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| Adoptive Families |
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I remember my cousin when he was 7 or 8 had a school assignment about adoption. He wrote that it was an act of love. So his parents told me that he was adopted (actually he was not) and he reacted very badly refusing simply the idea of being adopted. I was very chocked by this reaction and I am always wondering how do you say it right?
Vero |
| Posted by Vero on 03/08/2007 05:08 PM
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Hi Vero!
I don't know what is the right or wrong way for each person's family, but we have two adopted daughters. We have an open adoption with our oldest child who is 2 - we have already told her "her story". Of course right now it's very simple, like "your birth mother picked me to be your mommy" or when we say prayers at night we ask God to bless her birth mother. My second daughter is a closed adoption but we say very similar things to her too. I know they don't really know what it means yet, but I think that if it becomes part of your family's vocabulary from the beginning, it's not so shocking. Let me know what you think.
-Kristin |
| posted by kristin on 03/09/2007 07:15 PM
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I am in totally admiration for the families that decide to adopt, I am always feeling scared for them because I know I would not have the answers to those basic questions such as why my mother did not want me? Who are you anyway?
Having said that, I totally agree with your approach, I guess it is like with biological children you find the aswers when you need them.
Vero
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| posted by Vero on 03/11/2007 10:36 PM
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| We have an adoption day that is very special to our family...And we will celebrate it every year on March 17th and our son will know how sp[ecial his adoption is to us...He is 2 now so he really doesnt understand it but in due time he will...We are very open with him on the adoption and we have info that if he every wants to know more we will tell him and help him in any way find what hes looking for..We know he has 3 brothers still in Guatemala and hopefully one day we can go as a family and meet them.... |
| posted by theresa on 04/26/2007 08:59 AM
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| When my son was 4 his adoption went through, we had him in our foster care for 2 yrs. I explained to him last year that adopting him meant I would always be his mommy and daddy would always be his daddy and we would always be there for him. He yelled yeah! and clapped. I was not planning on explaining any further until either he asks me questions or I think he is old enough to understand what adoption means and who his bio mom is. He's my hu's great nephew, so he saw is bio mom at Christmastime. |
| posted by tasha on 05/15/2007 10:23 AM
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Hi Tasha,
your situation is really particular being the bio mom in the family. Does it make it more difficult?
Vero |
| posted by Vero on 05/15/2007 07:04 PM
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Cool thread!
I I ordered this book from MY creations(a company).It's a personalized adoption story for my child.It has all of the details like foster mom and # of travel times,etc.
I will start reading this book to Max on a more consistent basis once he is more interested.
I do talk about Guatemala on an almost daily basis,though and I still keep in touch with foster mom.
To answer the question I guess he will "just know" that he is adopted and so,so special to us.
gloria |
| posted by Gloria on 06/07/2007 10:47 PM
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we just got our sons! they are 3 1/2 and 2, so they KNOW they weren't always with us. they were in foster care, so we've talked about their foster mommy being a special mommy who got them ready for us, their forever mommy and daddy. we haven't tackled the birth mom issue yet, i'm waiting for questions.
we also read "a mother for choco", which is about a little bird looking for his mother. it's our oldest's favorite book. he even wanted me to bake him an apple pie like the mother in the book did for the bird (yes, i did it that day and he and his brother helped). we have "life books" for them, so they can see what their bio mom and bio dad looked like, as well as their foster family.
in our case, i feel rather blessed because bio mom and bio dad DID want them and loved them VERY much, they just weren't able to care for them. |
| posted by Christina on 08/26/2007 08:52 PM
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Congratulations Christina on your sons adoptions, it is a blessed moment when great kids find great parents!
Vero |
| posted by Vero on 08/27/2007 09:53 PM
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