. I laughed and got a lawyer. I'm going for joint legal and sole physical.
He is claiming I'm overly emotional and I'm telling the court about his abuse and what happened that day. He claims I'm keeping our daughter from him, I'm telling them how many times I begged him to come to see us and about the visits I allowed him both before and after he filed for custody.
The sad part is, if he hadn't kicked us out I would still be with him. I really love him and do believe there is a good person in there somewhere. But I guess there are a lot of women like me who say that and then end up missing or dead. Which is why I won't ever go back to him. Hopefully he won't hurt 'Lissa to get to me or because he is an abusive shit. |
| posted by Kate on 12/07/2007 03:54 PM
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I am a lot like everyone else...men just dont grow up!!
I was dating my son's father for almost 6 years. We split recently because of a lot of things...he doesn't think things through before doing it, he bought a pit bull without telling me until after the purchase, he went out a lot, smoked a little too much weed...he wasn't a bad guy, but his cheating was the last straw. We had a rocky relationship towards the end and he slept with a girl we used to work with...and now she is due any day now! I just found out yesterday...wonderful...so now things between us are a little tense. I asked him to leave back in October...and now he lives with mommy. Wonderful...23 yrs old...2 kids, 2 baby mamas...anyone want him? |
| posted by Elise on 01/13/2008 04:19 PM
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I'll throw my two cents in... I was married for 13 years and while I was making preparations to be deployed to Afghanistan, my lovely wife informed me that she didn't want to be married to me anymore. This was after I had bought her a second home and moved my family cross country from Arizona to Alabama. She said that she hadn't been happy for a long time, blah, blah, blah. I found out later that she had been texting several guys (some that lived just down the road from the new house) on MySpace for several months.
I filed for divorce and it was final on Jan 16. I got custody of three of our four children and am working hard to get us all through this. All in all, I think that it was a good thing. For years I had been putting up with so much and just letting so many things go. I look forward to a brighter future.
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| posted by James on 01/26/2008 07:52 PM
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| Thank James for making a post on here I was beginning to wonder if we were all single woman or what? Best to you in raising your children, not the easyest job but the most rewarding |
| posted by Kim on 01/27/2008 09:48 AM
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| I am single because my husband (recently separated 2 weeks ago) couldn't stop abusing my son (his step-son). In November of 2007, I came home from work to find my son's back, bottoms & thighs bruised up. I went off on him and told him he had no right to hit my son. I told him if he layed another hand on him, I was going to pack up and leave. I guess he didn't take me too seriously. Both me & my son are now living in our own studio apartment and he hasn't left me alone. Constant text messaging trying to get me back. Sorry, my son means more to me than he ever will! |
| posted by LIEN on 05/15/2008 03:36 PM
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| I am single because my fathers son won't help me raise him. He wants to spunge off of me and be a "at home dad". I can not afford to be a single mom and take care of him too. (if i can do it alone i might as well be alone) He has made me resent him. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him for making me take care of our son while he sat by and refused to help. He used the I am home with him all day while you get a break card all the time and I would tell him if he had a job he wouldn't have to be at home with him all the time. But now that I am with out him it makes life so much better. And eventually my baby's daddy will have to become a man or continue to live in his mommys basement till she dies. |
| posted by Chrissy on 05/15/2008 06:26 PM
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| After reading many of your posts, I feel pretty fortunate! I was married for 10 years, and have been divorced for 9 (separated for 10). My ex and I remain friends, and although he has remarried, he remains an important and consistent part of my daughter's life. I also get along with his wife, so it makes things easier. He didn't really change over the course of our marriage, and I changed dramatically. He left me, but I think it would have happened eventually anyway. I am pretty happy with my life right now, but most of my friends are married and/or are much younger than I am. My daughter is going through adolescent rebellion, and I am just looking for some support. |
| posted by Barbara on 05/18/2008 08:20 PM
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| I met my son' father 3 months before we deployed to Iraq. I thought he was a really nice guy and we hit it off. 6 months into our deployment I found out that I was pregnant. The very day that I told him he told me about his wife, 2 daughters, and his other girlfriend who was pregnant also! Right then and there I knew that I would be going this alone, and he dosen't even care t see his son, not even pictures. I was mad at him for a while, but how is being mad at him going to accomplish anything? I just need to deal with it now. I guess that's what I get for being stupid. |
| posted by on 06/08/2008 08:59 PM
