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| Parents of Teens |
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| Does anyones elses teens treat thier younger siblings badly? My ss is so mean to his little sister sometimes (the 8yo). She has many times said to me that he hates her. She gets so upset by this. His bio mom and I have talked to him about it and for a while he was being nice, but now he is back to doing it again. |
| Posted by on 09/10/2007 12:39 PM
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I wish I could help you with this. Daniel and Rachel are 4.5 years apart, him being older. They have their tiffs, but he never treats her any worse than he treats him and they seem to resolve it and get over it without my intervention.
Though he wouldn't admit it if you asked, Daniel cares very much about his sister and enjoys spending time with her.
Maybe someone else can relate? |
| posted by Kelly on 09/10/2007 02:07 PM
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There are four children between hubby and I, I have (2) boys and hubby has (1) of each. The boys have always got along. the ss is the youngest. Plus the ss didn't live with us the first five years. My oldest son is out of the house and my youngest is a peacemaker. He will go out of his way to include ss. There was no problem there, but... the sd never got along with the boys including her brother. We made it a point for hubby to do things on a one on one basis with her, from time to time. It was nothing more than her feeling neglected and not wanting to share.
I did the same with my boys. One liked going to dinner and would talk my ear off. I sat queitly and listened. He was allowed to talk about anything, including if he was unhappy at the time about the steps, I was not there to judge or give advice. My oldest and I worked together and rode to work together and did lunch.
I have to say I get a little testy too when I feel I'm being neglected by hubby. I will literally tell him," I feel neglected "you need to do something with me, we then go to the movies or dinner or flea markets.
I would tell you that his bioparent should spend some time just with him, doesn't even have to be a whole day or cost any money. I knew where every park was in our county.
Divorce is hard on kids. They now have to share their parent with strangers and tend to feel left out.
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| posted by Kathy on 09/10/2007 02:09 PM
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My kids are 15 and 5. My teenager has treated the younger one harshly. He would hit her on the head, scream at her, and tease the crap out of her. He too would say he hates her.
We eventually went into counseling, all of us, and we worked on several of a list of many issues we needed to resolve. I make sure to tell both kids that I love them and I hug each one before they go to school.
The "tip jar" worked wonders in our family. The kids gets tips for chores, being nice, feeding the dogs, etc. My son likes that, for he receives his own money, and the little one enjoys it just to count her numbers. My son, now gives her money, just because.
As for my step children, when they were small, we made it a point of treating all the children equally. Now, that they are older, they really don't pay attention to ours. They are only interested in themselves, which is sad.
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| posted by esther on 09/11/2007 09:20 PM
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Thanks ladies,
I think it is the age difference between them. Yes, the 8 yo can be a pain in the butt but she is only 8. I will keep the tip jar in mind, I am going to have his dad talk to him. I guess I worried if he treats his sis this way he might be treating others this way too. |
| posted by on 09/12/2007 01:45 PM
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