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| Single Parents |
| Public online group |
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I am a 31 yr old single mom of Milo who is 16 months. His father and I casually dated and he moved away when I was early pregnant. I have tried to be a part of a single mom's group and that didn't go as well as I had hoped. I feel lonely a lot and most of my friends are in good marriages with kids and I don't know where/with whom to relate. I find myself hating my son's father whenever he calls, partially I wish he would just go away forever. I know this isn't right.. but it is so hard.
i would love to get to know others who are working through issues of being a single mom.
natasha |
| Posted by Natasha on 09/08/2007 10:38 PM
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I understand how you feel, I'm a 36 year old stay-at-home, single mom. My daughter Ally, is 2 1/2 years old, her father is attending graduate school and doesn't live too far from where we do but doesn't visit often. My friends started having children when we were younger so their kids are grown up and in high school. I've tried joining a "mommy and me" group but I didn't quite fit in since the members were all couples, I didn't want to feel or make anybody else feel uncomfortable. I've even tried making friends at my neighborhood grocery store when I see a mom and child about the same age as Ally. Did I mention I loped on 80 lbs. since Ally was born!!!
Please let me know if you want to talk about it, Maggie |
| posted by Maggie on 09/09/2007 01:09 PM
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Hey Ladies! Thrilled to see a place where I don't feel like a freak who failed at the American dream of a home with a mom and dad, 2 kids, a mini van and a dog named Butch!
I am s single mom for the second time around so I have most people beat with two failed relationships. I got pregnant with my first born at 20 while dating a somewhat older man who I adored because he mature, and stable and settled. Behind the scenes was another women. Whew! I was off! A month after the break up I found out I was pregnant and became a single mom I guess by choice! Four years later I began dating and old highschool sweetheart. Thought it was fate. He had all the right answers. Was respectful of a single mom and her cautions. We talked several times about the uniqueness of dating a single mom and all that comes with it. And as a son of a single mom he came through with flying colors. Until we had a child of our own and I guess it was all to much to bear. He just couldn't handle the responsibilty of a family and a mature relationship.
To say the least my last chance to settle down was wasted and I fight the urge every day to stick a spoon in his heart. J/K!!!! Really~ Instead I pray and hope for patience and a peaceful home with me and my kids. And hope to find other parents like me. So please send me a friend request and save my ex from a spoon in his chest! |
| posted by Melissa on 09/09/2007 07:42 PM
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Hey everyone! It's really good to hear your stories. It makes me feel like I'm not so alone out here. I sometimes I think I'm the oldest single mom in the world. So I don't fit in with the married friends, I don't fit in with the single friends w/ no kids, and I'm afraid I won't fit in with the the twenty something single moms. I know I need to think about the things I have in common with the people around me instead of how we're different, and I'm trying, but it's hard.
3 years ago I was a married woman with no plans to have kids, and going through a really difficult period in our marriage where we felt like strangers, we couldn't talk to each other and we couldn't agree on anything. I was thinking of leaving but hadn't quite made the decision. And then, of course, I found out I was pregnant at 37. I always knew that my husband didn't want more children, he was very clear on that, and I was willing to go along with that because I was in love and figured, why should I give up love on the chance that some day someone might want to have a baby with me. So, he told me he didn't want the baby and if I kept it he would never talk to me again. So, I left, came home to live with my parents and had a beautiful little boy named Joshua. I wouldn't trade him for anything. I just worry about him growing up, feeling different and wondering why his dad didn't want him. I hope by listening and talking to you all that I will be strong enough to give him what he needs and let him know that he is the best thing that ever happened to me and that none of this is his fault. Take care everyone!! |
| posted by Julie on 09/10/2007 10:07 AM
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I so can relate to all of your words...I'm a 33 single mom of 4.5 year old girl. I went to church yesterday which has been a struggle for me since my divorce. I had my family, my home, my dog, active in church..then my ex comes home one day and says "I am not in love with you anymore and don't know if I ever will be again"...needless to say 2 years later I still fight the tears and have a tough time with having it all ripped out from under me. Why did I marry a pilot everyone says! Church was always a tough place for me but I finally thought I was finding my place, and through the divorce they were horrible! I stopped going because I felt out of place and unwanted. Now, I've started going back and though they don't make me feel that way...it is still there...I see the people in the pews with their families...they talk about family functions...and I think to myself...wow...I had that...and now I'm alone. I'm dating a great man who knows the feeling too, but I've got the caution lights screaming and blinging like mad because I'm so frightened to let it go again...
I've learned to stay away from mommy groups...they just make me sick and depressed more than ever. I joined a meet up group where the people were not active but I met one lady who is happily married with kids, working mom...but she so grounds me and makes me feel like there is hope again someday I think mainly because of our personalities..and she is so non-judgemental and doesn't throw her marriage in my face...but I've so desperately wanted a friendship with another single parent who totally gets where I'm coming from and feels my pains... |
| posted by Cathleen on 09/10/2007 10:15 AM
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| Wow... I can relate to all of your post on here.. It is hard to start over when you think you found "the One". We have recently moved down this way from Delaware. So all our family is about 2 1/2 hrs away and Ill tell you it gets lonely. I am dating this great guy that is great with my son and great with me but again just scared to let him in. Maybe we could all get together :) |
| posted by Courtney on 09/11/2007 10:31 AM
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| hi, im a 40 yr.old mom of a 12 yr. old. i know exactly how u feel.married friends just dont get it, and responsible grown-up single moms are hard to find.work hard be proud of yourself and remember u dont need him to raise your child right.be glad when he does contribute &do your best when he doesnt .my child hasnt seen her dad for 5 yrs hes paid 2000.00 in 12 yrs. sometimes im so exhausted all i can do is sit & cry. but id rather cry because i try too hard than because i didnt try enough.i joined this group looking for a single mommies group in the area, w/o any luck, just stay at home moms,they totally dont get it. its hard but its worth it |
| posted by rebecca on 11/29/2007 05:51 PM
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