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| I was with my high school boyfriend for a year and after graduation i found out I was pregnant. We tried to make it work for five years but we were very young and his level of responsibility was not the same as mine. I took on the responsibility of being mom and dad. He is not very involved to this day, but I decided that its his loss not my sons. |
| posted by KIMBERLY on 06/09/2008 10:36 AM
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| I became a single parent by my choice, sort of. I was dating and engaged to my best friend and I was completely happy, for awhile anyway. After moving in together, I found out 6 months later I was pregnant. He told me he didn't want another baby, (since he already had 3 children from 2 other women and this man was in his 40's - all grown up or so I thought - I was wrong), and that crushed me, but I knew I wanted our baby. (I was told by many ob-gyn's that I would have trouble conceiving due to my irregular periods) 5 months into my pregnancy, and many months of him coming home late at night and the verbal abuse was unbearable, I couldn't take much more. I finally found out his little secret. He had been cheating on me which is why he didn't want me to have the baby. Anyway, I moved out immediately, (by myself, 5 months pregnant, packed all of my things and left him and walked out of his house and his life - I had just found out days before that we were having a healthy baby girl), and I have been raising my little sunshine by myself ever since. He has little to no contact with us and he lives on the opposite side of the country with the woman he was cheating on me with. My daughter turns 5 tomorrow, and we are happy. I wouldn't trade her for the world and I have no regrets. My journey has not been easy to say the least, raising my daughter alone has been the hardest thing I have ever done. I also have little to no family support as well. But I am doing it, (me and my daughter live in a small 2 BR apartment and I work full time). Basically, I am here to help other parents because I know how hard it is. If I can help just one person to not go through the many struggles I did, that would be great. One last thing, I am currently dating another single parent and it has been a wonderful new experience and very enlightening. But that is another topic ; ) |
| posted by Crystal on 06/09/2008 11:09 AM
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| My ex wasn't ready to grow up, he decided to be a dad on his own terms, when it was convenient to him. We were still dating, living separately, I was taking care of the baby full time, then he just slowly stopped coming for visits, and losing jobs right and left. He still lives with his mother, can't keep a job, and seems to think I will allow him to be a dad when it is convenient to him. |
| posted by April on 06/14/2008 01:15 PM
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This is one of the best and saddest Message boards there is. Most of the stories are men who couldn't/wouldn't grow up. And we mothers have to. We have to be both mother and father to our children so we can't stay young or immature, No matter how young we were when we had our children.
After 8 months of going it alone I have accepted that the second best thing to happen to me was my Ex freaking out the way he did. He will never change because he doesn't want to and if he was going to it would have happened while I was pregnant. He wouldn't accuse me of being controling for me wanting him to be a better man and father.
The best thing that ever happened to me was my daughter. No matter what else happens I will never regret her. She is why I can deal with this and why no matter how hard it is sometimes, I still keep pushing forward and keep trying and working to be a better person. I want her to better and stronger than I am. I could have left him earlier and I should have. I made the decision not to.
But for as much as I sit here and read these postings and think how sad it is and how much we have all lost with these men who refused to be men- more than that there is strength. We give them to much credit and to much influence over our lives and their influence on them. They don't even deserve credit for their childrens existence most of the time- at most some of them were sperm donors. We just happened to date them instead of going to a bank. We should give ourselves more credit for having the strength to raise our children alone and being women our children can be proud of. |
| posted by Kate on 06/20/2008 08:45 PM
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| I was 19 and loving life. My brest friend and I decided to move to another state 9 hours away from our family to go to school and find our future. I had a full time job, and was enrolled to finish my last semester of jr. college. I met my babys father down town portland. We started spending a lot of time together and soon he moved in with me. I knew he was cheating on me and everyone told me to dump him, but every time I tried to break it off he would sweet talk his way back into my life. After about fuve months of this, I was rear ended by a drunk driver. I lost my car, my appartment, and my job. I had to move back home. I told my doctor I might be pregnant but he insisted it was the car accident symptoms. Three months later I found out I was. I got ahold of my ex and he told me I was to far away to do anything about it. He changed his number and moved. Child support can't find him either. I guess Im better off. Hopefully I can find a wonderful man to be my daughters father. |
| posted by on 06/23/2008 12:14 AM
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I am a Single Mom by choice.
At the age of 18 I found out that I was pregnant with my Son. My son's Father and I were together for only eight months before than, but had grown up together since we were in Preschool.
I had found out that I was pregnant at one of the WORST times in my life. But I never questioned the blessing that I now have. I had gotten myself into some trouble that I was going to have to pay for, but I was willing to overcome all the obstacles that stood in my way to raise my son. On the other hand his father was jobless for no reason and had no ambition to do what he needed to do to be a father. In March of 2007 I decided that I needed to just do this on my own. He had no problem with that happening.
In July of 2007 I had our Son, five weeks early. His father did want to know when he was born, but I was unable to get a hold of him until Jack was three weeks old. Since his birth Jack has seen his Father three times. I am fine with that.
One day, we will have someone in our lives who will be Jack's father. And I am prefectly fine with my Father being his "Father Figure" at this point in his life.
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| posted by Molly on 06/25/2008 12:31 AM
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Well ... My x wife couldn't respect our relationship. She cheated on me and also had an online affair with someone who recorded everything on cam and tryed to blackmail her with it.
The last straw for me was coming home after work in the morning (i worked graveyards) and finding the kids still in bed. They had to be up and rdy for school by the time i got home. So i got them up and was getting them ready when she woke up and started yelling at them. Apparently she woke them up then went back to bed (she had been up all night playing on the computer) and she was upset they went back to sleep. Our kids were in K and 2nd grade i tryed to explain that it wasn't their responsibility to get themselves off to school and she just couldn't understand that.
So i found a place for me and the boys, made sure she had living arrangements, and left with the kids. It's been me and them for the last 5 years now and i wouldn't change that for anything. |
| posted by jason on 06/29/2008 04:55 AM
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| I was dating a guy who i thought was perfect, he treated me great, was protective over me, always wanted to spend time with me, that is untill i found out that i was pregnant. He would stay out all night and not come home for days at a time, i finally had enough of it when i received a phone call from his other girlfriend, explaining to me that she found out about me by checking his phone messages and that there were also 4-5 other girls at the time. I tried to break up with him, but he (i'm assuming) found out that i knew and never spoke to me, so i packed up his stuff and set it in the yard for him to pick up. When i was 3 months pregnant i found out that he had been arrested for a violation of his probation, which i never knew he was on! Then i found an online website, typed in his name and found out that for the past 7 years he has been in and out of jail for beating women, and was most recently charged with assult with a deadly weapon. I moved and changed my phone number and have never heard from him since. |
| posted by kristi on 07/06/2008 12:20 AM
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| My son's father does drugs and deals and all that and it was cute until i found out i was pregnant. Once that happened everything had to change. he didn't even have a real job. So when i was 3 months pregnant i left him and because i left him he accused me of cheating and all kinds of stuff, God, he would say the meanest things ive ever heard to me. And i was pregnant! What kind of real man would treat a pregnant woman like that?? Not to mention i had a real hard pregnancy. I got Lyme disease when i was 14 weeks pregnant, i get getting synus infections that would really knock me down and i was horribly ill for the first 6 months of the pregnancy, not to mention i was retaining so much fluid and i gained 63 pounds (all my life i had been super skinny and obsessed with being super skinny). And one more thing was that i work as a nursing assistant and i worked almost right up until i went into labor a month too soon. Anyway, after the baby was born he constantly harrassed me saying i was a horrible person not letting him see his son and all. im sorry. i have more dignity then that. i told him he haad to go through the court systems before he can claim his son. Besides, honostly, i dont need his money. The only problem is, now, that im finally think im ready to start dating again (my son is almost a year old) its hard for me to meet someone decent enough now that i have a son to think about. Anybody feel the same way?? |
| posted by Ashlee on 10/25/2008 09:58 AM
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| My son's father does drugs and deals and all that and it was cute until i found out i was pregnant. Once that happened everything had to change. he didn't even have a real job. So when i was 3 months pregnant i left him and because i left him he accused me of cheating and all kinds of stuff, God, he would say the meanest things ive ever heard to me. And i was pregnant! What kind of real man would treat a pregnant woman like that?? Not to mention i had a real hard pregnancy. I got Lyme disease when i was 14 weeks pregnant, i get getting synus infections that would really knock me down and i was horribly ill for the first 6 months of the pregnancy, not to mention i was retaining so much fluid and i gained 63 pounds (all my life i had been super skinny and obsessed with being super skinny). And one more thing was that i work as a nursing assistant and i worked almost right up until i went into labor a month too soon. Anyway, after the baby was born he constantly harrassed me saying i was a horrible person not letting him see his son and all. im sorry. i have more dignity then that. i told him he haad to go through the court systems before he can claim his son. Besides, honostly, i dont need his money. The only problem is, now, that im finally think im ready to start dating again (my son is almost a year old) its hard for me to meet someone decent enough now that i have a son to think about. Anybody feel the same way?? |
| posted by Ashlee on 10/25/2008 09:58 AM
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| Gosh it has been 10 months since I first posted on here about being single. Needless to say since I have been away from my son's father, a year at this point...his abuse (both physical and emotional) has gotten out of control. I currently have an Order of Protection on him...so he can't see/talk to me or my son. We have court again on Monday to extend it. But...needless to say, in my situation this was the ONLY way I could get him to leave us alone. He has been awful! Literally. To the point that we are both in domestic therapy. That is bad. So needless to say I will be single for a LONG time! haha |
| posted by Elise on 10/25/2008 11:37 AM
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I had just dropped out of college in California, planning on traveling to coast for a while to find myself. My first night I was in Venice Beach, being naive and stupid, I didn't realize how scary and dangerous it becomes at night. [I'm from a small town in Ky.] All the cops where gone and the drug dealers and prositutes came out. I was very out of my element and freaked out. Some guy was trying to convince me to come stay with him at his house, and then two other guys showed up and made him leave me alone. They seemed really concerned for me and why I was out there on my own.... I was stupid.
They told me I should go with them to their friend's where it was safe. I kept saying I'd be alright, but finally they convinced me to just give them a ride there. Then they convinced me to just check out their friend's house. It seemed surprisingly nice. There was a couple and a baby, and they seemed fine. Then we all went outside to smoke a cigarette, and the guys I came there with started doing coke and asked me to do it. I got really freaked out because I'd never been around that, so I kept saying I was going to leave and they told me it wasn't safe for me out there. The owners of the house (who were not doing drugs) told me I could sleep in the baby's room and the baby would sleep with them. So I finally agreed and went in there and closed the door. A little later, one of the guys came in there, saying there wasn't enough room anywhere else to sleep and could he sleep in the floor?. I didn't want to tell him no because I somehow felt that he was doing me a favor by giving me somewhere to sleep. But then he started trying to do stuff with me. I told him that I was very uncomfortable and, even apologized for saying no to him. But he kept on. Taking my clothes off. When he got on top of me, I tried to push him off with my feet, but he just laughed and ignored it. I might have been able to really fight him off if I hadn't been so weirded out by the whole situation and insecure, but I don't even worry about that now, because even thought I took the "morning after" pill, it didn't work, but I now have the most beautiful baby girl that I can't imagine life without!
I do sometimes worry about what I'll tell her when she asks about her father, especially because she's half black and I live in an all-white county. But it could be so much worse, because we have a wonderful family to support us and love us both, and I know that many of you have to deal with a man who is your child's father who is still around causing you and your family all kinds of stress, and maybe even danger. And I'm very sorry for all of you who have to go through that. Let's just all be thankful for our beautiful children who make our lives worth living! |
| posted by kaitlyn on 10/31/2008 01:11 AM
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Well I am a single mother when it comes to my daughter as I am no longer with her father because I got tired of the abuse and him choseing his job over his family. We got together, moved intogether. He would verbaly and physically abuse me. I thought that he would change and married him. He didn't, we got divorced. Still slept together because I was young, neive and lonely. Got pregnant, go back together then I kicked him out of my parents house after one night I needed help with our daughter and he refussed to come home from work after being there for 10hrs that day. At first he only took her when it was convient to him and now he wants her full time because thats what his girlfriend wants.
I did find someone else that I am engaged to now. Because of certain medical issues for both us doctors told us that it would be an absolute mircle if i got pregnant. well we got our mircle and our son wa born this past july. we are still together. but my daughter does not wnat much to do with him anymore because of things my ex tells her. |
| posted by Becky on 11/02/2008 05:59 PM
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| Well I had been friends with this gut for a while and we decided to start dating. He was in the process of a divorce and I had just got out of a relationship that my boyfriend was cheating the whole time. Well things were going great. I got pregnant and was having a really hard time. He started liying to me so I told him I was done. Well I decided to give him another chance. His sister passed away so we moved 3 hours away to be with his family. We statyed with them for awhile then got an apartment. After that he told me his job was sending him out of state for training and since I was having a hard time he wanted me to stay with my family while he was gone. Well he had all these excuses why he couldn't make it home every weekend and blah blah. Then he started only calling every few days. Come to find out he never went anywhere but to live with his wife (that was supposed to be ex-wife, his mother and I watched his other kids when they went to court to supposedly finalize the divorce)! |
| posted by Jaiden's Mommy on 11/04/2008 03:53 PM
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I foolishly married a man I didn't really know, the marriage became abusive in every way imaginable and eventually I got the courage to leave.
So now, here I am two years later and I know I made the best decision for my children and for myself. |
| posted by Casey on 11/05/2008 08:05 AM
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| when i was 18 i feel head over heals with my daughters father got engaged when i was 3 months pregnant and when he found out i was having a girl he didnt like it and accused me of sleeping around then about 2 months later he up and left me being 8 months pregnant so i moved in with my parents and after 5 years me and my 5 year old girl still live with them i have been a full time college student and part time worker a long with being a single mom |
| posted by sheila on 01/03/2009 07:54 PM
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| Unfortunately I made the stupid mistake of falling head over heals for someone way too fast! I'm 25 and after a couple months and failed birth control I found out I was pregnant. My BD was around through the pregnancy for the most part and after she was born things just changed. We were long distance to begin with so it was hard -- then add a baby into the mix and the long distance thing became even harder. I tried to make things work, phone calls, driving 4 hours to let him see his daughter. It got to the point where it was all one sided and he was mad because I didn't want to move my daughter to be closer to him. I'm sorry but how was I going to move with my child to someone's couch! He didn't even have his own place -- that would have been really irresponsible and not the right thing to do as a parent. Needless to say my daughter and I have heard from him in almost 4 months. We got no call for her 1st Thanksgiving or Christmas and her 1st birthday is this Thursday -- I highly doubt we will hear from him. I've petitioned the court for child support and that's in the works; my daughter deserves it and with $1,200 a month in daycare I need some help or I will be living with my parents FOREVER! |
| posted by Erica on 01/05/2009 11:30 AM
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The father of my daughter and I had only been dating for a little while and he moved in with my roommate and I things were going good while we were partying and having fun but then I started not feeling so good. Everyone told me I was pregnant but we had been using condoms so I figured I was just getting a flu, and finally to make everyone stop saying that I took a test. Well needless to say since Im on this site the result was positive. I was soo happy, but really worried about telling him since he already had a daughter with another woman and things were strained between them. Then I found MSN logs of conversations he was having with other women saying theings like last night was great etc. you know. so I confronted him of course, I should have just told him to pack his bags then, but I also told him I was pregnant. well three days after I told him that he had moved himself into his new girlfriends place! He stayed pleasant with me for about a month (till he moved his furniture out leaving me with nothing) then he told me that the baby I was carrying wasnt his of course since we were using condoms and I had been cheating on him etc. when I was about 5 months pregnant I stopped talking to him. I was so stressed with him saying nasty things about me I just gave up, I needed to not be stressed to have a healthy baby, to have a healthy me. He made no effort to contact me so I let it go, it was going to be better that way. 6 weeks after I had Logan he sent me a message on MSN seeing how she was and I was friendly, thinking maybe if he wanted to be around it wouldnt be so bad. I thought he deserved a chance. So we set up time after time for him to come over to see her but he never showed up LOL so I gave up, it was just more of his lame shit and I still dont need it! LOL so shes 5 months old and he hasnt ever seen her and Im going through court stuff right now for full custody so I can get a guardianship and have her go to my parents if anything happens to me so he cant swoop in then. The last thing my little girl deserves is to have to go live with a stranger drug addict LOL
And as for other guys... well most of them are exactly like him.. I deserve better
Actually I dated someone for a little while while I was pregnant but I found out he was into kids, and not in the way you want your boyfriend to be.... |
| posted by Cait on 01/10/2009 10:17 PM
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| My story is similar to Punky's and Christine's. I was with my exhusband for 15 years and finally found out that he was a sex/porn addict, which started just a month after I found out I was pregnant. I always knew he was a private person but as any of you who have dealt with addicts know that after awhile, things just kind of click together and you figure out what's REALLY going on and it takes you totally off guard! After awhile, I just couldn't handle the lying and cheating anymore! He's in a 12 step program now, and we have settled at friends, for my daughter's sake. He is trying his best, (which isn't much) but many of you have stories so much more tragic than mine! Everything happens for a reason, so I just take one day at a time and just remind myself that I don't need him anymore, I've already got the best part of him...my daughter. |
| posted by Angie on 01/11/2009 11:45 PM
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